The CF neighbour caught bang to rights!

[Patiencerunningthin]

I love a CF thread on mumsnet and am delighted to offer a tale today. Was expecting a parcel today and had to go out about 10 mins before end of delivery window. Knowing this was the case I’d updated the delivery app with a safe place alternative.
Return home and no sign of parcel or delivery card. Normal post has been. Check Ring doorbell and no sign of parcel delivery.
Delivery app is reporting successful delivery and on further investigation I recognise my next door neighbour in her pjs taking the parcel which clearly has my address on.
Son pops around to claim it and she denies any parcel was delivered “Nothing has come here today”. She even had him checking over their fence in case it had been dropped over the side.
Confused, I check the app again. It’s definitely her.
I return next door to investigate further. They’ll have seen me approach the house and come up the path. I can hear them inside but no one is answering the door. A few rings of the bell later and knocks of the door and she arrives all surprised. Same script again “No, nothing here”.
I show the picture and observe that whilst there isn’t a headshot it is a remarkable resemblance of her redeeming features. I also reflect that she seems to be wearing the same pj bottoms, stained t shirt and slippers. It also looks very similar to their carpet and doorframe. She agrees it’s a co-incidence.
She quizzes what time was it allegedly delivered, what was in it, am I sure it’s been delivered.
She then remembers they’d had parcels delivered and the picture is her holding one of her parcels. I zoom in and point out it has my name and address and the product brand all over the box.
She then recalls a further hazy memory from a whole 60 mins since the delivery occurred. Tells me to wait and shuts the door in my face.
She comes back with a ripped box with packaging trailing out (she’d have gotten away with blaming the dog), and expensive decent brand moisturiser in the other hand.
“Is this it? I thought it was mine. I’ve ordered some”.
I pointed out it had my name on, it had the brand all over the box, and it’s a man’s product.
She had no response, no apology, just silence.
It’s my husband’s birthday gift from his mum so I was initially a bit annoyed but I walked back in and couldn’t stop laughing with my 14 year old son.
It’s been a very entertaining story in the family WhatsApp this afternoon.
There was a reason I didn’t suggest the neighbour as an alternative recipient to take the parcel in.

I read so often about neighbours who take in other's parcels and then deny receipt, or open them up. It's such an alien concept to me as I'd never dream to do this. Some people are so scummy.

It's absolutely mad, isn't it, to assume that somebody will be perfectly safe and trustworthy to take a parcel in for somebody else - just on the grounds that they happen to live next door/nearby? Do people deny the very existence of thieves in the country, or do they just assume that they couldn't possibly live near any of the vast majority of people who are not thieves?

Fair enough if you know and trust your own neighbours, and give instructions/permissions to delivery people to that effect; but as a delivery person, why would you just automatically assume that any stranger must be honest based on nothing more than their location?

Yes, I'm perfectly happy to do it as a favour; but my express desire is to get it to them ASAP, to get it out of my way and off my mental to-do list.

It's so weird to think of people who look at the neighbour's parcel that's been left with them and their first thought is "Oooooh, I could have that!"

I always say do not deliver to neighbour. Though actually my neighbours are fine. But I don’t want to bother them collecting.
I was put down as an acceptable alternative for a woman up the road as my son took in a large parcel for them (I wouldn’t have as it was big and I don’t know them). Sure enough three days later another large parcel arrives and I refused it which is when I found out that they had put me as their preferred alternative. When they eventually did collect the original parcel I found out they didn’t actually live in the house! So they were never going to be in to accept delivery themselves. I’m not a storage depot.

So not only is she a thief she is also stupid. Not a CF at all.

I have the opposite - a local bakery seems to be using my home address as their mailing address. They have never lived here, but I get all of their HMRC correspondence, plus loads of their bills and catalogues. I put them all back in the postbox but it does piss me off.

I got a crate of Lebkuchen left on the doorstep last week - bakery name, my address, so wrongly delivered again. The bakery is a bus ride away so not convenient to drop back to them. Debating whether to just eat it 🤣

The other week I had a parcel and the lazy feck delivery driver couldn't be arsed to knock on my door and delivered it to my neighbour (was home and would have heard him). Instead I got the email notification it had been delivered. Looked at the pic. Looks like next door. Went to get it an hour or so later. Neighbour denied having it. It was her in the photo and her door - she said as much. But didn't have it. She had had a parcel delivered though.
I was certain she wouldn't have taken it as we occasionally take stuff for each other. Anyway, she pops mine minutes after to say she did refuse a parcel for the neighbour so maybe her other NDN had it. She did. Not even sure if that neighbour even had their own parcel or not, but her door is right next to the other one whereas mine would have taken a whole 30 seconds to get to.

Realised after that you can't actually see who is holding the parcel. I think the driver just held it up and didn't even hand it to her. But if the drivers do that, the parcel could end up anywhere!

This, we live in an apartment building where parcels are all left in the lobby so ripe for the pilfering but thankfully we seem to have honest neighbours. Dozy DH once brought up a parcel thinking it was for him (same first initial, similar surname, didn’t look properly). Realised on opening it wasn’t ours so he returned it to the lobby complete with an apology post-it note 🫣

Your story is very satisfying OP! I love proving someone wrong with receipts!

Cheeky Fucker !

I once had a parcel go missing - on complaining I was sent a picture of the signatory who had recieved it. The only person I could think of with that name was a local dog walker (who has enough cheek to have signed for it).

Turned out it was the postman. We live quite rurally so have a ‘usual’ man on the round but I hadn’t considered he’d have signed for it. He was actually being very helpful (to me) but I had a very few weird hours wondering how I was going to get my parcel back from the dog walker!

Not a CF
A straight up fucking thief.
What sort of thick twat steals from their own neighbour who has a ring doorbell?

Something similar hapened to me some years ago. Parcel delivered to NDN who made no attempt to bring it round or inform me. Located by speaking to courier. Went round with burly relative. When she denied all knowledge of parcel relative gets out phone and suggests she consult other family members before he calls police, She goes inside and there is a loud conversation in another language and lots of yelling. NDN re-emerges with package unwrapped and my expensive fabric hanging out. Relative and I now start on her for potential theft and relative begins to dial police. NDN bursts into tears and sobs that its a misunderstanding. I tell her that I will take no further action on this occasion but am going to inform postie an all couriers about her dishonesty. Therafter when I expected a parcel I would pin a note on door - do not leave at no X, not honest.

NDN has now moved in with relatives.

Im expecting a DHL tomorrow with some expensive jewellery so I will be watching it like a hawk. I have a ring camera and cctv so no chance of any delivery van not being noticed. DHL give a potential 2 hour slot then send a further email when they are about 3 stops away so I can watch the cameras while at my workstation. Alexa will also show my doorbell on the TV, tablet and phones.

She's a total thief. I'd be tempted to call the police tbh! Laughed over the dog though, she thinks quick even if unfeasible.

Yeah, that’s straight out taking the piss. Have you ever challenged them and asked them to change it?

In this instance i think you’ve earned that Lebkuchen for all the times you’ve had to return their mail. Enjoy!

Our regular delivery person said he likes our road because everyone is nice and he can trust the neighbours to take in parcels so it makes his life easier!

A long time ago when I bought a house from some shitty people who left the house in a mess, Their post continued to arrive as they didn’t pay for re delivery. I marked it up and put back in postbox. Couple of months later a parcel arrived. Put it on the side in the kitchen.
A few days later old owners arrived. Asking aggressively where their post and their parcel was. Said it was an expensive dog item and no good to me so why was I keeping it?! I handed over their untouched parcel and said I had no idea what it was as I don’t steal. And I had returned their post as I had no other choice. Not a word of apology or thanks.
(I also had a debt collector turn up for them a few months later and was very helpful providing their new address).

@Patiencerunningthin put a note on your door- laminated and securely fixed- saying “Do not deliver to number 5, she is a parcel stealing thief”.

I would definitely post this online and contact every single neighbour on your street and on any nearby streets detailing what had happened.

@Patiencerunningthinihate to make this serious but have you looked up ‘cuckooing’? I’d ring the non emergency number anonymously.

It’s gone beyond cheeky I think!!!

I do the same.

i also don’t think everyone is aware how clear and accurate ring doorbells are. I didn’t realise until my neighbour showed me hers. We got one and it’s been brilliant. Very clear colour images and sharp audio.

Let's be clear, your neighbour isn't a CF (well I have no doubt that she is, in general) in this instance. She's a common thief.

@ArcticGrass I work in safeguarding so aware what you mean. They are too daft to try anything as sophisticated as cuckooing. I’d be concerned if other sensible family weren’t regular visitors.
When the elderly owner dies we are preparing ourselves for the family fallout as these 2 clowns will think they deserve the house as a given. There will be fireworks.

I must admit that when the place round the corner continually orders takeouts that end up at my place it would be tempting to keep them.

Or it would if it wasn't for the fact that most of them would probably be freezing cold tasteless slop.