My mum was emotionally and physically abusive towards me as a child. My dad was also physically abusive but not emotionally.
My mum favoured partying to looking after me, even when I had swine flu I was left alone. It's like she just couldn't prioritise me, she is still the same now tbh. I never felt loved by either of them however I do have contact with my dad now.
There's a constant up and down in mine and my mother's relationship. She will say things and I will cut her off then let her back in etc. Since I have a 7yo dd this has meant its affected their contact too. Although they never spent time alone and I was always there. She's never babysat or anything like that or had her over to her house.
We haven't physically seen my mother in a year.
She was allowed to be on facetime with my dd and I up until a few months back. I kept allowing her in when I really shouldn't have.
Anyway, I now have occasional phone calls with her without dd if there is something to discuss but otherwise I am no contact. Dd is no contact.
Yesterday she called me and said to me, 'I'm so worried. I think she is grieving.' I said, 'what?' And she responded with, 'I think dd is grieving me.'
Today she said, 'every year I watch dd open her advent calendars. Can you facetime me later?' (She doesn't) I said, 'no.' She said, 'that's awful of you. So unfair.'
BTW dd hasn't even mentioned my mum or her watching her open said advent calendars.
Is this emotional blackmail? She does it every time I speak to her tbh but these were just two stand-out comments.