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It’s different now we have dc

3 replies

noyoucantbefriends · 15/12/2025 16:45

Dh has a good friend (from childhood) and she really gets on my nerves . She’s constantly wanting to meet up. The other day he was acting off so I checked his phone and read the messages . They’d had a disagreement which had obviously upset him. She was trying to persuade him to go out for drinks at the weekend and Xmas eve ! He had declined but invited her here instead and she just sent loads of sad face type emojis. He had got upset asking her why she isn’t bothered about seeing the dc when they always talked about how one day they’d be there for each others dc etc. She had then just ignored him.

I spoke to him and said I’d checked as I actually worried they may be having an affair, he laughed ??!! He said that she had made it very clear when they were teenagers that she had no interest and more and more over the years he’s felt like she takes him for granted and he’s just convenient when she needs something. He was clearly hurt that she never liked him in the same way. He’s now hurt because she isn’t interested in the dc and doesn’t want to come here to see us. That she told him recently when they went for coffee that it’s different now he has dc and he’s not there for her as much and that he needs to make an effort. He’s was visibly tearful and said he feels he’s lost his oldest friend.

I feel like I want to say something to her as she’s really hurt him? But it’s not my place to get involved ?

OP posts:
LaneyC1995 · 15/12/2025 17:14

This lady sounds extremely high maintenance.

noyoucantbefriends · 15/12/2025 17:23

LaneyC1995 · 15/12/2025 17:14

This lady sounds extremely high maintenance.

She is and I feel there’s a really unhealthy dynamic as if she uses dh to be honest.

OP posts:
Sillysoggyspaniel · 16/12/2025 13:40

It is different once you have kids though. Coming over to try and chat while the kids are up Vs going out for Xmas drinks is not even in the same ball park. He no longer wants to/can do the activities they used to. She wants to do them and is sad they can't. The friendship has changed and won't be the same again so it's normal that they are both sad about it.

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