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Original poster

What would I do here

17 replies

Catbrations · 21/12/2025 13:31

No big issue here as such. I go to my hairdresser a few times a year. He shared on his social that one of his parents passed. I replied to his story icing condolences. I don't know if he got that message because I didn't show in my messagner. I am not expecting a reply anyways. There is an online death notices and condolence book. I don't know if it's appropriate or not to write condolences on the online book because I don't know him personally or his family. He never shared the death notices on his work/hair socials. I don't know if it's appropriate. The notice is public and can be figured out based on names. I don't know if it's stalkerish.

What do you guys think?

OP posts:
Thesofathatwas · 21/12/2025 13:37

Overthinking it MASSIVELY!

Leave it there.

Original poster
Catbrations · 21/12/2025 22:46

Thesofathatwas · 21/12/2025 13:37

Overthinking it MASSIVELY!

Leave it there.

Thank you for your reply however it's very vague and I don't really understand it.

Do I leave it there as in just leave it at the message I sent replying to the social media story?

Or

Do I leave it on the online death notices and condolence page?

OP posts:
SparrowSally · 21/12/2025 22:53

Leave it as the message. You didn't know his parent, so I don't feel you should write anything further.

UxmalFan · 21/12/2025 23:53

You saw the notice and sent a message with condolences which was a nice thing to do. There's no need for anything more and it would be a bit weird given that you never met the man and are not close friends iwth his family.

ResusciAnnie · 21/12/2025 23:56

What would you do if another acquaintance of yours’ parent died? Do that. (For me that would mean saying ‘oh I’m sorry for your loss’ the next time I see them, if it comes up/feels appropriate).

Neveranynamesleft · 21/12/2025 23:58

Dont do anything.

Original poster
Catbrations · 22/12/2025 00:13

ResusciAnnie · 21/12/2025 23:56

What would you do if another acquaintance of yours’ parent died? Do that. (For me that would mean saying ‘oh I’m sorry for your loss’ the next time I see them, if it comes up/feels appropriate).

That's an interesting question. I suppose it would depend entirely on the acquaintance. If a met a person only once or twice, nothing. If I met the acquaintance more often, I would like sign an online condolence book.

A lady died earlier this year and it was over 20 years since I went to school with her sister but I signed the condolence book.

I think maybe last year and acquaintance I know and only meet once in a blue moon at work, her parent died and I didn't leave any condolences.

It would depend entirely on the acquaintance and how I know them.

OP posts:
Thesofathatwas · 22/12/2025 06:58

It’s not vague at all.

You are making a huge thing out of a non problem.

Do nothing, do not add anything anywhere, do not put messages on anything.

You do not know the person who has died, they are nothing at all whatsoever to do with you. It’s your hairdresser, not a family member or a close friend.
You should do absolutely nothing at all.

You sound very over the top and overly intense on this issue that does not even require a 2 second thought.

You asked a question, there’s your answer.

firstofallimadelight · 22/12/2025 07:04

You have done the appropriate thing, a comment on a sm post is entirely appropriate for this level of acquaintance

pilates · 22/12/2025 07:07

You don’t need to do anything more.

Move on.

DaisyChain505 · 22/12/2025 07:19

Your hairdresser isn’t going to spend one second thinking about if you personally sent him condolences or not. You’re way over thinking this.

Forever1973 · 22/12/2025 07:37

Is there a backstory here - do you have a huge crush on your hairdresser?

I can't for the life of me think why you're giving so much thought to this.

Original poster
Catbrations · 22/12/2025 17:34

Thesofathatwas · 22/12/2025 06:58

It’s not vague at all.

You are making a huge thing out of a non problem.

Do nothing, do not add anything anywhere, do not put messages on anything.

You do not know the person who has died, they are nothing at all whatsoever to do with you. It’s your hairdresser, not a family member or a close friend.
You should do absolutely nothing at all.

You sound very over the top and overly intense on this issue that does not even require a 2 second thought.

You asked a question, there’s your answer.

I asked a question and one of the earlier replies to my post asked me what would I do with another acquaintance. I explained that it's different every time.

Thank you for all of your replies by the way. I decided against based on a different reply saying that I didn't know him or his family personally.

OP posts:
Original poster
Catbrations · 22/12/2025 17:35

Forever1973 · 22/12/2025 07:37

Is there a backstory here - do you have a huge crush on your hairdresser?

I can't for the life of me think why you're giving so much thought to this.

There's no back story. I am in Ireland and there is somewhat of an obsession with the online death notices and condolences pages. Not from me but from a lot of people.

I was just wondering if leaving condolences would be appropriate or not.

OP posts:
Thesofathatwas · 22/12/2025 18:03

Ahh I did wonder if you were in Ireland as death is done very differently there!
Seriously wondered what on Earth you were going on about just because of the intensity of your reaction to it. But I see now, it makes perfect sense.

I still say do nothing. There’s likely to be hundreds of condolences so yours will be completely lost.

DramaAlpaca · 22/12/2025 18:08

You're in Ireland so it's different. It's perfectly OK and very normal to add your condolences on RIP.ie as an acquaintance. That's literally what it's there for. It's not stalkerish at all.

Forever1973 · 22/12/2025 18:33

Catbrations · 22/12/2025 17:35

There's no back story. I am in Ireland and there is somewhat of an obsession with the online death notices and condolences pages. Not from me but from a lot of people.

I was just wondering if leaving condolences would be appropriate or not.

Show quote history

Ah, I see - I'm not really familiar with the bereavement culture in Ireland. Thanks for enlightening me.

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