Supporting DC in thinking about Asperger’s?

[ByzantiumChristmas]

Hi there. DS is 20 and academically very successful. It seems pretty clear to me that he also has Asperger’s and I feel very guilty that we did not pursue this a decade ago when signs were first showing.

I tend to think the benefit for him of having an Asperger’s diagnosis, or at least thinking about himself in an Asperger’s context, would be that it would give him a framework for thinking about & dealing with the difficulties he faces. Does that sound right?

And assuming it is, what would be the best way of broaching this with him? I absolutely do not want to destroy his self-confidence by coming across as ‘I think you must have Asperger’s, you’re so weird’. That would be awful. I want rather to be offering a way of looking at things - something that he might find helpful in addressing various challenges. But how to do this?

Is there maybe anything I could suggest he read? Or anything I could read about how to support him? I’m floundering a bit & feeling very bad for him. He’s such a good person & really struggling in some important ways. I just don’t know how to move forwards & help him.

Any thoughts appreciated.

They don't give aspergers diagnosis anymore and haven't for about 15 years. It's just one type of presentation on the the wider autism spectrum. Not having a go, but if he's likely to want to read about it, it would be more useful to give him the current terminology to look up.

This.

That’s actually not true. Asperger’s was still used as a diagnosis up until the end of 2021 using ICD 10.

Please research the correct terminology and diagnoses.

But not used now - so your point is irrelevant to this post.

My point is entirely relevant as it was given for accuracy.

Does he know you have these thoughts OP? I’m assuming not because of how you’ve worded it. It’s tricky as being autistic isn’t a bad thing and he may just find his way naturally. He may not want a label.

what’s your relationship like?

And sorry - what does he mostly struggle with?

It’s not classed as Asperger’s it’s now autism

Is there an area of life he is struggling with?

If not, maybe best to leave it. But in these circumstances I might say ‘when you were X years old I did wonder if you were neurodivergent. Have you ever thought that?’

Hes an adult. He would have to pursue this himself. So ask what he thinks.

Sit down and have a chat about autism. Most likely it isn't news to him.

I’m in a similar situation with my DS, 19. So no bright suggestions but I’m here for any hints and tips! Does he talk to you about issues he’s having? Would it work to maybe say something like ‘some people with neurodivergence also have these issues, is that something you’ve ever thought might apply to you?’

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism/the-history-of-autism/asperger-syndrome

About why the term Asperger isn’t used anymore.

Unless he is asking for your help, suggesting he has autism is a bad idea. Some people find it helpful, lots don’t. You would likely help him more by supporting him with the specific things he finds difficult.

I would think he would be aware of neurodivergence by now @ByzantiumChristmas

Being autistic alongside other neurodivergence’s, are much more talked about and accepted in the younger generation. I’d suggest you look at https://www.autism.org.uk/ for more info.