Feeling guilty for enjoying time alone

[ManoharDash]

Just wondering if this is normal or if it’s just me. Lately I’ve realised I really enjoy having time to myself. When the kids are at school and the house is quiet, I feel calmer and more like myself. But then I get this horrible guilt, like I should be using that time to be more productive or thinking about them.
I do love my kids and I enjoy being with them, but I also really value those quiet hours where no one needs anything from me. Sometimes I even look forward to them more than I probably should, and that makes me feel like a bad mum.
Is it normal to feel this way? Do other parents feel torn between needing space and feeling guilty for taking it? I can’t be the only one.

I don’t feel torn at all. I enjoy time to myself, I like the space to do nothing in silence. It wouldn’t occur to me to feel guilty about it and I’m not quite sure why you would.

You’re not an appliance, you’re not required to be productive or of service to someone 24/7 and loving your kids doesn’t mean you want to spend every moment with them. I certainly don’t.

Why would you feel guilty?

Time alone is essential and good for your mental health.

It'll make you a better mum in the long run.

We all need alone time.

Completely normal, honestly. I think a lot of us only realise how much noise and demand we’re carrying once it goes quiet for a bit. Enjoying that space doesn’t mean you love your kids any less, it just means you’re a human who needs breathing room.
I used to feel guilty too, but I’ve started seeing that quiet time as what lets me show up better when they are around. Wanting a bit of peace doesn’t make you a bad mum — it usually means you’re a tired one.

I think this is completely normal honestly. Having time alone does not mean you love your kids any less. It just means you are human. I feel exactly the same when the house is quiet and no one needs me for a bit. It helps me reset and feel more patient later. I used to feel guilty too but I try to remind myself that being calmer and happier actually makes me a better mum. You are definitely not alone in this and it does not make you a bad mum at all.

This sounds completely normal to me. Enjoying quiet time doesn’t mean you love your kids any less, it just means you’re a human who needs a bit of space to breathe. I think a lot of us feel calmer and more ourselves when no one is asking for anything for a while, especially if most of our day is spent meeting other people’s needs.
The guilt bit feels very familiar too. There’s so much pressure to always be productive or to make every spare minute about the kids, but actually having time to yourself can make you a better parent overall. You’re more patient and more present when they are around.
Looking forward to that quiet doesn’t make you a bad mum at all. It just means you know what helps you recharge. I’d say it’s far healthier to enjoy those hours than to resent everything because you never get a break. You’re definitely not the only one feeling like this.

Good

NGL on more than one occasion I’ve found I’ve literally got back off school run flopped on the chair, and not moved for several hours.

sometimes being still and silent and minimal was enough. Just being.