I've just had an interesting invitation

[Suitbox]

A friend (man in his 60s) has tickets to take his young DGC, his daughter and her husband, plus an ex of his (not the DD's mother) who he's now friends with, to see a West End show, primarily aimed at children.

The ex's own mother is unwell, so she's unsure if she'll be able to go.

Friend has messaged me to tell me all this and say "I can't think of anyone I'd rather have on standby for if ex can't come. My treat".

🤣

I'm weirdly not offended. The man's just bonkers.

Doesn’t sound that bonkers? Sounds like something a friend would say. Why would’ve offended, you’ve got the option of a free show, but if you don’t fancy it just say. I’m sure they won’t be offended.

Yes, but I'm not invited yet. Only if she decides she can't go on the day.

I wouldn’t be offended either.

Being on good terms with an ex. is 'bonkers'?

I don’t think it’s bonkers and wouldn’t be offended. I can’t see why anyone would be. He is being sensible to get a back up in case the other person can’t go and it gives you some notice.

I'm not seeing how this is bonkers either. If you don't want to be left hanging, just politely decline now.

I was once invited by a work colleague to see Prince live in concert as he had a spare ticket.
I was delighted, despite less than 24 hours notice. On the way there he told me that I was the 9th person he'd asked and that he was running out of options.
I just laughed. I knew that we weren't close and of course he was going to ask his friends first.
Bloody good concert and he died not long after, so I'm happy to have been a last resort!

I don't see anything offensive or bonkers about this.

He's simply aware that a ticket might become available at short notice, and is offering it to you, should that happen.

Perfectly normal behaviour in this circumstance.

Your reaction is a bit bonkers odd.

I think that’s a normal thing to do. He’s letting you know that there might be a chance of a spare ticket but obviously he can’t tell you for sure until the day.

If you don’t want to go, you just say so, like in any situation.

I don’t think anything he’s said is bonkers at all.

I think your friend is refreshingly honest. Too often we faff around, don't say what we mean and result in misunderstanding and offence being taken. Respond in the same way, either you are interested or not. If you need to know for sure by a certain time say so.

This is only bonkers if your friend is actually a "special" friend!

If it's Paddington, I'm v jealous.

I don't really see what the issue is, unless he's not 'just a friend' and there's something more to it that means you're jealous of his ex.

If you're bothered about being 'on standby' as a second option, it's hardly unreasonable for him to tell you that there might be a ticket going for something on a particular date. Otherwise, if the ticket does become available, he'd have to ask you with zero notice out of the blue, or let it go to waste.

My boss and his son have season tickets to his football club, and he's said to me many times when the fixtures are released, 'If it turns out DS and I can't go to the game against your team, do you want first refusal on the seats?' and I've never taken offence!

Why would someone be offended? What's bonkers about it?

is there a drip feed coming? Because I can’t see the problem with this.

I recently had tickets to a show for a family group and with late notice two people couldn’t make it. I asked a few friends but in the end, put a message on Facebook offering them to the first friend who replied. Someone I hadn’t seen for a while and I’m not particularly close to nabbed them. We had a nice catch up and I quite enjoyed seeing them enjoy the sort of show they would never have bought tickets for themself.

I don’t think it’s bonkers at all to not want the seat to go to waste. They’ve also given you a bit of a heads up so even if it is sort of last minute, you might have a loose plan ready to go. If it was me, I’d have thought about what to wear and how to get there, just in case the offer did come through.

This is how I got to see Elton John!

As in bonkers to think a grown woman would come to a kid's show? Yeah maybe. But it might be a laugh. You can get pissed. Haha .

West End theatre tickets cost the earth, and I wouldn't want one to go to waste either if it could be used by a friend. If you haven't any other plans that day, say yes.

If it was something I wanted to see I would be quite happy! Though a bit of a pain if you don't know until the day.