Mental health and pregnancy loss now pregnant

[Hotchocolateandmarsh]

We have tried a few times for a third child and this isn’t the timing I had planned. The age gap is a bit bigger than I anticipated but honestly im not excited. I’m so scared.

I’ve had a few traumatic experiences in pregnancy, mainly due to HG and loss.

We went for an early scan at EAPU and I was so scared I started being sick. There seems to be a fetus and heart beat. I don’t feel anything, I’m not excited or sad I’m numb. Maybe this wasn’t meant to be? Maybe we shouldn’t have ttc again. I feel like I should be happy but I’m not. I feel so alone. Does this mean I don’t want this pregnancy? I feel like it would be easier to loose the baby now than later?

I feel like my heads all over the place and all I want to do is cry

You are not happy because you are scared and don’t want to get excited. You are sad because you lost a previous pregnancy.

Take one day at a time.

That’s what the nurse said, my feels are normal and I just need to get to the next milestone and not focus on the journey

How are feeling today OP?

Maybe a bit better, I said last night I wish I could just wake up not pregnant but not miscarry just that it never happened.

I just don’t believe it will go well so waiting for it all to go wrong.

Spoke to my DH last night and he said it makes sense. I’m terrified, had lots of counselling to get to this point so I’m not having panic attacks.