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Original poster

Stopping the flow of Christmas cards

43 replies

NainAGP · 17/12/2025 16:55

Does anyone have a polite but effective way of saying "please take me off your Christmas card list"? I don't do anything at Christmas any more, no meal or decorations at home etc. I haven't sent cards for many years and have told the senders this but they still send them. Seems such a waste, I don't display them and they're all from people I'm in touch with during the year.

OP posts:
hyggetyggedotorg · 17/12/2025 16:59

is receiving the cards upsetting for you? Or do you just feel it’s a waste of their time and effort?

Christmas is a sad time for lots of people, so if that’s your reason for not wanting them then you may need to be bluntly honest about that.

If you just feel it’s a waste of time, I’d deal with it in the way I deal with other unnecessary mail (political pamphlets, over 50s life assurance adverts etc) and pop them straight in the recycling.

Christmaseree · 17/12/2025 16:59

For neighbours i put a thing on our Facebook group a few years ago saying I’m not doing cards anymore. For others I stopped sending them and they are gradually reducing each year. So far this year all I have are four from DH’s siblings and one from the people who supplied our blinds.
Do you have facebook, if so you could make a post saying instead of writing cards you are donating to charity.

MyThreeWords · 17/12/2025 17:01

I stopped sending christmas cards a few years ago, because it just felt like crazy admin, rather than an expression of love or good wishes.

I have received steadily fewer since then (which I am glad of as they only make me feel guilty). Partly that will be because people have noticed that I haven't sent them a card. I hope they understand that I haven't singled them out for exclusion.

But it may also be partly that people in general are starting to find the exchange of cards a bit dated and pointless.

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Original poster
NainAGP · 17/12/2025 17:04

I always send out a message saying I'm donating to charity instead, but it doesn't seem to stop the flow.

OP posts:
Zov · 17/12/2025 17:08

Are you sending Christmas cards to them?

Can you not post something on Facebook gently asking people to not send cards, as you're not observing Christmas anymore?

@NainAGP · Today 17:04

I always send out a message saying I'm donating to charity instead, but it doesn't seem to stop the flow.

Oooooh, don't put that tedious line (that some people do,) that you're giving to charity instead.. Coz that is just super cringe! Confused No-one cares, and most people don't believe it!!

Why have you stopped Christmas? Can you say? Or is it a bit personal?

I have to say, if someone doesn't send me a Christmas card for 2-3 years on the trot, I won't send them one after that. I know you shouldn't give to receive blah blah blah, but there has to be a limit, I'm not continuing to send people cards who never send one back. They are clearly not arsed if they're not sending me one.

There are 10 homes in my little corner of the road (including me) and I have always sent Christmas cards to all 9 of the others.

2 of them for the last 2 and 3 Christmases have not sent a card back. So this year I have only posted cards through the letterboxes of 7 of them and have left the other 2 out. It felt a bit weird passing them and not putting cards through the letterbox, but they're obviously not bothered or they would have sent one back to me. And they can't complain. Again, they haven't bothered to send me and DH a Christmas card for the last 2 to 3 Christmases. They didn't even acknowledge the card or thank us.

Yes yes I DO keep a record of who sends one back. And I know some people 'couldn't get worked up about this...' Wink So shoot me!

.

boulevardofbrokendreamss · 17/12/2025 17:09

I send cards to two elderly relatives and they do to me. Apart from that I haven’t sent them for years.

Christmaseree · 17/12/2025 17:11

Zov · 17/12/2025 17:08

Are you sending Christmas cards to them?

Can you not post something on Facebook gently asking people to not send cards, as you're not observing Christmas anymore?

@NainAGP · Today 17:04

I always send out a message saying I'm donating to charity instead, but it doesn't seem to stop the flow.

Oooooh, don't put that tedious line (that some people do,) that you're giving to charity instead.. Coz that is just super cringe! Confused No-one cares, and most people don't believe it!!

Why have you stopped Christmas? Can you say? Or is it a bit personal?

I have to say, if someone doesn't send me a Christmas card for 2-3 years on the trot, I won't send them one after that. I know you shouldn't give to receive blah blah blah, but there has to be a limit, I'm not continuing to send people cards who never send one back. They are clearly not arsed if they're not sending me one.

There are 10 homes in my little corner of the road (including me) and I have always sent Christmas cards to all 9 of the others.

2 of them for the last 2 and 3 Christmases have not sent a card back. So this year I have only posted cards through the letterboxes of 7 of them and have left the other 2 out. It felt a bit weird passing them and not putting cards through the letterbox, but they're obviously not bothered or they would have sent one back to me. And they can't complain. Again, they haven't bothered to send me and DH a Christmas card for the last 2 to 3 Christmases. They didn't even acknowledge the card or thank us.

Yes yes I DO keep a record of who sends one back. And I know some people 'couldn't get worked up about this...' Wink So shoot me!

.

Edited

Those neighbours will be relieved you aren’t sending them one.

stressedstressed · 17/12/2025 17:11

I’d just recycle them.

Calliopespa · 17/12/2025 17:11

I guess make a list of the people you get them from and send a blind cc email to them all saying you would rather not receive them.

I'd do it well in advance of next Christmas, but not in the months just after they have made the effort of sending to you.

I think the only acceptable basis really is to say you worry about the sustainability aspects; I don't think you can very well say "I just can't be arsed and I hate feeling guilty if someone can."

Zov · 17/12/2025 17:14

Christmaseree · 17/12/2025 17:11

Those neighbours will be relieved you aren’t sending them one.

Show quote history

I do hope so. That is the plan. I doubt they will give a shit. As I said, they can't complain if they've not sent one for 2-3 years.

Daisy12Maisie · 17/12/2025 17:16

I have only received 1 card this year. I have sent two. One of those is to my uncle who lives a long way away. I don’t want to send or receive lots due to the cost of postage, the waste and just the effort.

Everleigh13 · 17/12/2025 17:16

Some people like to send Christmas cards. I would just accept it. One day they might stop. People have a right to send a Christmas card as much as you have a right not to send one (that’s how I look at it).

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 17/12/2025 17:27

Telling people that you're donating to charity instead of buying cards is only an explanation why YOU aren't sending cards, though. It doesn't clearly communicate that you don't want THEM to send you a card.

It sends a message that you are giving a replacement for their card to charity; not that you are actually sacrificially giving anything yourself. It's also often used an excuse by people who neither give cards nor make the promised donation to charity.

It's difficult to make it clear to people that you don't want their cards, as some will take offence. All you can really do is stop sending them out yourself and hope they eventually get the message and stop sending them to you; but as PP says, you might just have to accept that they will be received - even if you view them as effectively junk mail - and then quietly recycle them along with the takeaway leaflets and the local political fluff.

HewasH2O · 17/12/2025 17:28

It really doesn't matter why you say you haven't sent them a card. They want to send you a card, just because they do. It's really no different to receiving charity bags through the door or junk mail in the post. It makes the sender happy and you can't stop them. Drop the card straight into the bin if it makes you feel good, just don't tell them that that's what you do as it would be rude.

smallglassbottle · 17/12/2025 17:32

I'm a very minimal effort for Christmas person because I used to get stressed over it when I was younger. I do receive a couple of cards from people, but I just thank them and explain that I don't send cards and they're fine with it. I think a message with a few Christmas emojis is fine these days. It's still a Christmas greeting and what more could people want?

StationSquare · 17/12/2025 17:37

Have you specifically said don't send them or just that you are not sending? If someone asked me not to send them a card I wouldn't - if I remembered - but I don't give to receive so I still send cards to people who aren't sending them out.

MyThreeWords · 17/12/2025 17:48

Oh my goodness, @Zov ! This is my fear -- that people are keeping records of non-reciprocation!

I find it positively upsetting to get cards. The fear of giving offence by not sending a card myself is part of it. But it is also yet another hammering home of the message that exhausts so many women at this time of year -- the message that you are MEANT to be hyper-sociable, hyper-organised, enjoying the whole insane flurry of busywork that Christmas generates.

I hate it more and more every year. Hopefully we have expanded the tasks of Christmas so much in recent years that, like a balloon that has been inflated too far, it will explode and shrivel. Shrivel down to something that is actually pleasant.

Christmaseree · 17/12/2025 17:52

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 17/12/2025 17:27

Telling people that you're donating to charity instead of buying cards is only an explanation why YOU aren't sending cards, though. It doesn't clearly communicate that you don't want THEM to send you a card.

It sends a message that you are giving a replacement for their card to charity; not that you are actually sacrificially giving anything yourself. It's also often used an excuse by people who neither give cards nor make the promised donation to charity.

It's difficult to make it clear to people that you don't want their cards, as some will take offence. All you can really do is stop sending them out yourself and hope they eventually get the message and stop sending them to you; but as PP says, you might just have to accept that they will be received - even if you view them as effectively junk mail - and then quietly recycle them along with the takeaway leaflets and the local political fluff.

I think that people can understand it means they don’t want to be involved with cards anymore. It worked with my neighbours anyway, I didn’t get any that year or since and I haven’t sent any to them.

HonoriaBulstrode · 17/12/2025 17:56

I think a message with a few Christmas emojis is fine these days. It's still a Christmas greeting and what more could people want?

I like to display the cards I receive. I don't do a tree or decorations, so my cards are what gives a festive touch. And I can see them at all times, instead of having to pick up a device and open the message.

Justputsomeyoghurtonit · 17/12/2025 18:02

I stopped bothering during covid. And this year I haven't had a single card! Result!

But as you are already not sending them, I'd do what pp says and put them straight in the bin.

Leo800 · 17/12/2025 18:03

Surely you just bin them. Why cause any drama? It seems so attention seeking to announce you don’t do Christmas anymore.

CoastalCalm · 17/12/2025 18:04

I just send to close family and in response to about half a dozen elderly friends of my mum who still insist on sending them - I respect that they like sending and receiving but haven’t space to display many at home

AgnesX · 17/12/2025 18:10

We have a grand total of 4 so far. Some of my senders have died in recent years, I've also changed workplaces and teams and people generally dont seem to these days.

Your senders will probably fizzle out too (although preferably without shuffling off their mortal coil)!

Mikart · 17/12/2025 18:21

I only got 1 last year, from a religious cousin. Every one else listened

Topseyt123 · 17/12/2025 18:23

I wouldn't bother saying anything as I would be worried about how it would come across. Just put them in the recycling.

I stopped sending Christmas cards probably about 10 years ago and we now hardly receive any. To date this year we have a grand total of 3. One of those came today from a neighbour who hand delivers. I anticipate that there will be two or three more of those and I do write some to them.

That's it though. Any I have received I display until just after Christmas, then I shove them into the recycling along with the wrapping paper.