Can you help me please? I'm from a family that never gifted so don't know the rules

[Sociallyunsure]

My mum never gave presents as thank you's, and I live in an area where this is very much the social norm. I struggle to know what's an appropriate thank you. Please can you help?

A friend mentioned she was going to get a charity to collect a couple of pieces of furniture as it was too much effort to sell them. I asked if I could have one piece for my daughters room. She said yes. Great.

Until last night I thought I'd get her a nice bouquet of flowers - nice and Christmassy, for this time of year. But last night, I got the thought that I should pay her. I would buy this eventually, but not this month before Christmas. And, if I pay her, how do I decide how much?

I overthink things terribly. Please help me!

No, you can't pay her. If there was to be any payment it would have to have been discussed upfront, not after the fact. It would be so awkward to try and give a random amount at this stage.
Anyway, she was offloading for free. ..

Flowers is fine.

Have you picked up the item yet? Can you see what similar things are going for on Facebook marketplace or eBay?

I would take the cash equivalent (or just what you could afford to give) and as I collected say “here, please let me give you this for it” but would be 99% sure in this instance that she would wave you away and not take it.

Then yes your idea of a lovely bunch of flowers or maybe wine or a Christmas wreath / table centre type thing would be perfect to then take around afterwards as a thank you.

I’d ask before you collect it if she wants any money for it and if she says no (likely) then flowers is a perfect thank you gift. Chocolates or booze also work well if you know they like.
Don’t show up and try to foist a random amount of money on her, that would be really weird.

I would give some flowers to the friend and tell her that I will make a donation to the charity...making sure to do so.

Exactly this

Thanks so much. My first thought was right - hurrah! I hate things like this. I never know what to do.

I'll go and get a christmassy bouquet.

Thanks everyone.

At this time of year, an indoor bulb bowl or a pointsettia would be a nice floral based gift.