Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Son (17 yrs old) received investigation letter for gross misconduct

203 replies

JustV · 10/12/2025 22:30

My son has started working at the end of October 2025. He was really happy, exited and really liked his job. However, be was suspended today (after he finished his shift) and was given letter for investigation meeting, gross misconduct.
Allegations are: abuse or failure to follow any of the company's policies or procedures also insubordination and failure to obey instructions or perform work as required or defined. Only 2 incidents mentioned. No evidence provided. He cooked 8 meats instead of 6 and 4 pattys instead of 2. I can't see this as gross misconduct. It wasn't mentioned what specific policy/ procedure he breached. It was second time he was cooking pattys. No previous worning given. I find this to harsh. He is new in a very quick phased job, he follows instructions and listens to his mangers and if this happened it was genuine mistake. How we should approach this? His wasn't properly trained, no clear communication (one manager says this another something else), no warning given, he needs to work quickly and sometimes he hasn't got enough time to think.

OP posts:
VanCleefArpels · 10/12/2025 22:36

He goes to the meeting, preferably with a colleague to take notes, with a list of the questions you raise: what happened, how was it gross misconduct, does it meet the definition of gross misconduct in the contract / staff handbook? What is his mitigation / explanation?

Given the short length of time he’s been employed he’s probably within his probation period (does his contract say anything about this?) therefore they can just choose not to continue employing him beyond the probationary period. Unless there’s a strong case for some kind of discrimination based on a protected characteristic he has very few rights. He might be better off starting to look for another job.

TheCorrsDidDreamsBetter · 10/12/2025 22:52

Are they trying to say he's stolen from the business by cooking and eating company products without paying?

If so, did he? If not, what happened with the excess food made? Why was there a mix up with amounts?

LIZS · 10/12/2025 22:55

Is it deemed wasteful or perhaps contravened h and s ? What happened to the extra? Gross mosconduct implies something serious. Can he take a colleague to the meeting?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Jobs
Bungle2168 · 10/12/2025 22:56

Your son needs to take on board what is happening (so it does not happen again), and start looking for another job. Since he has worked in this job for such a short amount of time, I would sweep the whole unpleasant incident under the carpet and not put it on my CV.

Newnamesameme · 10/12/2025 22:58

Was he giving out free stuff.. cos that's deemed stealing. Gross misconduct.

PinkFrogss · 10/12/2025 23:02

With less than two years service he has very little rights, he can be dismissed for pretty much any reason.

He should go to the meeting fully prepared with the reasons for his errors, what he has learned from them, and how he will do better in future.

But it’s probably worth job hunting just in case. He’s worked there for such a short time there’s no need to worry about gaps on his CV etc if he left this job off.

Enrichetta · 10/12/2025 23:06

What happened to the extra meats and patties he cooked?

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 10/12/2025 23:07

Enrichetta · 10/12/2025 23:06

What happened to the extra meats and patties he cooked?

This. Were they given away to customers in error, or did he eat them?

Original poster
JustV · 11/12/2025 09:23

No he didn't stole anything or ate additional patties :) it was his second time on this task and he didn't know many he needs to cook. He is in a job for about 6 weeks, working part time. Expectations wasn't clearly communicated and not enough training gives. He really like there, but I don't think manager likes him for whatever reason.(my personal opinion). But gross misconduct is a bit over the top

OP posts:
Original poster
JustV · 11/12/2025 09:25

No he didn't stole anything or ate additional patties :) it was his second time on this task and he didn't know many he needs to cook. He is in a job for about 6 weeks, working part time. Expectations wasn't clearly communicated and not enough training gives. He really like there, but I don't think manager likes him for whatever reason.(my personal opinion). But gross misconduct is a bit over the top

OP posts:
Original poster
JustV · 11/12/2025 09:30

The same manager who made accusations is investigating too. Looks like decission has been made :) just upsetting. First job and ends in this way. I guess it is good life lesson.
🙂

OP posts:
Fupoffyagrasshole · 11/12/2025 09:30

Fuck that would I be going to a meeting for something like that!

id walk away and get a New job elsewhere

this is just the beginning of the shit that’s gonna go on there

Original poster
JustV · 11/12/2025 09:31

Do you think he should defend himself or just resign?

OP posts:
itsthetea · 11/12/2025 09:32

It’s a cost thing isn’t it? Cooking way more than needed costs them / I mean what are meats? Full joints? Expensive

LIZS · 11/12/2025 09:32

So there was wastage as he didn’t check the quantity? He needs to learn to think on his feet and as if needs be. That will apply in his next role as much as this,

Bungle2168 · 11/12/2025 09:38

JustV · 11/12/2025 09:31

Do you think he should defend himself or just resign?

Be honest OP, there’s more to this than cooking a couple of superfluous burgers (?). You said “insubordination “. What’s that all about? Did he tell the boss to shove the patties up his arse?

TeaRoseTallulah · 11/12/2025 09:41

Abuse?

darkestdecember · 11/12/2025 09:43

Bungle2168 · 10/12/2025 22:56

Your son needs to take on board what is happening (so it does not happen again), and start looking for another job. Since he has worked in this job for such a short amount of time, I would sweep the whole unpleasant incident under the carpet and not put it on my CV.

Same

Hoppinggreen · 11/12/2025 09:46

I am sorry OP but its really unlikely that this is over cooking a couple too many burgers
Your son should go to the meeting (taking a colleague if possible) and get a full picture of what the accusations are, hopefully after this he will be honest with you and tell you the full story
GM, especially given how little time he has been there is most likely to lead to dismissal and under 2 years service gives him few rights BUT perhaps he will be able to at least understand exactly what went wrong so as not to repeat any mistakes
I would also say that if it looks like dismissal is likely it may be better he resigns for Reference purposes.

SparkleSpriteDust · 11/12/2025 09:52

His employer has gone a bit OTT by the sound of things.

I would advise him as other have here to sit and listen and take on board what they say but also start looking for a new job. Find somewhere that values him.

As in all industries, there are some amazing mentors in catering but also some not so much. The most important thing is that your son listens to feedback objectively, keeps his head up, takes pride in what he is doing, stands up for himself when he knows he's right and finds an employer who values him and shows him how to be excellent at what he does.

Good luck to your son.

rwalker · 11/12/2025 09:53

He needs to listen to what they say
and ask for further training
I’m really surprised that this warrants jumping in as gross misconduct
generally it it was a gross misconduct offence you’d be suspended pending investigation

I used to work for one of the utilities and when ever dealing with things like this it’s pre formatted by HR and the wording can be quite heavy handed

stockloss/waste is directly off the bottom line profit so they will be very hot on it

if they do sack him tbh he’s been there a few weeks I wouldn’t even put it on cv

ComtesseDeSpair · 11/12/2025 09:55

Considering that, as he’s only been there for six weeks, they don’t need any reason dismiss him and could very easily just do so by saying “sorry Josh, we don’t need you any more” if they simply weren’t happy with his work rather than go through the hassle of an investigation, I’d guess there’s more in the background than your DS is letting on - it sounds as though he’s being investigated for theft. He’d do better to just resign. Whether he’s been stealing or not, he probably doesn’t want to work somewhere where he’s had run ins with the manager and is being accused of it.

VikaOlson · 11/12/2025 09:56

It sounds unfair, but if they want him out (going straight to misconduct rather than just offering informal advice/training) I'd just get him to quit and pretend this job never happened.
Start afresh in a new job.

Original poster
JustV · 11/12/2025 09:56

SparkleSpriteDust · 11/12/2025 09:52

His employer has gone a bit OTT by the sound of things.

I would advise him as other have here to sit and listen and take on board what they say but also start looking for a new job. Find somewhere that values him.

As in all industries, there are some amazing mentors in catering but also some not so much. The most important thing is that your son listens to feedback objectively, keeps his head up, takes pride in what he is doing, stands up for himself when he knows he's right and finds an employer who values him and shows him how to be excellent at what he does.

Good luck to your son.

Thank you. He naively believes he will be fine after meeting 🙂and will be able working there.

OP posts:
SparkleSpriteDust · 11/12/2025 09:56

JustV · 11/12/2025 09:31

Do you think he should defend himself or just resign?

OP, he should do both.

Please talk to him in positive and encouraging words.

It may not be anything that your son has done, could be that the pub cannot afford to pay him at the moment. Most of us at some point have faced dismissal or redundancy. It's all part of life's rich tapestry.

He must put this behind him and find a really good employer who will mentor him and value him and they do exist (both my sons work in catering and both have very good supervisors. One worked with a Head Chef who was the absolute making of my son).

Swipe left for the next trending thread