Being bullied at work

[Waterhorse46]

This sounds pathetic to even post. However, I know it’s happening. It’s just becoming exhausting and I can’t cope. I need work to pay for things as anyone else but mentally I’m breaking. I really want to involve my union but it’ll exacerbate things I worry. What do I do other than keep logging incidents that are happening. How can I prove I’m being bullied. The reason I feel this way is that meetings are taking place without me and then I’m being forced to manage my department with a structure I haven’t even created. I’m being forced to meet multiple deadlines per week. I’ve been dismissed whenever I’ve raised concerns about other toxic staff.
How can I prove I’m being bullied. This may sound benign but I promise. It’s not.

Do you have anyone in work you trust and can confide in? It won’t stop it, but at least you can try to get a bit of support. My experience of workplace bullying is that it doesn’t stop until someone moves. Is there any chance of a lateral move?

I am an ex Union rep and think it is best to let them know. If the situation involves emails from the person, please print them off and keep a copy in a file. I think it is always such a sad situation. I was pleased to hear you are keeping notes about the situation. Please keep these at home so no one at work can snoop around and find them. I wish you all the best. I am now retired and feel glad to be out of all the hassle that work situations can bring.

It’s not pathetic and unfortunately it’s very common. You’re doing all the right things by logging events and incidents. Is there anyway you can get signed off - breaking point is not sustainable.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you
id suggest some time off and a conversation with a union rep.

Contact your union - this is what you pay your subs for!
Well done for making notes.
Check your work policies about bullying/expected behaviour, so you have some structure to work with.
It's worth considering seeing your GP about potentially being signed off for work related stress etc

Document everything from emails to conversations, screenshot Teams msgs etc… This will show the cumulative effect, often on there own it may not seem to be much but collated it shows a pattern and thus the effect on you.

No one. It’s very lonely.

So I’ve kept all my emails. Issue is if most things occur by conversation it’s a his word or her word against mine. I’ve got logs of pretty much everything I can. I also have adhd so I’ve got major rejection sensitivity but I never declared this in my application and the union said I can’t now mention that. But I have a health issue on going and under investigation they told me they won’t refer me to occupational health and that I just need to liaise with HR for now. I haven’t replied to that email until I’ve spoken to my case advisor.

Hi, I reckon you are doing the best you can do at the moment. If it comes to an industrial tribunal it is actually the case that you have a good chance of winning it. Due to costs many organisations prefer to settle out of court. The people on the panel tend to be sympathetic to the person who put the claim in and it used to amuse me when managers told people they could go to a tribunal as ones I know about never favoured the company and the claimant usually got a worthwhile amount. All the best anyway.

Oh I also agree over time off. For one reason alone if the situation is making you stressed then HR will be involved and should be asking is there anything that would help and you can tell them the full story and ask not to have to work with the individual. Some time off might do you some good as it certainly sounds stressful for you.