Friends with no kids

[KindOtter]

little bit of a long story…
my friends (who are sisters) who I’ve known for 20 years, is now currently at a different part of life then me. Myself 25F, I have a 19 month old and hopefully another on the way soon and I have a place of my own. My friends are 25F & 27F are still living at parents house and no kids.
we've recently come to a bit of a disagreement when it comes to meeting up.
They don’t like my partner and vice versa so they have said they don’t feel comfortable coming over to my house even when invited. I also don’t feel comfortable taking my 19 month old to their house, for multiple reasons however the biggest one being their house isn’t baby proofed and they are hoarders (I am a clean freak) I have suggested we go elsewhere with my son (e.g. park, kids indoor play areas, walks) so I can better appreciate our time together as friends and he can still enjoy himself but it seemed they weren’t happy with that compromise as it’s not something they would enjoy.
they still go out drinking most weekends or at least the 25F does, which means she doesn’t wake up until the afternoon times and then by the time she’s actually ready to see me it’s too late.
I don’t have a problem with the type of lifestyle that they have because everyone is their own person but I don’t want to be made to feel bad for choosing the best for my family, especially my child.

can anyone let me know if I’m right for thinking and feeling the way I do or if Im being too strict and I should relax a bit?

Mountain and mole hill come to mind.

I don't have children. It in no way makes me inferior to my friends with children. The superiority seeps through in your first post, heaven forbid a 25 and 27 year old still go out drinking or live with their parents. You chose your life and settling down with a kid and a partner, they chose theirs. Neither is better than the other.

When we go out if my friend brings her baby, we find something suitable. We will go to a restaurant that is suitable for babies in high chairs and do it during the day.

We don't go to soft play or hang around in kids play parks. How boring for your friends.

Of course some people have childless friends that are interested in their children.

But this OP has friends that have no interest in even slightly baby proofing their house, don't want to go on a child friendly outing and are not prepared to modify their lifestyle to enable a meeting during the day. It doesn't sound like they are that excited about seeing her child.

Childless friends that want to see a friend's child, realise that working round the child is necessary and adapt accordingly.

I wouldn’t assume your friends want to see that much of your son, an occasional meeting would suffice, nor would I expect single women in their 20s to hang out at children’s’ activity venues. Seeing your friends without your son seems the obvious solution.

Have you tried family friendly pubs? The ones where there is a play area? Also It’s easer in the summer, beer gardens!

I thought the same thing…. 25 and 27 are still very young so good on them for enjoying their life. You do you and let them do them.

assumimg you have your own place because you bought it and are mortgage free?

is your partner your husband?

Why is it unfair? It’s his child,

go to a child museums or an activity that you can all engage when you take him with you. Play cafe?

ive never baby proofed my house for a visiting child. Is that a thing? and I am over run with god children

I remove breakable items from child level when I have a visiting small child (example- a vase on the fire surround). I would consider this to be moving breakable items to avoid accidents, rather than child proofing but it's basically the same thing. I assumed it was this sort of thing that OP was referring to. If she means full blown babyproofing then yes, entirely unreasonable to expect it in a house you only visit very occasionally.

This happens. If they always want to meet over naptime and not in a suitable place then you will have to leave them for a bit and concentrate on Mum friends. They are at a different stage of life and no one is in the wrong. But they have to be willing to compromise if they want to see you because your life is harder to organise than theirs. Why don't they like your partner? What is wrong with him?

they live at their parents. baby proofing their parents house for a monthly catch up with a baby is ridiculous. I would never expect friends to baby proof their house for my kids unless they were doing paid childcare!

they're clearly keen to see baby, just not a soft play
that's reasonable
op also needs to adjust and find a middle ground, aka a coffee shop.

of course the fleeting issue is why they dislike her partner so much

Sometimes people can be supportive if you're a different life stage/make different choices, but some aren't. It seems really strange they won't come round because of your partner-surely he can go in a different room if you're meeting friends, and I don't think I'd regularly want to see friends who were like this about my partner.
Everyone's different, but I wouldn't want to be be going out late often when my child was that small, and would hope my friends would be ok about the fact I wouldn't want to meet up super often without my child/partner. I'm not saying never, and I never abandoned good friends (and they were always supportive of my partner), but I did find things changed a bit in the early child years, and often found mums tended to spend more time with other parents. Child proofing, soft play etc is just easier. Some friends stay forever, some I found were just for a season (and ones that didn't like the man I'd chosen to have a child with would be in this group, but I'd certainly be there for real friends even if they're not baby fans). Not saying everyone has to agree.

Kids’ activities are not enjoyable for a group of friends in their mid-20s. Of course your friends are going out drinking - why on earth wouldn’t they? They’re 25 and 27. They’re enjoying their lives. And LOL at your annoyance that they haven’t childproofed their homes - why the fuck would anyone childproof their home when they don’t have young children?!

I would be focusing on why your friends dislike your partner so much that they don’t feel comfortable in your home. What is it they’re uncomfortable with? Do they perhaps have a point?