Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Police investigation concluded and now a meeting is needed to tell me outcome, advice please!

5 replies

CountingDownToAutumn · 12/12/2025 19:33

I have no idea if this is the right place to post this but I was wondering if anyone could help me.

The short version is I was in a abusive relationship. The police got involved and I decided to go ahead with the investigation. They have been investigating for a year now and I’ve found it really difficult. I’ve actually reached the point where I think the most beneficial result for my mental health would be for no further action to be taken and me being able to leave it in the past. I can’t bring myself to withdraw from the investigation though because I’m terrified that it will signal to the police that i’m in contact with him. This is categorically not the case, I’ve actually moved address so he doesn’t know where I live.

So my question, I was informed by the police a week or so ago that the investigation had been completed and it was going to the investigating officers supervisor. I’d receive an update on whether it would progress to the cps by the end of the month. I had a phone call today from the investigating officer to tell me a decision has been made but she will not tell me over the phone. I’ve got to meet with her early next week for her to discuss it with me and talk about next steps. I can’t say I’m thrilled. Truthfully whatever the outcome id far rather know now than have the emotional turmoil of this over my head all weekend.

So anyone who’s been through this or work in this field. Why couldn’t she just tell me over the phone? Does the fact it needs to be a face to face meeting infer one outcome is more likely than the other? I can see it working both ways. In person would help to deliver bad news (no further action taken) but would police really travel a two hour round trip to deliver news a telephone conversation could have conveyed far more conveniently? Or is there more to this?

Any answers will be really appreciated!

OP posts:
MumoftwoNC · 12/12/2025 19:36

I can't answer your question op but I just wanted to say I think you've been really brave. Future-you will be really proud of going through with it. I'm sorry they don't make the process easier for victims.

CountingDownToAutumn · 12/12/2025 19:44

Honestly I don’t feel brave. There were two separate investigations and one has already gone to court. It was thrown out for not enough evidence after the police didn’t submit half of what they should have. It was mishandled, the domestic violence support worker put a complaint in to the police over it and I was furious because I warned everyone that would happen. Even worse was the defence was awful and tried to twist my ex’s actions around on me because I must have ‘pushed him into it’.

Anyway, this investigation has been handled a lot better by a different police force and I know they’ve investigated everything that’s come up. I just don’t think I have it in me to do it again. I think the best ‘revenge’ for me is moving on and living a happy life as if he never existed.

OP posts:
working4ever · 12/12/2025 19:47

Best wishes. Just waiting for mine to go to cps.

CountingDownToAutumn · 12/12/2025 19:59

Good luck @working4ever. I really hope you get the rightful outcome 💐

OP posts:
ToughTimes88 · 12/12/2025 20:13

I don’t have an answer for you unfortunately but just wanted to send a message to say that you are amazing for standing your ground and powering through this whole ordeal. Sending love

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread