Sad I’ll never live a normal life due to being trapped by low income

[throwaway3]

Not really sure what the point of this thread is just feeling bit sorry for myself

I feel like I did the ‘right’ things but I’ve still never been able to get a job with prospects.

I’m trapped by low pay and I won’t have freedom or choices in life because of it. I won’t be able to start a family, I’ve come to terms with being child free but I’m still resentful the choice is taken away due to low income. I barely save much but feel lucky it’s something (£100 a month). I’m just so tired of surviving but not getting to enjoy life. I’m not expecting much, earning 40k would feel huge to me

I went to university, did an industrial placement because I heard it was hard for graduates to land first job, got a 2.1 because thought it increased chances too. I attended one of those women in tech bootcamp courses on the side during my second year to upskill and put more employable skills on my CV.
I had already heard how there are too many graduates so I tried a few things to further increase my chances but it wasn’t enough.

Attended all of the career events held by my university, network events held by companies, attended ‘summer school’ with JPMorgan for neurodivergent students, as well as many 1to1 appointments with uni career advisors.

I was the most sensible out of my uni friends and never had a crazy party era because my main goal for attending university was to get a better job. I wish I had let loose more tbh

I was the only one out of my friendship group (we are from working class town) to move to a big city for better job opportunities.

I constantly read free career tips seen on LinkedIn, Mumsnet, Reddit, Articles.

Still I’m trapped by low pay and I feel as if society thinks people like me are here because we’re lazy, don’t try hard enough (always had good performance reviews)

I don’t think there’s enough ‘good’ jobs for everyone. I’ve lost count but wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve made 600 job applications this year

& people presume if you do a low paid job it’s naturally less stressful which just isn’t the case. I have rota shifts at my current role, and many days work 9 - 7. Also workload can be very high too.
Most of the people who do my job didn’t bother going to university either, so I feel even more embarrassed of my wasted efforts

@throwaway3 A university degree is a great achievement and never a wasted effort, to educate yourself and train your mind in critical thinking.

How old are you? What's your field of expertise? (not necessarily your current job). What type of jobs are you applying for so frequently?

What's your dream job? What's your dream place to live (maybe another town or country)?

My advice isn't money related as such. I am one of those low income people you mentioned. Always have been. My advice is to not let it define you. I don't relate to your post at all. And that is not because my life is charmed, it's very far from it! My life is about making the most of what you do have and shifting your mindset.

You have a job, that's good. A great many diagnosed ND people aren't in work at all, because they can't. So you're doing better than some. A job does offer you some freedom. It gives a reference and shows both work experience and a willingness to work, all of this helps you find another job (not necessarily a better paid job) if you want a change. It means you can live in whatever area you choose, although obviously you won't be living in the best part of town on a low wage. But with the ability to work comes the freedom to take a job wherever you like. It means landlords will be happier to rent to you than if you were on benefits. So in that way having a job helps with housing, even if you still are looking for cheaper housing all the time.

You probably need some new friends, it sounds like you're hanging out with your old university friends and whilst there's nothing wrong with staying in touch, your life hasn't gone in the direction theirs has. You won't feel that snobbishness or sense of "you've got it easy" if you're hanging out with people in the same situation as you.

There's a great many hobbies and interests in this world and many of them are free or cheap. Get yourself something to do on your downtime, it'll bring you in contact with more people (potential friends), bring pleasure to your life and help you to relax after work. It'll also help you to be you. You are not your job. That's just what you do to pay the bills. "You", the real "you", exists before/after work and on your days off. Learn to be yourself during this time, indulge your hobbies and interests. Don't be all "work/eat/sleep/repeat", that's the road to misery.

Having £100/month to save is awesome. Use your emergency fund for true emergencies only and stay out of debt. Debt is the biggest spanner in the works that you can ever give yourself as a poorer person.

A mortgage is the only acceptable form of debt, IMO. Maybe you'll never have one, it also means you won't have to be responsible for repairs and potentially get ripped off by dodgy tradespeople. Silver linings and all that.

If becoming a homeowner is on your radar, don't be looking at Rightmove and getting depressed that you can't afford it. Think sideways, look at auctions, cheaper areas of the country and whatever other options may present themselves if you go looking around. Learn trades in your spare time so you can do repairs yourself as much as possible. If nothing else at least read library books and watch YouTube so you can hopefully diagnose the problem, even if you can't fix it, that alone can help you not to get ripped off.

Embrace minimalism and frugal living as a choice, instead of spending frivolously then having poverty thrust upon you when a disaster of an unexpected expense crops up. It doesn't have to feel like denying yourself, reframe it as freedom of choices for the future. It's easier to move home with less stuff anyway, which you'll be doing now and then as a renter. Hiring a van and enlisting friends to help you load up and unload minimal possessions beats paying hundreds for a removals firm to do it.

You are where you are. You can either look at it and be miserable or make the best of it. Why be embarrassed at going to university? You achieved it. You also don't have to tell people about it if you think you'll fit in better with your peers if you keep that private. Make your home as nice as can be. Second hand goods are fine, clean and tidy is adequate, get some plants and put up some photos, whatever it takes to make it yours. Get yourself a life, including some social contact even if you only see the people at the group or whatever it is. Get outside for a walk in the park on days off, plants are healing and fresh air and exercise is good for everyone. I know it's raining, just take an umbrella. You have to try to shake off the negativity. Life really is what you make it.

It's never too late to change things. I'm 50 next year and (medical permitting!) I'll be starting a new career in policing. Keep trying new things and updating your cv and applying for jobs that are a step closer to where you want to be.

Having a steady job and only being able to save a little each month is a normal life for many people (and it is a lot better than some other people). Not saying you shouldn't aim for more if that's what you want, but don't let comparisons get you down.