Questioning wether autism diagnoses is actually trauma

[Bottlesofrumonthewall]

My mother had two completely different sides. To other people she was the fun, cool, generous mum. Other children adored her. But at home she could switch instantly into someone frightening, cruel, neglectful or abusive. She would hit me, scream, or let her "monster" side loose, and then later insist it never happened.
She also went through fast, chaotic relationships, cheated on partners, used men for money, and had arrests for violence. Growing up in that level of instability has left a huge mark on me.
I found out this year that as a child I had been diagnosed with profound autism but I believe I was traumatised.
Someone once suggested my mother might have been autistic herself also, but that feels like a get out of jail free card.
I've tried to contest the diagnosis and complain. I've been told I'm "out of time" to make a complaint because they don't look at complaints about things over 3 years old. they have agreed to look at the diagnoses again but heard nothing after 3 months.

Could you afford to see a new assessor? A female I would suggest who follows the ADOS2 process. It's very important for you to know. You can then embrace who you are in a positive way, or you can move forward knowing you are not ND.

Autistic people are significantly more likely to experience trauma i would suggest. The experience in a very rigid society, schools etc is highly traumatic if you are not ' typical '. Even attachment can be difficult.

My mother behaved a bit like that. It sounds like xobert narcissist.y mik does this exact thing. Behind closed doors, very sneaky and nasty and manipulative. Even I didn't realize she was doing it.

I have questioned if she's Autistic with narc / sociopath traits. I don't blame the nasty behavior on Autism btw, that's the other stuff.

I have only been looking into it within the last few months after finding out and I read somewhere online that there is actually shared genetic vulnerabilities between autism and personality disordered family members if that makes sense
I will get reassessed but I don’t really want a label like that I feel more defined by my background and trauma.

I have a real discomfort with male professionals atm. My son and I saw a wonderful female assessor when he was assessed and confirmed Autistic. If you could afford it and want to do it, a woman with extensive experience would probably make you feel much more comfortable.

If you are Autistic, it sounds like it would be good for you to be around and speak with someone who can show you multiple positive aspects to this and crush some stigmas. There are lots of stigmas still. Even the phrase ' profound autism ' sounds very defective. It's not right really. I don't know the answer to the language problem because of course many are completely disabled by being Autistic.

I have read the same thing ref the Autism/Sociopathy thing. I find it interesting as I wonder this about people close on my family.

And again that's stigmatizing when you hear about people doing awful things in the media and they say they are Autistic. It should really be shining a light on the part that feeds awful careless cruelty; that's the sociopath part.

Have a look at the Coventry grid. It compares autism and trauma about:blank source:%20Drawing%20The%20Ideal%20Self
https://share.google/xzvESULWi4WYdq12h

You can have both. cPTSD and autism. In fact, autism means you’re more likely to have cPTSD.

I have a real discomfort with male professionals atm. My son and I saw a wonderful female assessor when he was assessed and confirmed Autistic. If you could afford it and want to do it, a woman with extensive experience would probably make you feel much more comfortable.

Why would OP feel more comfortable with a female assessor (female authority figure) when her primary abuser was her own mother (another female authority figure)? Walk me through your thought process here.

You could very well be right that a woman would not work so well for OP @SpiritAdder

There is quite a problem with medical misogyny in my experience and my opinion. As a woman, presenting as Autistic, ( if OP is) I would see a vulnerability in her being Autistic and dealing with a male professional in this vulnerable context.

OP can and must decide for herself. I believe she will do what feels best for her.

I sense you are somewhat bothered by my post. You can talk me through that if you like.

My daughter is diagnosed with autism but I honestly think she was traumatised during Covid, when her entire life stopped at age 10. I don’t really think she is autistic. She is on the lowest possible dose of Prozac and that keeps her going just fine.

As OP was traumatised by an abusive mother, I don’t think she would be able to unmask in front of a female assessor. She would instantly feel vulnerable.

My issue with your post is you seem to be projecting your own vulnerability on the OP <<I have a real discomfort with male professionals atm>>

without really explaining why/how she would have the same discomfort as yourself with male assessors as well as the same comfort as yourself with female assessors.

editing to add that medical misogyny is a problem that both male and female health professionals impose on female patients.

Did this assessment follow a rigorous multi disciplinary process? More than one person involved assessing? Follow NICE guidance; ADOS process.

Or was it a pediatrician sat with her for 20 minutes and determined Autistic? Which I have heard people say happened to them. (Not ok to do that without a thorough assessment in my eyes.)

I've sat in and participated through the entire process of an ADOS assessment with 3 professionals involved. There is absolutely no way this is getting it wrong.

Trauma is much more significant in the life of an ND person especially. Systems are so rigid and not at all flexible to non conformists.

You say you only found out about the diagnosis this year. Who told you?

I have two adopted children, both adults now. They both have autism diagnoses but many professionals who work in adoption will claim that adopted children are often inappropriately diagnosed asd when the problem is the trauma.

But in the case of adoption, the trauma is developmental - very much intra uterine and pre verbal. It isn't about trauma you can recall.

The overlap between trauma, asd and things like attachment, genetic deletion is extremely complicated. And professionals tend to diagnose within their own area of specialism - it is extremely difficult to find someone who can look at the case from an entirely independent standpoint.

What harm is the asd diagnosis causing you? It is one that often brings help without stigma.

The diagnoses is on my records no one told me I had it.
I don’t know much about autism I suppose it is possible I have both but I am hoping to get the diagnoses removed then reassessed for a diagnosis that is true to who I really am. I feel more disabled by trauma.

The Coventry grid is quite gendered and ignores the differences between male and female presentation. Hence girls are misdiagnoised or missed.

yes it was the full rigorous process. But in her daily life there’s just nothing to suggest she is ND.

On your medical record?

Perhaps you need to discuss how you feel with your GP.

I don’t think there is any particular disadvantage to having an autism diagnosis. You don’t have to declare it to anyone.

But it could be trauma not autism

So many are missing the point here

So why did you go ahead with the assessment because it’s not an easy thing to obtain and relies on you providing a substantial amount of evidence via questionnaire and developmental interviews?

It could but it’s harder to obtain an autism diagnoses if someone has experienced trauma as it’s usually put down to that instead so more evidence is required.

Profound autism isn’t a diagnosis that tends to be given either.

Tbf you have to declare it eg for travel insurance

Tackle the 2 strands separately.

I would argue getting re-assessed for autism (because it's not a diagnosis, it's an assessment) is less important than identifying and treating you for trauma if you are traumatized by your childhood.

Don't sit and do nothing until an NHS adult autism assessment comes round. It could be years (but ask your GP about Right to Choose which can speed things up, I'm not sure if it is operating for adults autism assessments). You think you may have MH difficulties associated with trauma from childhood; look for help with this. You don't need to prove you are NT to access mental health support.

If you have money to throw at this, we paid £1000 for private autism assessment to NICE guidelines with a provider than also subcontracts to the NHS. Counselling £60ish per hour, usually in chunks of 6 sessions. If funds allow, taking both these options could save you wasting years worrying and waiting. And if you do get re-diagnosed with autism then you have a solid place to move forward from.

And of course it doesn't have to be either/or. It could be both. I believe there is increasing recognition that some people (especially women) with BPD diagnosis are actually autistic. To be honest yes, there is a risk of getting that label instead if you "fight" the autism diagnosis, but either way YOU are always going to be more important than any labels put on you. Therefore getting therapy to help you process your childhood experiences is more important than challenging the labels.