Talk to me about engagements!

[CurlewKate]

It’s many years since anyone I know has got engaged and I’ve never been engaged myself-but my dd has just announced hers! I’m going to write to her lovely new fiancé, but is it usual to do presents? Help!

How lovely! I gave dd a token house warming present, a butter dish. My mum still has the pie bird her dad gave her 60 years ago! A welcome to the family letter or card to her fiancé would be lovely. Will you be involved or funding the wedding?

Thank you! They’ve been living together for years so don’t need house stuff. I’m assuming we’ll be contributing to the wedding and I am sure we’ll be involved. But it’s all new territory for me. I might send his parents some flowers and leave any presents for them for a while.

Love the idea of a pie bird though. I might steal that idea!

When my son got engaged they didn’t need house stuff. We bought them a set of 4 Waterford crystal wine glasses.

I just gave cards.

A card and flowers would cover it nicely. Champagne if they like it.

I don't think I'd bother writing a letter or sending flowers to his parents. I'd give the happy couple flowers and a card though :)

I didn't want or expect cards when we got engaged and can't imagine ever sending one. I've always saved that for the actual wedding other than a verbal congratulations.

I just sent mine a card and some personalised chocolates saying their names and are engaged. They had all household stuff and we will presumably be contributing a fair bit to the wedding.

Why not-do you think it would be over the top? My response to anything is a letter….

Our DD got engaged in the Summer, they have been living together for a few years so got the house stuff. We sent a personalised card & a small personalised gift with names/date. We’re expecting to be contributing to the wedding & will be very happy to do so.

This.

I wouldn't bother with a letter either, to be honest it seems a bit wierd to me that you want to write a letter to her fiancé. And why would you send flowers to his parents? They haven't got engaged!

It wasn’t expected but we contributed to the wedding and also bought a wedding gift.

To tell him how pleased we are and that we value him. And to share a happy day with them. But I’m an old hippy….

I messaged ds new fiancée mum to say how pleased we were but would not have sent a letter. We paid for ds and his fiancée to have a meal out and sent a card. It is very exciting

This is my thinking.

My dc got engaged last year and we got them a card, and did some oohing and aahing over the ring.

I WhatsApp fiancé's mum to say how pleased and excited we were. We live 5 hours apart so had only met them once.

My parents got us champagne and took us to dinner to celebrate. Congratulations x

Call me old-fashioned OP, but I love the idea of writing a "we're so pleased and welcome to the family" letter, that's really touching! Maybe run the content past your DD to avoid potential embarrassment?

I would have said this several years ago, however when I got engaged my MIL sent my mum a lovely card/message about me joining their family - my mum found it so kind, she also sent a card to my mum following the birth of our first child congratulating my mum on becoming a grandma.

I was brought up to write letters instead of sending cards so it’s kind of automatic for me. SIL to be has already had a couple on important events in his life, so it won’t be too much of a shock!

We got nothing from either set of parents on our engagement 🤣🫠 but I think a nice card to them would be a lovely idea and I’m sure they’d appreciate it. Both sets did send us a card at our wedding and one gave us a bottle of champagne at the wedding.

We got engaged just before Christmas and a friend gave us a little personalised Christmas tree decoration from Etsy which had “First Christmas engaged” and our names and the date on which was cute. We now have a matching one with “first Christmas married” and “first Christmas as a family of 3” ☺️
Just a little thing but they make us smile now every year we put up the tree and we have our little family milestones as well as baubles we’ve collected from various trips etc ☺️

I think it sounds lovely. If something comes from the heart, with good intentions, that generally comes across