Is anyone else just overwhelmed by how much nice stuff is available?

[EligibleTern]

I'm going to try my best to word this post properly as it's hard to explain exactly what I mean - but, has anyone else found that now that there are so many lovely things available, they just don't want any of them?

It feels like everything, from beauty products to items for the home, is so well-designed and beautifully packaged, with multi-item ranges that work harmoniously together, that it's just overwhelming. I remember when it felt special to find a lovely thing, but now there are millions of them from every corner (and unless it's genuinely handmade and locally sold, you can get anything anywhere - no more of that "bringing back something you can only get in X place" from a holiday anymore, you can just order it online when you get home), I've just stopped coveting things.

Similarly for merchandise for films and TV shows, etc., basically anything you're into - there seems to be official merchandise for EVERYTHING now, vast ranges of it, and it just feels like absolutely everything is as commodified as it could possibly get.

With Black Friday deals and Christmas coming up, I'm being bombarded with ads for beautiful things and am just thinking, "Oh no, what now," rather than "Ooh, that looks nice." Does anyone else feel like this - that goods in general have just lost their allure?

I can never find anything I want, or at least is worth the price.

I get the overwhelm though. I struggle in supermarkets when there's too much choice and any time when you need to pick one of 30 odd near identical things.

My tactic is to say that if it's hard to decide then they are all equally attractive choices so just pick one.

The last time I was in a few real shOP’s it was in august when I was with my dd looking for things for her to take to university. Despite it being august, the shops were packed with Halloween stuff. Massive fibreglass skeletons, ghost cushions, Halloween china, fairy lights and bedding. Halloween ornaments, biscuits tins, pasta, bunting, teapots and throws.

Even if you do want it, where are they putting it afterwards? I don’t think I ever buy anything without thinking where I’m going to put it though so that might just be me!

No. Almost everything is worse quality now and there’s so so much cheap tat around. Finding quality items is becoming much harder.

I think there is an element of this in my recent dislike of nice things - because so much stuff is terrible quality now, particularly cheaper things (including essentials like basic clothing and food), there's an unpleasant Marie Antionette edge to the lovely, well-made things from higher-end shops and brands.

You can curate your own experiences in a way you can't magic up the perfect dress or lampshade though. I think 90% of experiences are overpriced rip-offs but I also know which ones are in my wheelhouse and will make me very happy.

And you know what, the thing I hate about STUFF is that the number one thing I'll pay a lot of money for is LONGEVITY. I just want things that will last so I don't have to think about them again. It's the one thing you can't test for and it seems it's less and less of a priority for any company anywhere. Tech industry, I am yelling at you here.

I feel like this in bookshops. There are so many books I want to read that if I read 24 hours a day for the next 30 years I'd never ultimately be able to and that makes me sad.

I agree. Shopping for me is similar to scrolling through Netflix. I spend forever looking through this overwhelming choice, and end up choosing nothing.

Not at all.
I find it overwhelming and after certain age, this "nice" stuff and wrapping does very little for me.

I've found it helpful to start from a different base - rather than "ok, I like that and that and that", I now try to think "Ok, what do I have room for in my house and how do I best want to use that space to give me joy?"

I think there is room for a bit of "tat" in life. We've bought one of those metal house ornaments you put tea lights in as a new decoration this year, and yes it's tat but it's also lifting my mood whenever I see it. Similarly, the fairy lights over the doorway in the hall and the two Christmas pudding cushions in the living-room. But we don't have room for much more than that without being overwhelmed which I try to bear in mind when navigating all the Christmas stuff.

I hardly ever shop anymore. Don't buy presents, don't receive presents. Only buy clothes and toiletries that I need. Almost everything you see in a shop will end up in landfill. That's what I find depressing.

Consumerism is awful really when we have so much and just buy for the sake of it.

I get overwhelmed most in bookshops too. So many books! I feel like everything nowadays is an opportunity to spend. And I get stressed thinking about the shit quality of clothes at anything approaching an affordable price and how it won’t be long before there is no decent vintage stuff left either.

I walked our large co-op the other day and found nothing I wanted at all. And I was hungry. About the only place I may find something is a surprise item in a charity shop. I can look through M and S, and perhaps pick one item I wouldn't mind. I know people that love shopping, I like it and would love to scan items I desire, but that's long gone. Even clothes stores. Maybe some food or drink catches my eye. I was surprised recently I found something online ordered it, and I liked it! A rare feeling. I would love some premium homewares and fabrics, but they would be way out of my budget.

I think there's also a feeling of "What's the point?", now that it's so easy to buy anything. Having a beautifully decorated home? Well, there's paint and paper in every imaginable colour and design readily available, plus more inspiration photos than you could ever look at, ditto furniture, it's easier than ever to get even unique vintage/antique pieces delivered to your door, and there are a million lovely things available for any aesthetic you desire. So... why bother? The same with cake decorating (you used to have to get things from specialist cake shops, and now any supermarket stocks more decorating products than you would have found in one of those shops), making fancy dress costumes/makeup, anything that (used to) require a bit of creativity and skill or niche knowledge. It feels like the sense of achievement that comes with successfully turning a creative thought into reality is diminishing, because it's all just there to be bought.

Erm, so you think as you can order it there's no bother? You enjoy the hunt?

For me I look at everything now along the lines of: will I use it or will it outlast me. Will it be a pain to dispose of. My Mum was a little taken aback recently when I declared I wanted nothing of hers whatsoever. So beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Paint fills me with horror along with plastics and other pollutants. I guess if I wanted anything it would be a wardrobe of natural fibres, rugs, building materials and plants. I only acquired ornaments in my late forties and they are mostly hand-me-downs. My jumper I have worn for at least five years.

I think for this kind of thing it's partly, yes, enjoying the thrill of the hunt and finding something unusual, but also that it feels a bit pointless to make a homemade costume, decorated cake, etc., when there are loads of mass-produced perfect ready-made ones right there. It somehow takes the shine off giving it a good, but amateurish, go? Again, I'm finding it really hard to explain exactly what I mean.

Completely agree! Ten years ago Black Friday used to be a real event for me. I’d usually have my eye on a few nice things and have some money saved for them and be so excited. I used to treat myself to some jewellery, nice make up etc. I’ve looked this weekend and there’s lots of nice things but it just doesn’t feel “special”. There are so many brands, available on so many websites. I used to snap up clothes I liked so quickly, now even if I like something I think “oh I’ll probably see something next week I like” and I do. When everything is special, nothing is special I guess!

I know completely where you are coming from. There is just everything everywhere. When I was young I would save up for something special and it would feel like an event buying it
Shopping I John Lewis today and there was stuff everywhere and it’s hard not to feel overwhelmed.
I am making a conscious effort next year to step back from consumerism. I quite agree that social media has got a lot to answer for

@EligibleTern oh I have seen this, an aunt of mine used to enjoy cooking, would make beautiful home made dishes and puddings. When she retired, hung up her apron but for an Xmas pudding once a year and instead bought ready made everything and believed it to be great and convenient. It was quite the U-turn.

Didn't the scarcity of the pandemic or the price increase and diminished choice of Brexit make you more appreciative. I take no shopping for granted. Took us a while to reduce stock piling.

Yes. I used to have a huge problem with impulsive spending. Always felt like I 'needed' 'that thing' (whatever it was at the time). I've been like it my whole life, but now I'm the complete opposite end of the scale. I don't buy anything anymore. Sometimes, I feel like I want to treat myself to something, and still end up getting nothing. There's just SO much choice now, nothing feels special anymore, or alluring, as you put it.

No, I find the quality in so many shops really poor nowadays.

I have a wishlist and shop consciously. I’m slowly working through and removing things to simplify life.

Too much overwhelming junk that we don’t need … tons of it manufactured by China the world’s factory and who’s responsible for stripping the world of valuable resources … slowly corrupting peoples minds trying to convince us we need endless crap.

No. The quality has gone to shit. I'm struggling to find anything worth buying.

I feel overwhelmed by capitalism full stop - the constant bombarding of buy me buy me buy me want me want me want me from every source. I really felt it this Black Friday and have made a conscious effort to disconnect from social media and my phone. Have bought all my Christmas gifts and want to spend Dec focusing on enjoying connection and experiences. Feel soul sick from the selling culture we are living in!

I very rarely see anything that strikes me as lovely nowadays. And even if I do, I don’t often want to take it home with me. In fact, my urge nowadays is to get rid of stuff, not to acquire more.

And, while I love the thought behind presents, the idea of owning another thing (or worse still, it ending up unloved in landfill) is not exciting any more.

I did buy some friends gorgeous little advent cards with a Japanese winter scene. Found in a local bookshop, profits to charoty, small, recyclable and the nicest thing I’ve found for ages,