Anyone else finding life a bit easier now the kids are a bit older?

[dongbibi]

I was talking to another mum at pick-up and we both laughed about how different things feel compared to a few years ago. Don’t get me wrong, there are still plenty of challenges, but day to day life just feels a bit more manageable now.
The kids can actually tell me what’s wrong, get themselves dressed, and even help out a bit without it turning into a negotiation. I’m not constantly on edge anymore, and I’ve noticed I have more patience and energy than I used to.
It’s made me realise how far we’ve all come, even if it didn’t feel like progress at the time. Curious if anyone else has hit this stage and felt that quiet sense of relief, like you’re finally getting your head above water again.

The primary school years are the golden years imo.

They sleep, they toilet independently, feed themselves, can tell you what they want/need, you're past buggies and baby equipment, they can join in properly with stuff, entertain themselves...

But they're still sweet and loving, they still want to spend time with you, you know where they are at all times and aren't worrying about drinking/drugs/social media/sex/driving.

It has to be, on average, the easiest time for parenting.

Yes, definitely. I remember when everything felt relentless and there was no real breathing space, so I really relate to what you’re saying. Once they can communicate properly and do a few things for themselves, it makes such a difference to the general mood of the house.
It’s not that it’s suddenly easy, but it does feel more manageable, like you’re not constantly firefighting. I think you only realise how intense those earlier years were once you’re a bit past them.

Agree 100%. My youngest is 12 now. I go for walks when I want or grocery shop or go meet friends. I'm feeling more myself and positive than I have in years. (Not right now, awake stressing over Christmas stuff). Everyone tells you the older years are harder because you worry more but that's very subjective. I'm not a worrier over things I can't control and trust older DC when out late at night. I'm really looking forward now for the first time in 18 years. Life is good

Yes!! When my kids turned 4&6 I suddenly realised how much easier life was.

Anyway, I now have a 3 week old baby so back to square 1!!

Dd is 14 so it's even easier now. She can be home alone, sorts her own social life out and generally gets on with things independently. She just wants us for food, lifts and moaning to. My career is back on track and it's great!

Yes! Dd is 6 and it’s been easy for about 18 months

Yeah, my youngest, at 8 now, has learnt how to wipe her own bottom, she would make me do it and I'd say, do it yourself then she would say. I can but I don't want to, I told you a thousand times.

Yes, DS is 13 which seems to be the sweet spot. He can be left alone, prepare basic meals like sandwiches for himself ( nothing too complicated while being left alone), mostly gets himself to where he wants to be, but not yet interested in drinking/drugs/sex/ other worrying stuff teenagers do.
DD at 10 isn’t that independent, but miles better than the toddler years.

I found the early teenage years the easiest so far - I'll let you know how the rest of it goes in 5 years!

From 5-12 was a doddle. Then teenage hormones made 13 incredibly difficult . Calmed down again at 14/15 and praying it stays that way as I need some time for my brain to recharge from the mental load

No. Mine are teens and far harder than e.g. toddlerhood, which I really enjoyed.

Edit for spelling

Not all teenagers are a nightmare.

I think all kids have a tough phase, for some it’s in their teens but most teens are lovely/ reasonable.

My two were more difficult when they were younger.

I think late teens/early adulthood is the most worrying time so enjoy the peace while you can. Teenagers don't have to be difficult to be a worry. I found when they start going to parties, clubs, festivals, staying out to the early hours etc (all normal behaviour) the hardest part of parenting.

I’ve found parenting to just get progressively easier thus far. Even now with teens I find it easier than the demands of primary school. It’s more worrying; worrying about exams, friendship groups, the future etc, but in terms of day to day care and general juggling and energy levels it’s so much easier. And fun, I’ve really enjoyed this stage. They’re independent, help out, and my teenagers aren’t arseholes so there’s that too.

Once my youngest got to three and a half I found it so much easier.
Mine are in their 20’s and 30’s now.

I agree.

Late teens and early 20s are the worst, most stressful parenting times. My two are absolutely lovely and there are no real issues as such but I just worry about them constantly. And then you have them staying up all night, making noise, cooking at all hours, the mess, the chaos.

I can see that coming to be fair.

I have been very lucky in that my son (an only) has never caused me a days stress (fingers crossed!).

He's 15 now and it’s my favourite ‘age’! He’s sociably sensible, outgoing and kind! He takes himself off to the gym, the three of us have season tickets for our football club and he’s a joy to holiday with/eat out with etc. He’s a good kid at school with plenty of good, nice mates. He spends time in his room but is happy to sit with us on a night. The freedom is of course there which isn’t when they’re younger and it’s just easier now.

Being able to leave them alone in the house was the biggest single game-changer we've had. No more childcare, no more babysitters, go our whenever you want without them. Mine were fairly easy teenagers but driving practice has really tested me.

I find them harder the older they get. As little ones you can choose everything for them, pick them up, get on with things. As they get older they have their own opinions, wants and needs. They ask for stuff all the time, answer back, bicker, change their minds, make a mess... I felt much more in control when they were little.