Finding it hard to feel Christmas-y, now that I'm the one in charge of creating the "Christmas magic". Anyone else?

[Justlostmybagel]

In the last 3 years, I've gone from living at home with my parents, to married, living abroad, having our dd, and now pregnant with our second. So now I'm suddenly (not that sudden really but it's been a busy couple of years) in charge of everything Christmas-related. Everything that I do feels flat and stressful though.

Our dd is 13 months so we're still very much in the trenches of nappies, naps, and teething, no matter how special of a day it is. She obviously doesn't have any understanding of Christmas yet either. I know that's probably a big part of it.

Is this how Christmas is as an adult/parent? Or will I feel Christmas-y again one day?

Christmas can often be stressful precisely because of expectations. And women can be their own worst enemies sometimes putting pressure on themselves. If you’re not feeling it just keep it simple until DC is old enough to understand.
A tree, some lights, a stocking and one gift. Some music, a day together playing. That’s a pretty special day.

But also. Yeah. It felt harder every year to feel Christmassy when it felt like a job.the moments got fewer and further between. But just as special.

Single mum of 3 here. Creating the Christmas magic has always been down to me. Thankfully I do love it, despite balancing it with full-time work!

A part of me can’t wait to be hosted one day though 🤣 It’s exhausting!

Do you not live with your husband/wife?

Christmas is as hectic or calm as you choose to make it.

Thanks for the replies! Keeping it simple is definitely what I need to do so I don't get bogged down by my own expectations. Maybe I just need to watch some more Christmas films to get in the spirit haha.

Yes, I live with my husband. He's not a big holiday person but he's happy to go along with anything I plan.

Keep it simple, the baby will enjoy the Christmas lights. DDs liked toys like stacking rings, baby walker, a little wooden postbox you could post wooden 'letters' in (stopped DD1 taking out the Sky viewing card and posting it under the rug, or DD2 from inserting big plastic counters into the DVD player for a minute 😅).

So why isn’t he sorting half of it?

You have a 13-month old! No ‘magic’ is needed other than a tree and some lights and a couple of presents! Are you imagining that you need to be glumly organising trips to Lapland, snow machines, handmade adventure calendars, an elaborately decorated and lit house, Elf on the Shelf, personal visits to Santa, hiring reindeer etc?

He does more than his fair share, don't worry. He's not the issue here.

13 months is still a baby, it's definitely more fun making the magic when they understand what's happening:) and you get to make up your own special traditions as you go

A little bit haha. I guess I'm trying to do everything that my mum did!

Keep it simple at that age, forget what's all over social media because a lot of that isn't actually real!

Yeah i get it. In similar boat. Just tried my 5 year old with panto and he wanted to leave at intermission.

DH does the cooking on xmas day though. I often work up until xmas eve so if anyone ever makes me host, they will get takeaway or party food.

Personally I wouldn't bother this year with Christian... once DC are 2+ they have a sense of Santa and Christmas. That's when the fun part of Christmas starts.

When my DD was around that age, we had a small plastic tree with plastic baubles-nothing else. She loved them because they bounced off our wooden floor! She'd We'd pick them off, throw them around and laugh. Christmas fun comes in different ways.

Christmas not Christian!

It sucks, mostly the responsibility for everyone's joy. I know, been doing it for 37 years.

Maybe give your mum a ring and say thank you

I will be doing that. I don't know how she did it all, honestly!

Most of the ‘Christmas magic’ stuff wasn’t around when I was a kid and we still enjoyed Christmas.

Trying to be your own mother is usually a rapid road to unhappiness, and divorce in my case from my first husband! If you have a job in life, it’s to work out who YOU are. What would you like to do? What does Christmas mean to you? Do the bits that are important to help YOU enjoy the season, and your baby will pick up on your good mood. Do things that feel inauthentic and stressful and your baby will pick up that mood too.

My advice is keep it reeeeally simple while you work out how to do a Christmas that works for you. I got both my babies precisely 1 present each when they were 1. And that was for me rather than them really. Everything else we did (the tree, food on Christmas Day, the usual) was because I liked it. The other things will build slowly as you work out what’s actually fun. Don’t put pressure on yoursekf to ‘make it magical’. Also, if they’re at nursery or school they’ll also be doing Christmassy stuff there, which they’ll probably love, so it actually isn’t all on you. I used to love the last day of term, doing Christmas crafts and listening to Christmas songs

It is hard. I'm si

My best piece of advice would be to not make it too complicated and keep in mind what traditions you are setting up for yourself. Eg Elf on a Shelf sounds like fun until you realise you will have to do the bloody thing every day of December for the next umpteen years! Same for Santa photos and the like.
Just know what you are getting yourself into!
We've always kept things pretty low key and the kids have a relaxed and fun Xmas. We are lucky that we don't have to visit any relatives as they don't live close enough. They come and stay some years (but again, not often enough for it to be a tradition that we have to stick to)

Christmas for mums of small children is rubbish. I hate it. Next year I’m giving everybody bank transfers and we’re getting a takeaway.