Hi this is my first post but have been around for years and I’ve alway found a good range of opinions on subjects I’ve relate to so here’s one I need help processing
I’ve been with my husband for 22 years and I love him. We are really quite happy
Every Xmas for the past 22 years he has insisted then assumed, after our son was born 17 years ago, that we would spend Xmas day with his parents and extended family.
If I suggested sharing one years mine one his I was refused or guilted into going to his side so for peace stopped suggesting otherwise ( I’m not normally this weak ) the resentment has built over the years and does rear its head as Xmas approaches. To be clear his family are lovely and we get along .
This year I put my foot down and said I would be for going Xmas day with my family at my sisters house. He said he and our son would still go to his side.
I’ve left it as that until last week when I felt really angry and hurt by this wrote down how I felt and asked how he would feel if reverse situation.
He responded with he fully understood and would feel the same and we would all go to my family this year.
I though he had genuinely had a light bulb moment and realised how unfair and selfish he had been over the years
FF to yesterday evening when he mentions that him and son would still be going to his family in the evening - so basically will be at my family for a few hours from 3pm…..
im really upset!
I know it’s pathetic and not important in the grand scheme of things but to me it is. I feel like he’s just half arsed tried to silence me and will never prioritise me over his family? I don’t necessarily want that to feel equal would be good
This issue is not going away and starts causing me upset from November time every year
Can anyone see my POV? Am I being unfair? Can I resolve the problem / resentment?