Quiet firing, anyone with experience of this?

[Pottersciderbar82]

I believe that this is what is happening to me.

Lots of tiny paper cuts, pieces of a jigsaw all adding up to me being out.

Has this happened to you? Can you tell me what it looked like for you and how the hell you coped until you were forced out?

Im so so miserable but I’m the higher earner in our house so can’t just quit.
Thanks

Is it a school?

No

Start job hunting as a priority. Otherwise, keep it's not me it's them on a loop in your head, and smile and bear it. I'm sorry, it's horrible.

Constructive Dismissal? Are you in a union?

No union.

Thankyou, I have started to seriously scour job sites, there is absolutely nothing out there.

if you think you’ll be sacked get another job as soon as possible

if you think there is a potential redundancy wait it out.

If you think they’ll find it hard to sack you and are trying to push you out, can you start a conversation about a settlement? Go with some money

Is it somewhere they can actually fire you without a lengthy process? If not, keep your head down, create a bubble around yourself and get your ducks in a row for a new job whilst wringing as much training out of the current employer as possible. Put yourself first, not them, thicken your skin and find a way out on your terms.

@Pottersciderbar82 I thought I’d written this and forgotten about it.

I think this is happening to me. I’m being undermined, sidelined and honestly I think some colleagues would argue black is white with me. I feel like it’s being made unbearable so I jump before I am pushed.

Message me if you like, same situation as you I can’t really resign.

How it looks: people isolating you, undermining you, keeping their distance.

Meetings with senior managers attended by multiple people (witnesses).

Work/role changing. Tasks taken off you.

Lack of promotions.

Go with your gut and get out. It won't change. Mental health is worth more. Try to find opportunities on LinkedIn. Mark your profile as seeking work and maybe recruiters will find you.

I’d ask about a settlement, enough to give you breathing room to find a job.

As others have said, try to accept the situation as it will force you to plan for your future. Get your cv up to date. Do some job searches on indeed etc. Send your cv to some recruiters to see if they have anything. Take control.

Maybe you could explore an open conversation with your boss, calling out the “papercuts” to try and find a way forward together but you may find that may hasten their resolve to talk to you about leaving, if your senior maybe you’ll get a deal or otherwise you’ll be show a capability or redundancy process sadly.

sorry this is happening to you, it sucks, but sometimes things don’t work out. In my experience getting worked up about how they can’t do that to you and see what a union says, all just prolongs the inevitable and causes you much more stress than being in control of your own destiny.

And don't trust anyone.

I am also the higher earner.

I work in tech my company are doing this en masse via removing psychological safety, creating an oppressive work environment and setting KPIs that conflict across orgs amongst other things.

It's utterly toxic and oppresive. coworkers are very much "out for themselves" and its very dog eat dog.

They call resignations "natural attrition"..
there is nothing natural about it. A lot are quitting with no where to go.

I felt i was likely to be cut next year due to my orgs poor leadership and changes in company priorities so i decided to commit to "quiet quitting" in june and went balls to the wall applying for new jobs.
I got 2 offers after about 3-4 months... quit and got signed off for my notice period..new job starts in a few weeks.
The market is tough but there are jobs out there

Agree with trust no one..keep your cards very close and just work on getting out

How long have you worked there?

Fantastic advice, Thankyou all.

Quiet quitting Is a much better way to look at it. .

100%

Dont waste a shred of energy looking back
Work out your next move forward and really protect your mental health. I know quite a few people in the industry who ended up burned out - It can take a long time to recover.

This happened to me when I came back off mat leave. I got stuck with the low value work that no one else wanted on the team. I waited too long for it to change, but was very lucky that a better job at a far more prestigious company opened up. That was about 12 years ago and I am so glad I left- my career has benefited massively from that move.

What you've described is the very definition of constructive dismissal, though I'm not for a second suggesting you claim that - it's very difficult to succeed.

Something fairly similar happened to me. Luckily an opportunity came up for me to leave "honourably" as it were. It was very sad because the job and most of the people were great - it was my manager and a co-worker scheming, gossiping and making it clear they wanted me gone.

I agree with PPs, go all out to find another job. Make sure no-one knows. And while you're in your current job, just get on with the job and tell yourself every day that the issue is them not you.

Join a union. Try to spin it out for at least 3 months then the union can help you get a settlement

That happened to me when I came back after some sick leave (for something that qualifies as a disability, which I had declared to HR.

My line manager started taking some of my responsibilities away, excluding me from meetings and encouraging other team members to openly criticise my work.

I raised a grievance and they agreed to a financial settlement.

Don't let them just push you out. Keep notes of everything that is done and said to you and then raise a grievance.