Would this have annoyed you?

[chocolatemuffin75]

Earlier in the week I needed to go to hospital, I asked my male friend if he wouldn’t mind taking me as I don’t have a car, he agreed, I said I would pay him back go out for food or I would give him some money for petrol, anyway last night he messaged asking if I fancied going for lunch today when I finished work, he said he would pick me up, I said yes, I said I would pay, but the whole time we were there I was chatting away and he was just looking around everywhere at people, not really listening to me, we had literally just finished our food and he said right are you ready? I just thought we would have spent a bit longer chatting maybe got another coffee, it’s left me feeling the only reason he wanted to go out was so I could pay him back for taking me to hospital, am I possibly overreacting?

Yes

just talk to him

you were fine asking for a lift to hospital

are you friends or not? Friends talk

Well this is a friend you’re able to ask for a lift to the hospital, so presumably you know him reasonably well? Don’t you spend time with him at other times? It doesn’t make sense that he’d willingly be your friend, spend time with you, but then only want to go for lunch because it’s free.

Yes he probably suggested it because you’d said you’d take him out for lunch. But you said you’d take him out for lunch! You can’t then get annoyed if he takes you up on it.

Did you see the meal as a date?

I got annoyed because he rushed it and wasn’t really listening to what I was saying. Yes I know him well.

No

I think you've probably just misinterpreted his motives tbh.

If all he was there for was to get his money's worth, he would have let you buy the extra coffees.

Maybe he only had time for a quick one today? Wanted to check on how you were?

Yes we are friends, was just wondering if I was overthinking it all

Well I would have rather he said that, rather than rushing it

Sure, but you can forgive a friend being slightly rushed can't you? Not much of a friendship if you can't.

Not just about rushing it, he wasn’t really interested in making conversation

But again, in a proper friendship, the other person isn’t always 100%?

Maybe he has something on his mind?

Whatever it is, it's extremely unlikely that this person has been a good and supportive friend for some time and now was so unbelievably desperate for a free lunch that they arranged this despite not wanting to spend time with you.

If you hear hoofbeats think horses not zebras.