I cleared out late DH's things today.

[Flowerslamp]

He died nearly 5 years ago. I'd put it off because when I originally started soon after his death, adult DC said no to everything I offered them, which made me think maybe it was too soon and they'd regret it if I threw everytning away.

I'd also been worried there might be secrets I didn't want to know.

We went through it together. Both DC took some of his outdoor gear and a jumper each.

I found a dear Wife Christmas card he never got to give me 😪 and a cigarette lighter in his work jacket pocket. He was supposed to have given up smoking years before, I often had my suspicions but the managed to convince me I was imagining the smell...

@Flowerslamp sorry for your loss. It must have been difficult to sort his stuff out x 🫂💐

its so hard clearing a loved one's items. I have done it several times with parents and parents-in-law. The timing can be difficult but it sounds like you did the right thing and it was the right time too for DC. sending you hugs and wishes for a peaceful Christmas and New Year.

Just sending good thoughts your way.
It can be a very difficult thing to do, and it is up to the individual as to their timescale.
I've finally cleared almost all of late-DH things, he died nearly 9 years ago.

That must have been tough for you. Probably good that you waited though as maybe slightly less raw to see the card and lighter now.
Hope your life is good all these years later 🙂

It's so sad isn't it OP?

I found the hardest thing to get rid of was my DH's jumper that he generally wore round the house . He died very suddenly one day on his way to work and this jumper smelt of him. In the weeks after he died I used to have it next to me on the pillow.

It's 20 years ago now that he died but I still have a small drawer with some of his possessions in it which will be passed on to my son. Not valuable, apart from sentimentally.

I'm so sorry 😞 Perhaps you found some things that brought back happy memories (that if you'd done them earlier would have been too much to cope with?) 💐