Sorry! Another autistic spectrum one! But is it?!

[Refresssher]

We have a woman who has started 18m ago at my workplace. She got the job without interview as her mum who is my manager brought her in via an agency.

She keeps herself to herself and never speaks and she never asks for help or questions as I guess she doesn't need to as she has her mum.

However, she is beginning to really get on my nerves. She exhibits some behaviours that I don't think are appropriate in the workplace. However, at the same time, I'm wondering whether she is on the spectrum. Some examples are:

1. She checks our work and amends unnecessary things. She micromanages us and checks whether x,y,z have been done and where it's up to and whether we are struggling and need help.

1. If there are errors that she wants to communicate to us, she tells her mum who then tells us.

1. We have a new software program which is quite similar to our old one so it was a case of everyone just played about with it to familiarise and learn it yourself. She took it upon herself to point out to some colleagues how certain things should be done and to "make sure" you do it like this. There's no reason for it as you can do it several ways and you'd choose whatever you prefer.

1. When we go away on annual leave for a few days she will email you to check where x,y,z is up to and what's going on with a,b,c. There is no need for this as we are adults and we liaise with our other colleagues in the team. There is no need for her to ask as it's not her responsibility.

1. During busy periods /!staff absence when she can see we are struggling she never offers to help with the actual work which is piling up but will help in useless ways e.g non urgent technical drawings

1. She avoids and chooses not to do any customer service work - we don't have phones. It's all email based. See point 4 - this is the work she doesn't help with which is what we need help with.

1. She earwigs ALL the time but doesn't do it covertly. So will turn around and stare at you whilst you're having a conversation and only looks away when you catch her eye. She does this too much.

She doesn't talk to us and if she does it's only to check whether we've done x,y,z but all communication is done by email.

She is not senior to us and what she does day to to day we don't really know as she seems to be doing her mum's job and helping her. She can do our job too not seems to only pick and choose to do the "fun" technical tasks.

Is your question whether she’s autistic or not? Not really any of your business - whether she’s autistic or not, she is who she is.

Yes, it does like autism however if its causing a issue please just tell your manager, if shes her mother she can help (hopefully) nip her daughters behaviour in the bud.

Is her mum also her boss? If so, tell HR because that sounds like it shouldn’t be allowed

Sorry, I'm trying to understand her behaviour. I don't give a shit what she is but it might help me understand whether her behaviour might be due to her being autistic in which case I can be more accepting of it.

This is for another thread. Senior management don't want to know.

No-one here is going to be able to diagnose her for you.

And even if they did, you're able to accept her behaviour or you're not.

Most of it sounds like it can be ignored anyway, and the bits that can't, you can politely but firmly tell her to butt out.

I think as a first stop you need to bring some of this up gently with her - and have an ooo message when you are on leave stating when you will next check work email (on your first working day back).

Is this a case where she is out of the loop as she doesn’t talk to people (but you actually keep everyone else updated on the status of x y and z verbally) and do us just trying to get the same j go in her preferred way, or is she actually micromanaging (if you wouldn’t usually discuss x, y and z with others so she is asking for unprecedented insight into your work).

Yes, to be blunt x,y,z is nothing to do with her. My other colleagues pick it up like we always have. We liaise with each other, she doesn't need to ask this. It's not her job. We have never had to do this with our manager as we are adults and are responsible.

Yes, ignoring it is what we have done but my very tolerant and extremely patient colleague snapped the other day. She didn't say anything to her but had a vent with me. You can't just ignore poor behaviour.

Why do you need to know? Does it make a difference? Id be more concerned she literally got in through the back door and does fuck all except interfere. Keep letting her mum know when you need help

I don’t see what autism has to do with this or any signs that can’t be explained by another reason.

Perhaps for mum has asked her to step into this role. After all, she is her (and your) manager. If you are unhappy, you need to raise it with your manager and if still unhappy look at the next stage as per your complaints policy.

There is no law that stops her mum being her boss.

If you can't ignore it then I don't understand why you're asking whether MNetters might think she's autistic or not?

The end result is still the same.

You either need to raise it with her, raise it with management or put up with it.

No this is not autistic behaviour.
I would like to say the fact that you assumed that the inappropriate behaviour allowed by her mother is because of autism says more about your prejudice than it dose about this obnoxious young woman

You're right. Il excusing her behaviour as autism which is pretty rubbish of me..

But there isn’t anything to suggest she is autistic and even if she is, every single autistic person is as different as everyone else on the planet.

The issue is she thinks she is your manager, purely because her mum is. That’s why she is ‘overseeing’ you and not doing any of the actual work. Not sure how you solve it, but I don’t think it’s anything to do with any ND.