School mums get together

[Peppa421]

I’m friendly enough with DD’s class mums (year 2) I say hi and bye but not overly close with them. One posted in the group chat about end of term lunch with the kids to a Restarant chain near by. I politely declined because I’m not sociable and I don’t fancy dealing with my DD and her elder brother too and most likely they will fight the entire meal. But listening to all the chatter on the group chat I feel a little down.

My mental health is not great right now but I’m working on it by getting my environment clean and tidy and not letting myself get too stressed out which makes me worse. It seems like lots are going. In class of 22 about 13 have said yes.

I feel really depressed listening to them as I wish I could be normal but if I said yes I would be thinking about it and obsessing over the things that could go wrong from now till the 2 weeks when it happens. Can anyone relate or give me advice? I truthfully don’t want to go but I feel I should be going and my DD is missing out. Please help me feel better I feel so down. I wish I wasn’t so crazy and wish I was normal.

Why don’t you want to go?

Do you take medication for anxiety? It sounds like you need some support. A chat with GP could highlight some options

Ok so I have ASD and ADHD so do really struggle with this kind of thing. However I’m determined to not let it affect my dd so I do go to things where her friends are going so she doesn’t miss out. It’s about her rather than me and at this age I have to facilitate her social life.

My kids are younger than yours, and they are twins… and honestly I totally resonate with not wanting to take them to places because of how you’ll anticipate their behaviour will be. I have said no many times.

But kindly, I think you should go. You’re surrounded by people who get it. Worst case scenario you have to leave early before meals are served but you’ll likely find your kids will surprise you because they’ll be around other kids and too distracted to fight.

The thing is my DD doesn’t enjoy the big get together either. Last year we went DD said it was so boring. I found it awkward too and kept analysing it. If it was soft play I could understand going for her but this is really for the adults to have a glass of wine at the end of term and food. It’s a restaurant so I don’t think DD will miss out

Maybe I could arrange something with 2 or 3 of DS class mums? We could go cinema or do an activity. I prefer that than sitting at a table with people don’t really know making small talk

Well, I don't like these sort of things either. They make me apprehensive. There is a lot that can go wrong its often stressful
Here you've got a good recipe for a perfect storm. A collection of Mums and children in a restaurant..nope year 2 children are not always on model behaviour. They get down run around, other diners complain. The manager comes over. There's a lot of mess. It also gets very expensive. Nope not for me
They won't all go, not everyone. Just say you cant make it. I do this with the art club O belong to. We've got a couple of people who get drunk and keep topping up old ladies who are driving and it gets unpleasant as the drink takes affect I end up with a £ 60 bill for a lunch Ive wished i could be somewhere else! Don't feel guilty, arrange something impromptu with a couple of Mums you like in the garden with your children more low key and much more relaxing! It's not abnormal to feel you don't want this arrangement its perfectly ok.

That's a far better suggestion. Just say you couldnt make the lunch as you had a prior appointment but youre sorry to miss out. However you might upset people you haven't asked with your alternaive arrangement. So youd have to be discreet.