Taking dd12 and her friend to the city

[NotQuiteUsual]

So Monday is an inset day for DD. She wants to go to the city with her friend. Which is absolutely fine, but what I'm not sure about is how to supervise them. They're getting older and have their phones. But even on a Monday it's super busy! Should I be staying with them the whole time still. Or just keeping them updated where I am and letting them get on with it? I don't know the friends parents so can't ask them what level of supervision they're comfortable with either.

Dd is my eldest if you can't tell! This stuff is all new to me.

It depends on the city. We live just on the outskirts of a small city and I wouldn’t supervise at all if the kids wanted to go out together at 12. I would just advise that they must stay together and keep their phones close so they are contactable. That’s it and being home for tea.

If they don’t know the city well/haven’t really done this before then I would go and have a coffee in the area whilst they roam around and shop. That way you’re close by and available should they need anything but still giving them freedom.

Well we lived in London when kids were that age, they were allowed to travel into oxford street or Camden with friends if they stayed together but they had been getting tube/bus to school alone since start of year 7.
If they havent traverled alone , I would maybe take them in and set up camp in a coffee shop so they know where you are, tell them.to check in every hour or so?

The coffee shop idea is a good one. We're from a small town where you can't do anything without everyone knowing. They're new to traveling alone too. Also rather self importantly I'm known as the 'cool' mum and usually they've wanted me along. So it's new all round.

The city is Newcastle. So it's quite spread out but nothing like London or anything crazy.

For me, it would depend on how well they know the city and how confident they are.

I don't know Newcastle at all but if it's spread out, then I would probably go with them to the first area they want to explore, find a coffee shop with them, tell them that's where you'll be staying and let them go off and explore.

When they come and find you, move on and do the same for a different part of the city.

Well all this wondering about what to do and DD asked me to stay with them because she's not confident.

That's rather sweet. Make the most of still being the cool mum.

12 is about the age when my dd would go out with me but then needed me to walk way behind her if she spotted someone from school to avoid the hideously embarrassing possibility of being seen out with her mum.

I would maybe get them in a shopping centre then leave them to it for 45 minutes, go and get a coffee. As long as they don’t leave the centre it’s fine I think. It’s good for them to stretch their legs a bit.

We are also in a small town but mine both went into the next city with friends at that age; it’s good for their confidence and life skills.

How lovely to be the cool mum, long may it continue

As theyve asked you to stick around, maybe do that for the morning and then encourage them off on their own together after lunch? Hopefully they will feel more confident and will have their bearings after a couple of hours

We went to Newcastle on Thursday.. Full of druggies... No way would they be left to roam at 12...we were also approached several times by people selling stolen goods...

Hello,
We live in Newcastle and the general thing for “first unattended shopping” was to go to the Metro Centre (rather than town) as it’s all indoors, and if you go and sit in Costa near one of the central parts it’s easy for them to find you.
Did this with both my girls (as was recommended by friends with older kids too).

At that age I so t think I'd want them wondering around a city center. I think a shopping center would be best

Go to Haymarket or Monument Station. You can go and have coffee in Fenwcks and they can go to Primark and T K Maxx.

I've been to Newcastle about 1000 times over the last 30 years or more (I was there yesterday). I've never once seen anyone selling stolen goods or been approached by anyone who was. Yes there are lots of people living on the streets and/or drug users but I've never seen any problems with them at all. It's busy at the moment with the Christmas market and the kids will be absolutely fine.

Op, I would just have regular check-in points e.g. meet at the Monument or Primark at 11am and 1pm and make sure phones are charged (maybe a powerbank too). Ensure they know what to do if they can't reach you. Maybe write your number down for both of them so they can go into a shop to ask for help if needed. They'll have a great time. I went to Newcastle with friends and solo at that age.

My childhood was in Newcastle.. It has definitely changed sadly.