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Original poster

Rejected from a job and feel so down

25 replies

Teamsaction · 16/12/2025 13:52

I have two lovely children, a DH and a dog. Everything 10years ago I would have dreamed of. However I have been having mental health problems and feel I can no longer do my current role. I've been applying for jobs for 6mnths and in that only had 4 interviews and just found out I haven't got the last job. I really wanted it, but more than that I really wanted to hand my notice in. Feel so down today just eaten a whole chocolate orange and now feel guilty not done any cleaning or things I was meant to do today. I can't hand in my notice without a job as need to earn for my share of the mortgage bills etc.

OP posts:
LittleBanana · 16/12/2025 13:56

I know it doesn't make it feel better in the moment, but it's genuinely not you. The job market at the minute is atrocious so to get 4 interviews in 6 months is amazing.

Keep persevering and you will end up where you are supposed to be. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family and it helps you reset a little.

Purplecatshopaholic · 16/12/2025 13:57

Aww, I know how you feel it’s shit isn’t it. I just got a job knock back this week too 😞. I decided I’m taking a break from job hunting until the NY and focusing on nice stuff before I go down a MH spiral. No harm in having a Wallow Day occasionally too op. Be kind to yourself, and then get back out there after Christmas?

needapokerface · 16/12/2025 13:57

Sorry you didn't get the job, but there will be another one that is just perfect for you.

Set a timer on your phone for 30 mins, crank your favourite music up and clean one area for those 30 mins whilst dancing or singing to the music.

If you manage to clean one area and are still hyped up, set the timer and do another 30 mins and another area.

Don't dwell on eating the choc orange that is in the past just focus on what is in front of you and don't look back.

The choc orange was a treat for not getting the job but please don't focus on that.

Also have you spoke to your doctor about how down you are feeling, they might advise some talking therapy for you or some anti-depressants, that may or may not help.

Crinkle77 · 16/12/2025 14:00

Did they give you any feedback? If not it's worth asking. And sod the housework today.

Original poster
Teamsaction · 16/12/2025 14:04

Thanks you all. I have now turned off the TV and am determined to hoover at least before school run.
I have spoken to my GP and has some CBT, just not very good at continuing with it. My resilience is pretty low so set backs effective me more than they should. Thank you for all your kind words.
Had a look for further jobs and depressingly none so maybe taking a break till the new year would also be a good idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
Teamsaction · 16/12/2025 14:06

@Crinkle77 yes just someone more suitable which is what all the interview feedback has been really. Depressing as I really felt I could have done it well.
The issue is I'm trying to move career types so guess there will always be someone more experienced

OP posts:
Lookingforthejoy · 16/12/2025 14:11

You weren’t rejected, you just weren’t chosen. I’ve seen people been chosen because they have a particular personality so they think they can handle the odd members of the team. It’s not a reflection on how good or bad the other candidates may have been at the job.

Do you have headphones so you can listen to a podcast or music while you hoover?

Original poster
Teamsaction · 16/12/2025 14:42

Thanks @Lookingforthejoy that a good way of putting it but still dreading tomorrow at my current job, I know I just keep going.
Never thought of listening to anything while hoovering my Hoover's so loud can you hear anything?

OP posts:
Lookingforthejoy · 16/12/2025 14:43

Teamsaction · 16/12/2025 14:42

Thanks @Lookingforthejoy that a good way of putting it but still dreading tomorrow at my current job, I know I just keep going.
Never thought of listening to anything while hoovering my Hoover's so loud can you hear anything?

You need to wear phones turned up loud. It’s the only way I do housework now.

MrsChristmasHasResigned · 16/12/2025 20:27

One way to build resilience is by being kind to yourself. There are reasons why we are able to be critical or hard on ourselves but most of the time these days its more of an unhelpful habit. The problem is, the more you listen to it, the more you believe it, the more true it feels. You are doing amazing the get interviews. Sometimes when you go in, there is someone who just does better on the day, or may already be working there. Its not a personal statement about you and your value, worth and future - its just work. Some days we need a chocolate orange. And dont feel like hoovering. Its all ok. Building in small goals each day can help, but you might also benefit from looking at stuff online about cultivating self compassion. I hope you feel better soon.

ScottishFi · 16/12/2025 23:38

We have a saying in Scotland "What's for you won't go by you" - in other words you didn't get it because it's not your path and there is something better out there for you. Doesn't feel like it now but keep the faith. You are determined and committed...it will happen. Wish you all the best

Original poster
Teamsaction · 17/12/2025 03:42

MrsChristmasHasResigned · 16/12/2025 20:27

One way to build resilience is by being kind to yourself. There are reasons why we are able to be critical or hard on ourselves but most of the time these days its more of an unhelpful habit. The problem is, the more you listen to it, the more you believe it, the more true it feels. You are doing amazing the get interviews. Sometimes when you go in, there is someone who just does better on the day, or may already be working there. Its not a personal statement about you and your value, worth and future - its just work. Some days we need a chocolate orange. And dont feel like hoovering. Its all ok. Building in small goals each day can help, but you might also benefit from looking at stuff online about cultivating self compassion. I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks for your reply. In my CBT I tried working on my inner voice it's always been there and I've always listened to it. It has even been helpful in my current career in some respects,

In the past 5years it's all just got too much and I've had counselling and CBT but feel my job/career is a main driver.

It was actually more hours and less money so keep trying to remind myself of that and it just wasn't meant to be.

OP posts:
SlapTheButcher · 17/12/2025 05:18

Oh, I am so sorry. Just wanted to offer some solidarity, as I'm in the same situation. I've had a few interviews this year. I got a rejection email yesterday for a job I REALLY, REALLY wanted. It was perfect in terms of hours, salary, loved the company, but they chose somebody else and I came a very, very close second.

To say I am absolutely gutted is an understatement and I am spiralling. I cried all evening and am awake at nearly 5am dreading going into the job I hate and have felt completely stuck in for ages. It doesn't help that the job market is terrible, and with it being Christmas, there are fewer roles being advertised.

Like you and the chocolate orange, I ended up eating too many biscuits and have totally ignored cleaning I have to do.

I, too, struggle with my mental health and I'm worried about how this setback will affect me. This isn't to highjack your thread, but wanted to let you know you are not alone in how you are feeling. It's just soul-destroying isn't it?

We just have to keep going and be kind to ourselves. We have tried our best and that's all we can ever do.

As a previous poster mentioned, podcasts can be an effective way of distracting your mind from spiralling thoughts.

Try and find joy in the little things, even it's just a comforting cup of tea or a walk. The sting of not getting this job will fade and it won't always feel this bad. Give yourself a break over Christmas and give yourself lots of self care. Hopefully, the new year will bring more job opportunities and one of them will be yours.

It's hard to keep going in this job market. I have done so many applications and it has never taken me this long to find a job. Weirdly, I take some comfort in that it's really, really tough out there in this job market, so getting interviews means we must be doing something right.

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 17/12/2025 05:53

Lookingforthejoy · 16/12/2025 14:43

You need to wear phones turned up loud. It’s the only way I do housework now.

Show quote history

That will damage your ears and probably give you tinnitus.

Lookingforthejoy · 17/12/2025 06:37

MustTryHarderAndHarder · 17/12/2025 05:53

That will damage your ears and probably give you tinnitus.

Show quote history

I don’t do that much hoovering!

PloddingAlong21 · 17/12/2025 06:39

4 interviews in 6 months, AND in a different field is actually fantastic. Well done for that. The jobs market for all industries right now is brutal.

I am the opposite and am very resilient to the point I don’t know when to stop or change course sometimes, to my own detriment.

Tackle things in chunks (like some have suggested with house work) with your job. Don’t think of things in huge tasks/projects, but break it down mentally into small tasks and targets you need to hit each down rather than across the week. It will feel less over whelming and you’ll subconsciously celebrate the mini wins. If you don’t achieve your targets that day, accept it and write it off at the end of the day. You can’t worry about what you can’t change. I always tell myself to control the cobtrollables, everything else is just happening to you anyway, so you simply control your reaction to it.

Keep at it OP - you’ll get there.

Original poster
Teamsaction · 17/12/2025 07:29

SlapTheButcher · 17/12/2025 05:18

Oh, I am so sorry. Just wanted to offer some solidarity, as I'm in the same situation. I've had a few interviews this year. I got a rejection email yesterday for a job I REALLY, REALLY wanted. It was perfect in terms of hours, salary, loved the company, but they chose somebody else and I came a very, very close second.

To say I am absolutely gutted is an understatement and I am spiralling. I cried all evening and am awake at nearly 5am dreading going into the job I hate and have felt completely stuck in for ages. It doesn't help that the job market is terrible, and with it being Christmas, there are fewer roles being advertised.

Like you and the chocolate orange, I ended up eating too many biscuits and have totally ignored cleaning I have to do.

I, too, struggle with my mental health and I'm worried about how this setback will affect me. This isn't to highjack your thread, but wanted to let you know you are not alone in how you are feeling. It's just soul-destroying isn't it?

We just have to keep going and be kind to ourselves. We have tried our best and that's all we can ever do.

As a previous poster mentioned, podcasts can be an effective way of distracting your mind from spiralling thoughts.

Try and find joy in the little things, even it's just a comforting cup of tea or a walk. The sting of not getting this job will fade and it won't always feel this bad. Give yourself a break over Christmas and give yourself lots of self care. Hopefully, the new year will bring more job opportunities and one of them will be yours.

It's hard to keep going in this job market. I have done so many applications and it has never taken me this long to find a job. Weirdly, I take some comfort in that it's really, really tough out there in this job market, so getting interviews means we must be doing something right.

@SlapTheButcher Sorry you are in the same situation and hope you managed to get some sleep and work is ok today. The universe had other plans for us as pp have said. Good luck in your future job search.

OP posts:
Brendathebear · 17/12/2025 07:47

Aw, it really isnt you. I really do think its the job market atm.

Ive been really lucky and always been shortlisted and successful at interview for every job I have applied for.

However, i did even get shortlisted for 2 jobs a couple of weeks ago and I interviewed for a side step job last week. The best interview Ive ever done, I was really prepared, I was relaxed, Ive even won national awards for this type of work.

I didnt get it!!

Well done for getting those interviews x

Assssofspades · 17/12/2025 08:15

I was you 7 months ago, I was absolutely devastated, I was stuck in a terrible job, it had been an awful year for various reasons, I was in the pits. 6 months later I'm 3 months into a brilliant job with fantastic colleagues, I have no dread going to work, so happy it turned out like it did! (And I didn't think I'd find another opportunity as good as the one I didn't get!)

vickylou78 · 17/12/2025 11:10

How old are you Op? Have you considered that you may be peri-menopausal? Hormone fluctuations can have massive impact on mental health, sleep, brain fog, anxiety etc. worth seeing your GP and seeing if HRT may help as may be that you can continue with your current job as it's just your hormones impacting on you. GRT can work wonders!

Original poster
Teamsaction · 17/12/2025 13:53

Thanks @vickylou78 I had wondered this but no other symptoms. Tbh think I just can't manage stress of kids with a stressful job and being someone who blames herself for everything. feels a lot of responsibility!

OP posts:
vickylou78 · 17/12/2025 16:15

Teamsaction · 17/12/2025 13:53

Thanks @vickylou78 I had wondered this but no other symptoms. Tbh think I just can't manage stress of kids with a stressful job and being someone who blames herself for everything. feels a lot of responsibility!

Definitely look into it as peri-menopause can really knock your confidence and you may find that you can cope if you did have hormonal symptoms and anxiety caused by hormonal drops. But if it is your job is causing you stress definitely keep looking for something less stressful!

Redburnett · 17/12/2025 16:22

Try not to take it personally. Just focus on getting through each day/hour etc and know that one day it will end. And if you can try and find something from each working day that isn't negative, to try and help keep spirits up.

MrsChristmasHasResigned · 17/12/2025 20:58

Teamsaction · 17/12/2025 03:42

Thanks for your reply. In my CBT I tried working on my inner voice it's always been there and I've always listened to it. It has even been helpful in my current career in some respects,

In the past 5years it's all just got too much and I've had counselling and CBT but feel my job/career is a main driver.

It was actually more hours and less money so keep trying to remind myself of that and it just wasn't meant to be.

Show quote history

You are welcome @Teamsaction. We all have an inner critic and we are used to thinking of it as a wise inner advisor - but often it is overdeveloped as a result of earlier experiences and is more like a bully. But imagining you have an inner bully is not a nice image, so I tend to imagine it as a friend who is a complete downer - who wants to help but gets it all wrong. I thank her for trying to help me, then tell her I dont need her help right now. And I imagine walking her to a lovely spot inside my mind where she can sit and relax, so I can get on with my day. Works for me.

Strawberrymoonx · 19/12/2025 15:39

I’m in the same position. I’ve been a sahm for 4 years and am trying to get back into a role I haven’t done for 8 years and I’m struggling. Had about 4 interviews and I get rejected with the excuse of someone had more experience than me but then they knew that at the point of the cv. I know how it feels I’ve been feeling the same

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