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Inwards focused people

2 replies

helenaSo · 20/12/2025 20:23

Do you know any people who are inwardly focused nearly all of the time, unless something really piques their attention? I was just wondering how common this is.

A family member (mid 50s) does this and also never answers a question in a straightforward manner. When I talk about something, they don’t seem to really listen but then, with lightning speed, focus on one particular word or aspect of what I said and respond in a slightly left-field way.

Another everyday example is that if a family pet is doing something sweet and I point it out, they might briefly say “yes, cute,” but then instantly move the topic on, even though I know they adore the pet. As if they are. unable to be in the moment and share it together.

They also don’t seem able to say anything that sounds genuine or mildly empathetic, for example if there is a health worry or there has been a death of a loved one. When they talk, they waffle a lot. It’s almost impossible to have an ordinary two-way conversation. I find this hurtful, confusing and frustrating.

OP posts:
helenaSo · 20/12/2025 20:37

These are just examples. The gist is that it is nearly impossible to have a normal dialogue about either everyday topics or big, important things. Conversations are often slightly off-beat. It’s as if they’re not able to follow and interpret what is being said and then respond in a straightforward manner.

When they do start talking, it can go on and on not excessively but a bit. They are also often thinking out loud, which can feel awkward because I don’t know how to respond. When recounting an experience or situation, they describe everything sequentially, with no editing to convey the key points, they simply relay all the details from beginning to end.

I’m just curious whether others experience this and I’d appreciate any tips on how to be patient while still keeping the conversation flowing and at least somewhat connected. It feels very, very disconnected.

OP posts:
smallglassbottle · 20/12/2025 21:13

Yes, both of them middle aged men. One of them always ends up monopolising the conversation and then brings it round to his experiences when he was in his 20s and the other can't answer a question in a straightforward way.

If they engage it has to be on their terms only. When I visit one of them, I don't bother talking generally, there's just no point.

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