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Original poster

Management jobs are so much tougher than I thought

8 replies

Waterhorse46 · 03/12/2025 20:35

Currently in a management position. It’s so unbelievably demanding. When I took it I had no idea that it would be quite as challenging as it is. I really do feel drained constantly by it and the money might be great but I have consisdered just stepping down.

Constantky under scrutiny, trying to meet deadlines, knowing everyone will mean about me behind my back no matter what decision I make. It’s so tiring. Even management above me always feel like they’re against me and I’ve had little to no support.

Im absolutely burnt out. This was just a mini rant/hope that others also know this feeling and how relentless it is.

OP posts:
Bjorkdidit · 03/12/2025 20:50

Which is why I'm not in management despite my department currently having several vacancies, me being one of the experienced, competent and knowledgeable people we have and lots of people hinting that I should apply.

Fuck that, for a the reasons you say, plus everyone else's problems being yours to solve as well as having to deal with the piss takers and incompetents who think its OK to do the job they're paid for only if they feel like it and it doesn’t inconvenience their personal life.

Original poster
Waterhorse46 · 03/12/2025 20:56

Bjorkdidit · 03/12/2025 20:50

Which is why I'm not in management despite my department currently having several vacancies, me being one of the experienced, competent and knowledgeable people we have and lots of people hinting that I should apply.

Fuck that, for a the reasons you say, plus everyone else's problems being yours to solve as well as having to deal with the piss takers and incompetents who think its OK to do the job they're paid for only if they feel like it and it doesn’t inconvenience their personal life.

YES and the guilt I’m forced to feel if I choose to leave on time. God forbid I have other commitments. The money is great. But I don’t have much joy spending it when I resent each working day of my life and wonder whether or not to call in sick

OP posts:
GumFossil · 03/12/2025 21:01

Sounds awful.

It’s not my experience, I’m pleased to say. I manage a largish team, predominantly professionals but with a few admin too. I don’t feel I am under undue scrutiny, just the appropriate level of accountability. I am also very confident that the whole team like and respect me.

I like the challenges my job brings. I am lucky that my director is fantastic and also my team are too. I recruited almost all of them, so I take some pride there.

WalterMittysPuppet · 03/12/2025 21:17

I've had good and bad experiences, and the worst is what you describe! Much of it is "luck" and the personalities of those you are managing - I discovered early on that some people take pleasure in being peevish, obstructive and difficult arseholes because they can (and mummy never parented them so they don't like being told what to do). But I was also completely disarmed by a grovelling apologiser, I was supposed to be bollocking him for being shit at his job and he virtually fell to his knees - I was totally wrongfooted!

On the other hand, managing a mature team where issues are raised promptly without unnecessary drama, and where people enjoy the work and want to progress without nitpicking every perceived slight, can be very rewarding.

I recommend finding some inspiring podcasts, books or TED talks about positive leadership, and take some of the advice on board. I was - still am - a believer in "fake it till you make it" (sorry, tired old trope) - management doesn't come naturally to me (I'm passive and a natural follower, not a leader). So I channel someone I know and admire for their leadership skills. What would they do in X situation? What would they say, what would be their tone and body language?

It's hard though. Can you take a few days off to recharge and rethink your strategy?

Original poster
Waterhorse46 · 03/12/2025 21:24

WalterMittysPuppet · 03/12/2025 21:17

I've had good and bad experiences, and the worst is what you describe! Much of it is "luck" and the personalities of those you are managing - I discovered early on that some people take pleasure in being peevish, obstructive and difficult arseholes because they can (and mummy never parented them so they don't like being told what to do). But I was also completely disarmed by a grovelling apologiser, I was supposed to be bollocking him for being shit at his job and he virtually fell to his knees - I was totally wrongfooted!

On the other hand, managing a mature team where issues are raised promptly without unnecessary drama, and where people enjoy the work and want to progress without nitpicking every perceived slight, can be very rewarding.

I recommend finding some inspiring podcasts, books or TED talks about positive leadership, and take some of the advice on board. I was - still am - a believer in "fake it till you make it" (sorry, tired old trope) - management doesn't come naturally to me (I'm passive and a natural follower, not a leader). So I channel someone I know and admire for their leadership skills. What would they do in X situation? What would they say, what would be their tone and body language?

It's hard though. Can you take a few days off to recharge and rethink your strategy?

I’m working with one of the directors to refine my approach. At first I was very much in my head about it because I really didn’t want to be supported from someone so high up. It felt like more of a targeted issue against me. But actually, surprisingly I am slowly learning what to do and what not to do. I’m very blunt so I think the issue is mainly that I don’t feel emotions as quickly as others.

OP posts:
Crinkle77 · 03/12/2025 21:36

Be fair, consistent, don't show favouritism, be understanding and flexible then I don't see how the staff you manage can hate you and moan about behind your back. If they are, perhaps you're doing something wrong. If not you need to speak to find out what the issues are and try and resolve them. You may need to do something about your bluntness.

HereForTheFreeLunch · 03/12/2025 22:42

Any recommendations of books, TED talks etc? @WalterMittysPuppet

I am struggling with my bunch at the moment and really need to rethink my approach.

TalulahJP · 03/12/2025 22:46

It’s a living hell. I wouldn’t do it again for all the tea in china.

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