What would you advise? Teenage party

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DD13 has been invited to a classmate's party. She often misses things because she very committed to a club, and as it's on Friday and for once she doesn't have club, I said of course she could go. I asked for details and now she said she's not sure if she wants to go because it's fancy dress and the theme is "depression".

At the beginning of the year, the birthday girl was sending DD loads of vampire and manga-vampire videos to watch, which DD did not appreciate! She asked her to stop, she did and they're still friends, no drama.

DD clearly desperately doesn't want to be left out but at the same time is clearly worried about going to a party with this theme and I don't know what to expect or advise either. This is new territory for me!

(I don't know the parents, I've met the girl once and she seemed perfectly nice!)

I’d be suggesting she didn’t go. I think I’d say that she doesn’t have to do anything that she’s uncomfortable with, and she’s allowed to not go. Especially if it’s something like a party that’s entirely optional anyway. If she’s really not happy with simply saying no, a little white lie about a family event she has to attend is the way to go.

A party with the theme of “depression” is odd and slightly worrying tbh.

Depression theme is plain weird.

Teenagers are angsty little weirdos at times. They generally grow out of it. I’d let her go if she wants.
Could she just wear something dark (colour wise) so she doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb but she’s not actually dressed up?

That sounds an unhealthy friendship and an unenjoyable party.

I suggest you encourage your DD to distance herself and you take the blame for declining the invitation e.g. 'My mum said we have a family thing that evening so I can't come'.

And you need to speak to the parents before the event if your DD is going to go, you don't send a 13yo to an event titled 'depression' without checking if parents are there etc.

Sounds weird and unhealthy. Think I’d help Dd with a white lie that she has her club.

Let's not get all pearl-clutchy. This sounds distinctly like teenagers joking around with an "ironic" theme. Nobody's taking it that seriously, she just needs to wear black and lots of mascara.

Be glad she's friends with someone quirky and original and not just another mindless trend-obsessed idiot.

I've had serious depression myself, starting in my teens, and am absolutely 100% in favour of making fun of it.

Thing is, DD is not under the impression it's jokey and funny. I don't know the parents or have any way of contacting them.

I can't see any good coming out of this.