Is it normal for colleagues to overshare this much or am I just out of practice socially?

[GirouxSein]

I started a new job a couple of months ago and I’m still getting used to everyone. People are generally friendly but a couple of colleagues keep telling me really personal stuff. I’m talking full details about their marriage issues, medical stuff, money problems, all within a few conversations.
I’m polite because I don’t want to come off cold but it honestly drains me and I don’t know how to set boundaries without sounding rude. I don’t mind the casual chat about weekend plans but this level feels a bit much.
Is this just how some workplaces are now？

They're over sharing. You're colleagues, not mates. Is anyone actually working?

Yeah, that’s how it feels to me too. It’s not that I don’t like them, I just don’t expect to be someone’s emotional sounding board at work. And yes, sometimes I do wonder how all this gets squeezed in alongside actually doing the job.

Some people overshare. It happens. Just look a bit vague, answer the phone mid-conversation or keep your eyes on your screen, make it clear you are busy.

They'll get the idea.

Yes it’s oversharing. You’re colleagues not a therapy group. A woman in my former job used to trauma dump and attention seek in the office and I too found it really draining. Sometimes I used to wear headphones and say I was busy, however I hated that office and didn’t care about seeming rude. As you’re brand new you might have to grey rock it a bit.

Ugh I have a colleague like this and it’s tough to manage because she has been having a difficult year with relationships and bereavements. But she just goes into far too much detail and makes it difficult to concentrate on the work we are supposed to be getting in with, which is to support vulnerable people.
So you have my solidarity but I haven’t yet managed to find a way to close it down.

Put on a really bored face and carry on with what you’re doing answering phone, typing, etc. How boring and inappropriate.

I think it is because of social media. Everyone thinks what they say and do is massively interesting because they see it on their feeds. People have no filter. You see people in hospital updating their feed. It is that type of mentality and it’s rife. SM has its place but it has produced millions of boring self obsessed people. You can bet your life the conversations are all one sided too, you are acting as a sponge for their info dump.

I have colleagues who I am quite close to and we would discuss a lot of personal stuff ..maybe not to the level of relationship problems though that’s too far I think. And we have all worked together for years so it’s different.

Couple of thoughts :
Are they lonely - people will often over share if they are lonely. Especially if they don't have good parental figures or friends to bounce how they feel off. You don't need to be over involved but do try to be kind.
People often over share when they are ND. Eg
How are you? Fine thanks
How are you? Ok, things could be better, but stressed this week but ....and it'll work out ok I'm sure. Do you want coffee? What are you doing this weekend?
Take it at face value.

Does this happen 121 or in a group? There’s a lot of oversharing going on in our staff room, because a lot of us have been friends (not just coworkers) for years. I guess it can be overwhelming and quite uncomfortable for someone new. Something to consider in the future.

Some workplaces are just like that. I’ve worked in a few places where the team had all worked together for years and were genuinely friends as well as colleagues.

I do find that MN can be a bit odd when it comes to workplace friendships - almost as though they’re not something to be trusted!

Yes, I have one who gives a running commentary on her health issues, weight loss/food habits and pets. Said colleague lives alone and doesn't have much family so I feel for her but I really don't care and I want to crack on with my work.

Another colleague is a massive oversharer, he once told me he had sex in the morning (explaining why he was late) and has also given explicit detail on his toilet habits. 🤢

Some people just natural over share
just nod in the right place and contribute nothing
there a few reasons
Lonely no friends
like to boast
thrive on drama
think people are genuinely interested in them

suppose it passes a slow day