How do you handle rumours about you

[Jjustsancs]

I mean nasty ones? I know this wouldn’t have happened to everyone.

Following as this has very much happened to me

Solidarity op 💐 xx

I laugh and usually add something else to the rumour. I’ve got no time for gossips.

What sort of rumours are you talking about - defamatory lies or “just” gossip? My response would differ according to the sort of rumour.

If it's true (but embarrassing) I would honestly just shrug, try and laugh it off. Everyone messes up and people will talk.

If it's lies and they're trying to undermine you I would be more likely to do something about it.

Let people think what they want.

It would depend on the rumour. On the whole though, I ignore it because those who know me can talk to me about if if they have concerns, those who believe it without questioning it aren't worth my time or care anyway.

What do you do about it though, if youve noone in your corner to defend you against lies and nasty rumours?

I think this is a question of context, it’s difficult to advise without more details.

I don’t believe all Gossip is ‘bad’. it can be a useful tool in sharing information socially, it’s a soft skill that can be helpful for our safety or peace of mind.

I take nasty gossip with pinch of salt and can't stand people who get off on it as they always want to believe or look for worst in others.
If talking about me is a highlight in your life then you haven't much about you.

There is quite honestly nothing you can do about something like someone spreading lies and gossip about you but live your life and people will find out eventually the truth. I have had vicious things spread about me but fighting back made me look worse and unhinged. People who listen to gossip generally don't care about the truth just the drama.

You accept that people are going to believe what they believe and that those who believe it aren't worth your time anyway. If I hear a rumour I take it with a grain of salt. Innocent until proven guilty?

It is quite damaging I am being accused of lying about significant trauma and being an attention seeker

I ignore it. Truth will out, so if it’s lies then they will be disproved in the end. If it’s true, then there’s not much you can do about it, just fess up if you’re ever asked directly. It sounds as if it’s malicious rumours in your case, so just hold your head high & carry on.

I decided it just reflected badly on anyone who chose to believe it

(My ex spread a rumour I had schizophrenia)

You don't have to justify to anyone about anything that you've been through.👍

is it one main person spreading this

Yes but they have a lot that seem to believe them

The truth always outs. I'd make the rumours worse so they stay away from me. I've been in this situation, it's not nice ... get your resting bitch face ready

If you pay too much attention, it can actually trigger your trauma (talking from personal experience) so my advice would be to try and disassociate from the instigators as much as possible (if possible) and let them get bored of themselves.
You don't have to prove yourself to anyone. And it's your healing journey.
You can't control whether others say or think about you, but it's important not to let them get inside your head. I know from experience, the trauma occupies enough room in our minds, so I personally focus on telling myself how well I am doing and being kind to myself. Try not to react to them and don't ever feel you have to explain yourself. You will only feel worse and they get their kicks from it.
Build a wall of silence.

Ignore all of it.
Do not engage with it.
It will be yesterday’s news pretty soon and they will find something else to gossip about.
The truth will come out in the end.