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Offering to pay for petrol - what's the form in the UK?

15 replies

throway · 01/12/2025 16:12

In my home country, you don't really offer to pay for petrol when someone is giving you a lift. You'd definitely return the favour in another way - buy them a drink, give them some fruit from your garden, look over their child's CV, that type of thing - but offering money could be seen as anything from slightly weird to downright offensive.

However, I have a German friend who will always tell me exactly how much I owe her in petrol when she gives me a lift. I've never actually asked her to give me a lift, it's more a scenario where she'll say, "I'm going to X shopping mall this afternoon, fancy joining?" and then she'll tell me how much I need to chip in for petrol and parking (although she would've made the exact same trip without me). It's always felt a bit mean to me but I suppose there are good sides to being pragmatic about money rather than getting wrapped up in endless favours.

What's the form in the UK? We recently moved somewhere rural and I have yet to pass my driving test. I would never ask for a lift unless it was a really good friend (or an absolute emergency and I couldn't get a taxi), but I've had two or three situations where someone has said, "I'm going to X town tomorrow, fancy joining?" and I'm honestly not sure what to do about the petrol question. I don't want to offend them but I also don't want to be a freeloader!

I was going to get them a Christmas present to say thank you anyway, as I appreciate the lift in and of itself, but then it dawned on me today that they're also paying for petrol (as a non-driver, it simply hadn't occurred to me before).

OP posts:
Prelim · 01/12/2025 16:13

Pay for the parking if it’s pay and display. You can always offer some money for petrol (the majority will say no), but say you’ll get some coffees/tea when you’re out.

TokyoSushi · 01/12/2025 16:13

If I drive then my friend would usually buy the first drink, or buy me a coffee or similar.

Recently I had to ask a friend to take DD to an activity for 3 weeks (with her DD) - I gave DD a box of Celebrations to give to her on the last lift.

TokyoSushi · 01/12/2025 16:14

Yes, they might also pay for parking too if we weren't going to somewhere you'd buy a drink or similar, regardless, you'd try to do 'something' unless it was a negligible journey.

throway · 01/12/2025 16:19

Thank you all! Good to know, that makes sense.

Parking hasn't come up yet but I'll keep it in mind for future journeys.

OP posts:
TheCryingTheBitchAndTheFloordrobe · 01/12/2025 16:22

If someone offered a lift and I wanted to accept I’d just say something like “Oh yeah, that sounds great, thanks. Happy to pitch in for petrol, of course”! Then they can accept or decline and if they decline I do them another favour as above like getting the parking or drinks.

Shinyandnew1 · 01/12/2025 16:32

I'm going to X shopping mall this afternoon, fancy joining?" and then she'll tell me how much I need to chip in for petrol and parking

If I wanted to go to X, then I'd go and be happy to pay the parking.

If I didn't want to go, I'd say no.

Growlybear83 · 01/12/2025 16:38

I would never ever accept any money for petrol or parking!

Reification · 01/12/2025 16:40

I'd say it depends whether you're inconveniencing the lift giver and whether it's a long journey.

If they offer the lift to somewhere fairly local (under half an hour) you walk to theirs/ they drop you off somewhere genuinely on their route, and you're joining them on a journey they're making anyway, at the time they are going whether you're there or not, then I would expect the offer of petrol money to be completely redundant.

As soon as you're asking them to divert to pick you up and drop you off, or if it's a favour you're asking, or if it's a long journey and the objective is to share costs and you genuinely want to go, you offer to split 50/50.

Obviously if it's the driver's suggestion only join them if you actually want to - if you don't want to split the cost of a two hour drive then you probably don't really want to go.

Tiredoutnurse · 01/12/2025 16:44

Just don’t accept lifts from anyone British even if they offer. They are arseholes about lifts and will throw it back in your face one day.

TheCryingTheBitchAndTheFloordrobe · 01/12/2025 16:50

Growlybear83 · 01/12/2025 16:38

I would never ever accept any money for petrol or parking!

I wouldn’t either probably but I wouldn’t be offended if someone offered.

I think sometimes letting someone pay for something small or ‘repay’ a favour in some way makes them feel like they can accept more easily in future. Otherwise it’s too unbalanced and almost nobody likes to feel beholden.

Nomoreink · 01/12/2025 16:54

Surely it depends on how far?
ten minutes - no.

two hours - yes pay half petrol.

IAmKerplunk · 01/12/2025 19:24

The only times my friends and I have split petrol costs is if we were going some distance out of town e.g seaside for the day or a concert. Then it would just naturally come up in conversation of oh who is driving? Then we would probably each throw in £x -just because if there are 4/5 of us it is easier.

My dd is 20 and her and her friends are constantly transferring each other a fiver here and a fiver there for lifts - but that’s because they don’t have much money and certainly don’t buy drinks when they are out!

MrsKateColumbo · 01/12/2025 19:29

If it was a few hours away I might split it, but if I were giving a lift a local length distance the conversation would be a back and forth of (them) "i insist i pay"
(Me)"no dont be silly, I dont want any money" ad naseum

Silverbirchleaf · 01/12/2025 19:32

Nomoreink · 01/12/2025 16:54

Surely it depends on how far?
ten minutes - no.

two hours - yes pay half petrol.

I agree.

Also, if they regularly give you lifts to a club etc, then you offer petrol. Maybe not every week, but at the end of a term etc.

reluctantbrit · 01/12/2025 19:42

I am German and unless lots has changed over the last years, I never had this.

If it is a one-off I offer to pay for parking or pay for a drink/coffee etc. If it is a regular thing I would offer money towards petrol.

A longer trip like a shared day out, I would either give money towards petrol or pay entry fee/lunch or anything else substantial.

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