Overhearing men Christmas shopping makes me glad in single.

[Sodthesystem]

Out grabbing a few last stocking filler bits and bobs and hear an older guy in the bookstore going 'I just wish she'd stay in the kitchen to be honest. My Christmas would be better'.

Then next, a young lad in the bodyshop going 'I have no idea what she wants. The b*tch doesn't deserve anything anyway to be honest'. To which his pal laughed.

Lovely. Like why are so many of them like this? I think I'd stay single rather than marry someone who talked like those guys. Then again, maybe their partners have no idea.

My advice to everyone is don't marry someone like that.

I wonder if older man and younger are related? It's depressing to hear such neanderthal shit in any case.

I remember many years ago when I was living alone, I was wheeling my trolley along in the supermarket when I overheard a couple talking. She was having to justify her desire to have a certain brand of cereal and he was so sneering, supercilious and plain nasty to her. I felt so blessed to be living alone, at that moment.

I mean the city was mobbed and it was different parts of the high street so probably not unfortunately.

I'm extra icked as I tried tinder the other week (I know i know, never a good idea) and a guy was like 'what kind of films do you like?' and I told him I love martial arts and he goes 'martial arts? So not romance and period dramas?'. This was a man in his late 20s too.

Have we gone back to the stone age with all these Neanderthal around? It reminds me of being a kid on the playground with how openly mysoginistic some of them are these days.

Never heard anything like that. Was a lovely Spanish man in Harrods asking for assistance “I have two sisters can someone help me” he was very respectful though.

I mean that could be a nice thing. At least he's trying.

But then again, you could argue - why would a total stranger know what his sisters would want more than him?

I mean maybe if it's circumstance related like how you might ask a teenage boy game store worker about what specific games teen boys might like for a teen boy relative. If there's an equivalent.

Or if they're asking the shop clerk more about the individual products so they can then choose the best fit for their sister themselves.

Could go either way that one.

Spanish Man in Harrods sounds like a Pulp song.🎵

It’s not like they’ve suddenly become his sisters. Presumably he’s known them his whole life. Not sure why someone in Harrods would know better than him…

The bookshop and Bodyshop idiots just sound nasty. Sometimes I think people just short circuit though. Years ago DH and I were out doing some Christmas shopping in a department store, had something specific we'd gone in for but decided to browse a bit since we were already there. We kept crossing paths with a dad and his young son. The dad went from "Let's see what we can find for Mummy for Christmas shall we?" to "There must be something in here" to "Right, these will have to do" as he went stomping past us towards the tills carring two baking trays 😶

We were genuinely scouring the local paper for the week after Christmas looking for the 'suspicious death: man found battered to death with baking tray' story...

Oh, they're just like that about women to each other. Just like women moan about them men over a bottomless Prosecco brunch.

My husband is told what I want. I often get it myself. Women should take control.

To be fair myself and my friends sometimes speak like that about our other halves so…

But why should we have to?
Why can't he ask what you like?

Often we take control because if we don't it doesn't get done. So it gets done and we think everything is fine but in reality, with some guys, if you didn't take control you'd get nothing.

We've become accustomed to doing it all. But that doesn't necessarily mean everything is ok.

In today’s things that never happened…

Why wouldn't they have happened?
I assure you, both happened. In the space if about an hour too.

To be honest I would often be heard to comment my DH should just stay in his shed and leave Christmas to the experts.

Yep. MY DH always spends more on me than anyone and buys all my gifts. Was apparently in a fairly nice store today and the assistant said she was doing a roaring trade as today it was just dad’s out shopping! Most men are lovely, loyal and caring… even if they can be insensitive pricks from time to time (supermarket shopping is a risky enterprise and IKEA nearly brought about a divorce…)

I know so many people who aren't at all respectful towards their partners. Women seem worse than men but they just might be more open towards me than men would be. Life is far too short to stay with someone you openly dislike.

My brother didn't have a clue what to get me once I hit my late teens as, to him, I'd become an entirely different species that wasn't purely motivated by superhero comics and movies.

He relied upon shop assistants (which meant I got extremely expensive perfume each year). He was much happier once I had children because he went back to finding the most irritating toys imaginable, as he had done when I was little, putting batteries in before wrapping them so that I'd be woken up by things like random train noises and on one occasion, cackling and giggling from some godawful clown toy being waved right in my face in the dark.

He hated using the phone (he was autistic and didn't talk much to adults or humans in general at the best of times) but he apparently ran to it to hear my ranting at him about what he'd done to me and kept on laughing to himself all afternoon.

I've always been fine about him asking for help. He cared enough to try - and to speak to strangers for my benefit.

Admit I’m biased on this one as DH is epic at presents. Really thoughtful incredible gift buyer far better than me. He gets our teen girls Christmas presents not me. So don’t really get these “men are crap” stereotypes.

Obviously what you heard was unpleasant, but given that Mumsnet is full of women saying equally rude things about their husbands and men in general, and joking about killing them and burying them under the patio etc, I don’t think this sort of unpleasantness is unique to men by any means.

My DP and the men in my immediate family have always been really good gift buyers. My DP can always choose things I’ll Iike, and if there’s an area of gift that’s outside his comfort zone (eg perfume or beauty, which he’s clueless about) he’ll ask me for some broad suggestions and he’ll pick something from those.

I understand what people are saying about both sexes moaning about the other. I think there’s a difference in some of the tone. Normally it’s a jokey tone on here when talking about burying someone under the patio.

I really do feel uncomfortable hearing men call women bitches is such nasty tones like they hate them. I’ve never encountered that violent anger from women. I’m sure it must exist in some cases. I walked past a guy a few weeks ago and overheard him say some explicitly violent things (“If she’d have looked at me again I’d have….”). It made me so uncomfortable.

This is exactly it.

The first guy sounded contemptious and the second guy like he was getting a sick pleasure out of belittling her and calling her a bitch. It wasn't just someone having a wee moan or a joke it was contempt and malignant joy.

And the fact they were both so comfortable saying it in crouded stores too.

Really? Is that how you justify a complete lack of fucks given and effort made for you? Cause that is sad