Big life change and I need some encouragement / words of wisdom please…

[Thinkingaloud85]

I’m about to turn 40 and am afraid I’m blowing my life up in some sort of mid life crisis.

I am moving to the other side of the country, to be closer to my mom and dad, who are 77 and 81, and my brother and his family.

I decided this was a good idea because:

• I will get to enjoy more time with my parents while they are in good health.
• I will spend less time alone.
• I will have a fresh start at work (just fancied a change).
• I will have the chance to build a better social life (currently limited as very rural).
• I will be able to buy a nicer house (more affordable and more options).
• Spirit of adventure - just feeling life had got a bit predictable and samey.

BUT, now the time to move is getting closer, I am starting to feel that I am destroying the life I have painstakingly built for no reason in a monumental act of self sabotage. I love my job and am good at it! I have lovely colleagues who are also friends! I could have a better social life if I was more proactive. There is nothing whatever wrong with my house, it is not perfect, but it’s in a lovely area, nice neighbours and it would be so much easier and cheaper to stay put. It has taken me 10 years to put down roots here and reach the place I’m in today. And all for what? I’m about to throw it all away.

I am just in a spin. Everyone is saying how much they will miss me and being so nice to me, I’m appreciating all that I enjoy about my job and colleagues and I’m starting to feel like I am a fool to walk away from it all.

ARGH!! Anyone ever done anything like this or have any words of wisdom😞?

I don't see this as being a midlife crisis. I see this as being a brilliant moment of wisdom.

You say your life has started to feel same old same old. That your work has become boring. That your house is expensive. That you're feeling socially isolated living in a rural location. That you're tired of being alone. That you don't get to see your family.

It sounds to me that you thought this all out. If you feel that you can afford to move, and change jobs, and you have a good relationship with your family and you'd like to see more of them while they're still active, oh my gosh, totally do it!

If I lived closer I'd help you pack! Life is too short for regrets. I'm sure you've had a good time where you were, but when life is no longer giving you joy, it's time to take a good long look and make some changes and it sounds like you're considering these large changes but with both eyes open.

Do it! Make 2026 your best year yet!

If your gut sent you towards your older parents you’ve a good gut!! I personally would love to do this, I’m at the mo figuring how to change job so I get back to seeing my family more

Thank you! 🙏
I felt excited about it when I first found I had got the job and could make the move happen, but it’s been ebbing away quickly as I face up to all the positives that I will be walking away from and all the unknowns in my future. I needed your dose of positivity and optimism!

Thank you x I hope you manage to make it happen for yourself; if it’s right for you, I’m sure you will find a way :-)

Thinkingaloud85

Everything crossed! Is a pity because I have a decent enough pros list to stay but even saying that my gut is saying’yes but it’s better you go!’ Best of luck with it all, it sounds great👏

Around about your age I moved from the West Country to Scotland. I was excited to move, but on the last drive home after leaving work I was in floods of tears and I couldn’t believe I’d made such a monumental choice. Twenty five years on I’ve had a brilliant time here in Scotland. Loads of things went, not wrong exactly but not as I’d planned, but on the whole it was the best thing I’ve done. Good luck! You’ve got this!

Just moving away from somewhere very rural is a good enough reason. You say you’ve put down roots but also that you need more of a social life. Make the move and enjoy your new life. Good luck!

We made a similar move but to a different country this year. Once the departure date drew near, everyone was so sad we were going, I started to think WFT have we done, we have a lovely life here and good people, all this disruption for what? But if we didn't go and cancelled it, I would regret for the rest of time - I'd always wonder what would have happened if we had gone through with it. Give it a couple of years and you can always move back if it turns out to be a mistake.

Gosh, we did similar and had exactly this. Everyone was so lovely when they found out we were moving and a place where we’d felt like we didn’t really fit in and had no friends suddenly seemed completely different.
It did wobble us but we went ahead and moved and it has been brilliant. It is such fun to live somewhere new and have lots of new nearby places to visit and walks to go on at the weekend, Our new house was beautiful (and much smaller mortgage.)

I think what you are feeling is natural but don’t forget what you originally thought and also that you can still keep in touch with the old people. Go in with a positive mindset that you’ll make it work and it’ll be fine!
Xxx

All your reasons for moving seem valid and reasonable so I wouldn't call this a crisis.

That's the list of reasons to stay?