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Original poster

Male partner not accepting hair loss

26 replies

SquashBandicoot · 09/12/2025 14:49

Finding it really difficult - he has lost most of his hair on the crown and towards the front of his head but gre his hair long and can comb it to look covered from the front. However, to everyone else he is clearly very much balding.

He's realised he doesn't really like the hair long and doesn't look after it so is getting it cut today. I've never liked his hair long but never mentioned it as not my head and obviously something that is upsetting him. So I was delighted he is getting it cut - and just assumed cropped all over. He is a good looking man with a beard and would suit this.

He's getting back and sides short and leaving som on top to comb back. I tried to say carefully that he has lost a lot there and it is clear to other people and he got quite snappy about still having plenty of hair.

I'm finding it hard because it doesn't suit him anymore and also I know how it is seen by other people but I would not want him to judge me on how I've changed as we've aged. Id also like him to accept himself now - like I said, he's a good looking man.

OP posts:
Nourishinghandcream · 09/12/2025 14:56

Mentioned this to my OH and he is as bemused as me as to why some men feel the need for what is effectively, a "comb over" as they are fooling no-one but themselves.
My OH is partially bald, as is his brother, his late father (bald by 25!) plus most of our wider family. In fact, only my late father kept a full head of hair into old age.
See a chap with a thinning head of hair or bald and no-one thinks anything about it, try some sort of cover-up and all of a sudden, it is noticeable.☹️

SparkleSpriteDust · 09/12/2025 14:58

Always looks better when it's cut short all over.

MrsFrumble · 09/12/2025 14:59

Maybe the barber/hairdresser will talk him round? I do feel for him. It must be a really hard thing to deal with, even though it’s so common.

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Beauty
Original poster
SquashBandicoot · 09/12/2025 15:06

I hope the barber will talk to him. And I have a lot of sympathy that it's hard but he's in his early 50s so it's notjing unusual. He would actually look younger and more together if he just got it cropped.

OP posts:
PollyPlumPeach · 09/12/2025 15:08

SquashBandicoot · 09/12/2025 15:06

I hope the barber will talk to him. And I have a lot of sympathy that it's hard but he's in his early 50s so it's notjing unusual. He would actually look younger and more together if he just got it cropped.

There are lots of apps these days that can show you what you would look like with different hairstyles. Could you take a picture of him and show him how much better he would look without the combover? He may be having difficulty picturing it

Ygfrhj · 09/12/2025 15:09

I guess he's looking at it front on in the mirror so it probably looks ok. Has he seen a photo of himself from the back or sides recently?

There is a sub Reddit where men buzz it all off as they go bald and post before and afters, maybe looking at that would give him some confidence.

BaronessBomburst · 09/12/2025 15:43

Bald men can look very sexy.
A balding man with a comb-over? Er, no......

Original poster
SquashBandicoot · 09/12/2025 15:49

Exactly! Bald is sexy! And I think it will suit him with his beard as well.

I think I find the comb over particularly difficult as he was always so fastidious with his style and looks and so this seems so odd.

App and photos is a good idea.

Also some of the paranoia is that he thinks he has a weird shaped head - it's flat at the back. But now he's filled out a bit more with age that just isn't noticeable.

OP posts:
Ketzele · 09/12/2025 16:01

Oh poor man. What a shame, there's nothing wrong with a bit of bald! Sounds like you are being lovely and supportive. Sadly, he will probably only change when other men start ribbing him on it.

Isthismykarma · 09/12/2025 16:09

My DP isn’t even 30 and has braved the shave. I’ve seen a pictures from before I knew him when he was hanging on to every last strand and had I met him then I wouldn’t have been attracted to him! He looks so much cleaner with a shiny bald head and people who he hasn’t seen in a few years often say the same when they see it for the first time.

Beekman · 09/12/2025 16:55

Try and persuade him to shave his head. A shaved head is just that- no longer bald but shaved! Empowering!

Chazbots · 09/12/2025 16:57

Ha, ha, when I was a student, one of my friends was in denial and we eventually were allowed to cut his hair for him. He looked so much better.

Stop tiptoeing about, he's making a twat of himself.

FeliciaFancybottom · 09/12/2025 17:02

Is it better or worse than this?

Male partner not accepting hair loss
Original poster
SquashBandicoot · 09/12/2025 17:26

He's back from the hair cut and it's significantly better. It's kind of combed from th side slightly so looks as full as it can and the back.ans sides looks good. It's a huge step forward from the slightly homeless look.

I would advocate fully shaved but he is definitely not ready for that. Had a bit of a convo about accepting the grey etc though so hopefully moving forward...

Not quite the hamlet cigar man! More bald at the crown and then thing at the front but so much better now cropped back

OP posts:
Original poster
SquashBandicoot · 09/12/2025 17:31

Last last last resort will be a photo from an angle that shows how bald he is. But that feels a little cruel

OP posts:
Brightbluesomething · 09/12/2025 18:03

Lots of men look much better shaved, but some really don’t. It depends on their head shape. He might be worried that he’ll look like an egg?
Hair loss is closely linked to self esteem with some men so I agree that doing it in stages is probably the best bet.

CalmShaker · 09/12/2025 19:30

Just a thought but with Christmas round the corner why not get him a wig?
Apparently the glue is very advanced now and is rated up to 6 on the Beaufort scale.

Doggielovelouie · 09/12/2025 19:32

SquashBandicoot · 09/12/2025 15:49

Exactly! Bald is sexy! And I think it will suit him with his beard as well.

I think I find the comb over particularly difficult as he was always so fastidious with his style and looks and so this seems so odd.

App and photos is a good idea.

Also some of the paranoia is that he thinks he has a weird shaped head - it's flat at the back. But now he's filled out a bit more with age that just isn't noticeable.

Have you mentioned to him it’s a comb over?

PandorasBox7 · 09/12/2025 19:40

SquashBandicoot · 09/12/2025 15:06

I hope the barber will talk to him. And I have a lot of sympathy that it's hard but he's in his early 50s so it's notjing unusual. He would actually look younger and more together if he just got it cropped.

My son is almost bald at 33 and couldn’t care less. I think men who have a lot of hair find it hard to lose it. What’s odd is that my husband has a thick head of hair so I think he might have inherited the bald gene from my side of the family. My grandfather was bald as is my Uncle. I have suffered with hair loss in the past due to thyroid disease so I can understand how devastating it can be. Has he thought of getting a hair transplant? A friend of my husbands had one and his hair looks good now.

WheresBillGrundyNow · 09/12/2025 20:02

SquashBandicoot · 09/12/2025 17:31

Last last last resort will be a photo from an angle that shows how bald he is. But that feels a little cruel

Don’t do this. It’s more than a little cruel.
Sometimes people can be incredibly sensitive about this kind of thing. Imagine you had something you were really self conscious about and someone showed you a photo of it from the worst angle. Wtf are you thinking

ConstitutionHill · 09/12/2025 21:14

Have a look at this brilliant Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/bald/s/WAL1fZ4zgF

I wouldn't show it to your husband just yet but it does show some great before and after.

Rubyandrewsjustlovingyou · 09/12/2025 21:45

FeliciaFancybottom · 09/12/2025 17:02

Is it better or worse than this?

That advert is Ace

echt · 09/12/2025 21:57

My lovely, late DH had already taken the plunge before I met him. My God he was so good-looking.

Newyearsameme26 · 09/12/2025 22:16

Have a look at Regal Gentleman on YouTube. He has done a series on hair loss in men. He's a barber and he advises his clients on what to do. There are a few with comb overs, but it's about the psychological side too. Maybe your dh can watch it.