Rate my invention/idea: viewing balconies in festive supermarkets

[singthing]

I have been enjoying some of the tales of MNers who have "ruined" someone else's Christmas because they took the last salmon or had someone steal their sherry trifle from their trolley.

As we do not yet have the ability to fly or teleport, I would like to suggest some kind of temporary suspended viewing gallery setup in large supermarkets, that is open for the last few days and hours before C-Day. People like us can then come along and watch the carnage unfolding below them, like a modern day gladiatorial arena.

Optional add-ons I am considering

• A jury phase where one chosen offender is tried for their shopping crime
• At-seat service for drinks and snacks
• A one time voucher that entitles the viewer to use the tannoy and heckle an offender (or possible a water pistol to squirt them with?)
• A similar gallery located outside Pandora shops the last half-day before Valentine's Day and/or Mother's Day

Should I apply to Dragons Den?

I’m in

How about giving onlookers laser pointers to help competitors identify the last beef Wellington or to distract the ones you don't want to win?

I'll give you £20 for a 50% share of your business.

Count me in

I am also in

Our local Sainsbury's used to have a cafe where you could watch everyone in the frozen section. I did enjoy sitting there in my little bubble of calm.

I'm definitely in

I will add: Early backers get the front row seats.

I take your idea and counter with a supermarket sweep angle: we take the last beef wellington and hide it. Then we make an announcement with a cryptic clue and watch them go wild in the aisles!

Inflatables are optional.

can I be in charge of the music?

i will use it for evil.

Sure, as long as you play yackety-sax once per hour.

Lol
Instead of Dragon’s den you can have ‘ supermarket den’ . Watch the fights as they happen.

Make it hunger games style and give gifts to the shoppers you most think need it. Enid is battling down the milk aisle struggling with her trolley that is far too heavy for her 90 year old body to manage, throw her a stink bomb as a gift to clear out the aisle for her to get through safely. Oh no the mum with 5 kids has a toddler that has had enough and is throwing themselves on the floor, gift mum a large baileys before she picks the squirming child back up and continues.

For some reason I’m trying to think of a combination of this and squid games 🤣

Superb idea OP. I'm in too!

Ooh I'm in. I think we could also throw all the loose escaped sprouts at the worst perpetrators.

One Tesco I sometimes frequent has the Cafe on a mezzanine floor, so you can observe the food department while enjoying a coffee and cake.

Unfortunately being 25mikes from my home, its not something I could use at Christmas just for entertainment (its near DDs Sport club, so I go there during my 2hrs wait)

I am sensing solid support. I have a full year to enact my plan, so that should be enough. Less if I do a pilot with the Val/Mother's Day idea first.

Megaphones, you forgot megaphones
”Woman in the red coat, yes YOU, move that fucking trolley to the side”
”calling bald man, bald man - not that gravy powder, always lumpy, get the Bisto”
”Pyjama woman - remove your child from the Brussels sprout display”