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Teenage Son - walking on Eggshells

2 replies

GratefulBUTUnhappy · 08/12/2025 19:22

This is my first time parenting a teenager, and it is brutal. Is it normal to walk on eggshells around your teenage? I have 2 sons, 15&10, I have been on my own for nearly 9 years with them. I was only 22 when I had DS1, and I think for the most part a good mother, although i have let us down and lost my temper a few times and shouted and sworn. I am completely unsupported, there has only ever been an EOW agreement. All school commutes, activities (which are 5 days a week) and visiting friends is paid for and facilitated by me.

I went to university, got a degree and masters, got a job whicj fits around them and their needs, bought a house (which we all dislike and I feel guilty for buying but that's another story). My youngest received an ASD&ADHD diagnosis, I took him to outdoor school, play therapy and art therapy. I love my sons very much, I try hard to provide for them and be a better Mother than I had.

But DS1, he is rude, obnoxious, selfish, entitled, he is physical with his brother, he calls us names (he calls me an idiot every day). He has his first girlfriend which has helped a little, but he treats me and his brother, the two people closest to him, like rubbish.

Have other parents been through/are going through this? I hope he comes back around.

OP posts:
Galectable · 11/12/2025 19:25

That sounds like a very tough situation. Sadly, it is not uncommon. Its not about you, its the age he's going through and all the hormonal changes he's experiencing. Can you talk to his teachers and find out what he's like at school? There are good books on bringing up boys which may offer some useful advice. When my son was that age, we used to go for car drives and he would talk. And talk. I'd suggest a destination that he liked (ice cream or fried chicken) but which was at least 20 miles away. We didn't really talk about the important stuff, it was just that one on one time that all children benefit from even if they don't know it. Good on you for wanting to do something to improve the situation.

60sCoffeeTable · 11/12/2025 19:31

What are the consequences of his behaviour? If there are none, then implement some.

I have a grown up son who no longer lives with me - I had to ask him to leave at 16 because of his violence towards me and his siblings and his verbal abuse.

I have younger sons who are now teens and they have shown some signs of similar behaviour patterns, and I have come down hard on it with consistent consequences that they hate. It is working.

I was too scared, honestly, to effectively discipline their elder brother when he was a teen and I won’t make that mistake again.

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