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Original poster

Something nicer than chocs/wine but similar?

67 replies

Bookpage · 04/12/2025 12:13

🤣

For BF's parents, sprightly late 70s.

Last Christmas we were newly together and I as invited for Boxing Day buffet. BF said not to take gifts, which thankfully I didn't completely heed and took wine and flowers, as his mum got me two lovely gift sets - the kind of thing that often looks lovely but you don't actually use, whereas I have used everything in these.

I'm going to a similar thing this year and would like to take "something" although TBH I don't really know them any better than I did last year.

Also he has a teenage niece, who currently thinks she's a boy. A token for them? I think the best I can do is a higher end selection pack?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Specialagentblond · 04/12/2025 12:15

hamper?

Lebkuched · 04/12/2025 12:15

Panettone, sparkly candle, cheese board with cheese selection?

For niece I’d get a cinema voucher

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 04/12/2025 12:17

Nice florentines from M&S. Makes a change from chocolates

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Christmas General shopping
LifeInAHamsterWheel · 04/12/2025 12:33

A nice potted poinsettia? A luxury candle or diffuser?

ScoutOfTheSoftHeartsClub · 04/12/2025 12:54

Depends on their interests, but in that situation I’d consider:

Very good EV olive oil - if they like to cook. Bought for the oil, not the container.

A bare root rose - if they’re gardeners and open to garden gifts.

Newly published, maybe prizewinning books - if they’re readers.

Cinema voucher is an inspired choice for the niece. (As long as it’s for a good cinema that’s local to them.)

PermanentTemporary · 04/12/2025 12:58

Ooh @ScoutOfTheSoftHeartsClub nailed it. Posting to keep track of these suggestions.

Gastropod · 04/12/2025 12:59

Orchid? In a nice pot?

Or something small/consumable along with a reusable container or recipient for it, e.g. nice coffee and a mug, olives and a ceramic pot/dish to serve them, etc.

Umy15r03lcha1 · 04/12/2025 13:03

A decent wedge of cheese and fancy crackers

Dontbeatwat · 04/12/2025 13:11

A really nice round wooden board, the kind that can be used for display or a serving dish. Then some really nice food bits from M&S - cheese, crackers, chocs, maybe a candle or reed diffuser. Wrap in cellophane and tie with a lovely bow. Bit like a gift hamper but more personalised, and looks really pretty.

ScoutOfTheSoftHeartsClub · 04/12/2025 13:23

Sorry to be picky but - why, really, would a mature couple want to receive a solo mug?

@Bookpage I would avoid supermarket / Boots gift packs. Scour the broadsheets online for slightly more ambitious (and up to date) ideas.

I’m in my mid sixties - if one of the younger generation’s partners were bringing a gift I’d be impressed by:

Islay single malt whisky (if the young person has a very well paid graduate job!)

Newly published volumes of poetry, or fiction in translation. (The smartest budget choice.)

A selection from The Tinned Fish Market (impossible to get that wrong as long as no octopus included).

I would not be impressed by generic, bog standard supermarket pot plants, or cheese platters, or biscuits …

TFImBackIn · 04/12/2025 13:39

Your boyfriend sound a bit useless! Can't he suggest something based on what they enjoy doing/eating/drinking or whatever? Did he take them a gift?

ScoutOfTheSoftHeartsClub · 04/12/2025 13:43

I’ve experienced boyfriends who have no idea of simple etiquette or politeness in this context. One told me, after I’d spent most of an Easter vacation at his parents’ home, that they wouldn’t expect a thank you note. I followed his advice - and his mother still hadn’t forgiven me a decade later …

VenusClapTrap · 04/12/2025 13:46

I second the suggestion of a rose.

Original poster
Bookpage · 04/12/2025 13:48

ScoutOfTheSoftHeartsClub · 04/12/2025 13:43

I’ve experienced boyfriends who have no idea of simple etiquette or politeness in this context. One told me, after I’d spent most of an Easter vacation at his parents’ home, that they wouldn’t expect a thank you note. I followed his advice - and his mother still hadn’t forgiven me a decade later …

I think in this case it would have been absolutely fine if I'd taken nothing, but I was glad I hadn't.

OP posts:
Dontbeatwat · 04/12/2025 13:52

ScoutOfTheSoftHeartsClub · 04/12/2025 13:23

Sorry to be picky but - why, really, would a mature couple want to receive a solo mug?

@Bookpage I would avoid supermarket / Boots gift packs. Scour the broadsheets online for slightly more ambitious (and up to date) ideas.

I’m in my mid sixties - if one of the younger generation’s partners were bringing a gift I’d be impressed by:

Islay single malt whisky (if the young person has a very well paid graduate job!)

Newly published volumes of poetry, or fiction in translation. (The smartest budget choice.)

A selection from The Tinned Fish Market (impossible to get that wrong as long as no octopus included).

I would not be impressed by generic, bog standard supermarket pot plants, or cheese platters, or biscuits …

Edited

You sound like a nightmare potential MIL.

Original poster
Bookpage · 04/12/2025 13:52

TFImBackIn · 04/12/2025 13:39

Your boyfriend sound a bit useless! Can't he suggest something based on what they enjoy doing/eating/drinking or whatever? Did he take them a gift?

Yes, he gave them gifts on Christmas Day (I was there Boxing Day) but they're a family who send Amazon links to each other, sonthey all know what to get. His Mum's having a new Fitbit this Christmas.

I'm sure his parents, like mine would say don't get me anything and mean it.

I don't have a problem with someone being "rubbish" at gifts. IME people who spend a lot of time on thoughtful gifts rarely hit the mark anyway. His mother's gifts to me were good precisely because she got something generic and useful.

OP posts:
ScoutOfTheSoftHeartsClub · 04/12/2025 13:56

People are allowed to have preferences, @Dontbeatwat! 😄 And expressing them on an anonymous forum is very different to how one behaves in real life.

AllJoyAndNoFun · 04/12/2025 14:04

I wouldn’t take perishable/Christmassy food on Boxing Day because people are trying to get through what they bought, not add to the mountain. However, by the same token I’d probably stick to consumables as you don’t know them very well. I’d either stick to wine and flowers or do a candle or nice olive oil- something that is used up but doesn’t have a short shelf life.. The rose is a lovely idea but there is a school of thought that it’s rude to buy people plants for the garden as it confers an obligation on them ( again I think this falls into it’s fine if you know them well enough to know if they’d like it or be “man this rose is the wrong colour and now I have to look after it.”)

For the niece, cash in a card. No teenager hates cash.

Dontbeatwat · 04/12/2025 14:08

ScoutOfTheSoftHeartsClub · 04/12/2025 13:56

People are allowed to have preferences, @Dontbeatwat! 😄 And expressing them on an anonymous forum is very different to how one behaves in real life.

Of course you're allowed preferences!! But surely you'd be appreciative of most reasonable gifts that were brought for you as a host - and by most people's standards, a decent bottle of wine and nice chocolates are a perfectly acceptable gift. If someone I barely knew brought me newly published volumes of poetry, I'd think they were a pretentious prat 😂.

BadgernTheGarden · 04/12/2025 14:16

Something consumable for 70 year old they have all the wooden boards, mugs and knick-knacks they want or need. Chocolate, cheese, flowers, smellies, wine, champagne, port or sherry or something stronger if you know what they like.

MartinCrieffsHat · 04/12/2025 14:22

No houseplants or garden plants. No fancy olive oil. No candles, mugs or smellies.

I'd buy consumables that are not short life, and of the slightly more luxurious than usual but not too fancy variety.

Gardener82 · 04/12/2025 14:22

A hamper, I got one at Tkmaxx last week for £15 and google
suggested the same hamper would be £35 elsewhere.
They had loads, crackers with chutneys, or mince pie /chocolate ones.
I added a bottle of Baileys in the gift bag, it’s £10 a bottle at the moment in Tesco.
For the niece I’d get a selection box and a one 4 all voucher.

sprigatito · 04/12/2025 14:24

ScoutOfTheSoftHeartsClub · 04/12/2025 13:23

Sorry to be picky but - why, really, would a mature couple want to receive a solo mug?

@Bookpage I would avoid supermarket / Boots gift packs. Scour the broadsheets online for slightly more ambitious (and up to date) ideas.

I’m in my mid sixties - if one of the younger generation’s partners were bringing a gift I’d be impressed by:

Islay single malt whisky (if the young person has a very well paid graduate job!)

Newly published volumes of poetry, or fiction in translation. (The smartest budget choice.)

A selection from The Tinned Fish Market (impossible to get that wrong as long as no octopus included).

I would not be impressed by generic, bog standard supermarket pot plants, or cheese platters, or biscuits …

Edited

Tinned fish? Bleugh 🤮

LittleJustice · 04/12/2025 14:30

How about a really nice bottle of flavored gin or similar there's some really beautiful bottles about nowadays and spirits are always very useful to have in

ScoutOfTheSoftHeartsClub · 04/12/2025 14:40

Honestly, @Dontbeatwat (and acknowledging this thread is not about me) I’ve never once as an adult not accepted a gift with good grace. You smile and say thank you and try to show that it’s appreciated. Of course. It really doesn’t matter if a gift from a stranger or acquaintance is a bit undistinguished.

And it was the OP who rejected wine and chocolates, not me!