How about a 'safe zone' where you can get it off your chest before you see them? Come on, let rip. A nice anonymous rant about some twat you won't be able to avoid.
I'll go first: My f-ing brother in law, who I will be stuck with the whole of Boxing Day.
- Thinks he's hilarious (he isn't). Makes toe-curlingly awful jokes that even my 12-year-old niece rolls her eyes at.
- Disagrees with everything you say, just for the sake of it.
- Treats every discussion as an argument that he has to win.
- Talks at you about the things that interest him (i.e rugby, his car and his job).
- Doesn't listen to anything you say and makes it perfectly clear that you are boring him (yawning, checking his phone), yet thinks every word that comes out of his mouth is fascinating (why wouldn't you want to hear how much traffic there was at junction 19 or how clever he was to have found a shortcut?).
- Takes his socks off and puts his feet on the coffee table.
- Eats like a pig (bangs his fork against his teeth, smacks his lips together, etc).
- Laughs suddenly and loudly at pretty much any joke anyone makes on the TV.
Phew...that's better.