Last time trend, bawling my eyes out (Title edited by MNHQ upon request)

[ImThePr0blem]

Came across the Last time trend on TikTok and now I’m stood in my kitchen sobbing.

For those who haven’t seen it, it’s a trend explaining how one day you’ll pick up your child for the last time but obviously you don’t know it’s the last time. That parenting habit just ends and new ones begin.

The trend shows people videoing themselves asking their child if they can pick them up and hold them one last time, the “child” is either late teens or even 20s/30 at that point and the mum hasn’t picked their child up in over a decade

It’s a heartbreaking and beautiful trend.
Has anyone else seen these?

Not sure that I like this 'trend' as it seems unnecessarily maudlin. The idea of asking to pick up adult children sounds quite demented.

I don’t use tiktok and haven’t heard of this particular trend, but the “did xyz for the last time and didn’t know” is something I think about from time to time.
I guess it stems from that meme that was doing the rounds a few years ago that said “isn’t it weird to think one day you ‘played out’ for the last time and you didn’t know.”
I can be quite a sentimental person and I think of things like… earlier this year my partner and I bought a house and we moved in when I was heavily pregnant. Prior to this we lived in a little apartment by a gorgeous park, and I used to walk around the park every day after work. In the last couple of months of pregnancy/living there, I didn’t do this walk because I struggled with my movement, I was huge and it was so hot out. So I would often think “awe one day I walked around that park for the last time, and I never knew.” I loved there for 12 years so did that walk a lot. It probably sounds daft but it is something I think about! I have a little baby now and the thought of picking him up one day for the last time and not knowing, does make me feel sad!

Ha ha a few years ago I was lamenting that DS would never sit on my lap again, so he did, all 6'3" of him. Careful what you wish for 😂

Yes, and trawling TikTok to find sentimental things to cry over is daft.

If I tried to pick my adult kids up they would think I'd lost my marbles.

I have never heard of this @ImThePr0blem Gosh, that's something to ponder over. When WAS the last time I picked up either of my 2 DC (now late 20s???!)

I have no idea. I suspect it was when they were about 4 or 5. Or was it 6?

You've given me something to think about now! 😆

I’m here for the trend of mums dancing around the kitchen when they realise they never need to change another nappy, see nursery’s number pop up on their phone at 10.15am, or do a nit check.

My 11 year old likes picking me up 😂

I don't gaf if MN thinks I'm sappy- when I think of this I feel the same as OP

The last time I held their hand to cross a road, or brushed their hair. Even the last time I did school run I didn't know it would be the last.

The last time I made dinner for them all as a regular occurrence.

Weeping

This relates to a poem I read when mine were little. It did hit me hard when I read it.

I remember the last time they slept on me, and the last time I fed them. Stuff like that.

It is a touching poem. I hope tic tok doesn’t ruin the sentiment.

How weird. I don't even remember when I last picked ds up as he's an adult. I just naturally went with the process. These 'trends' sound a bit performative to me.

I used to be able to stand up from the sofa with DH in my arms. Mind you, I was 40 years younger then, he's only slightly taller than me and was about 3 stone lighter...
DS is a tall broad chap. Can't lift him. He and I snuggle up on the sofa together when we are watching the telly - he was always a lot more of a cuddler than DD 😘

I swear sometimes some people would keep their children aged 2 and under forever. It’s really strange that it fixates so much on the baby / toddler stage. There’s last times everywhere but none that seem to invite this much self indulgent nonsense.

Yes, at some point I stopped routinely carrying my ds around (still working on DD.)

But how about some firsts?

The first time he read a book to me
the first time we went to a book signing together
the first time we went cycling together
the first time I took him riding on a pony
the first time we went to a painting class together

so so so SO much more enjoyable than carting a toddler around!

Sounds ridiculously mawkish.

Thank God my daughter doesn’t use TikTok. I have no desire to try and pick up a grown adult.
Children grow up…..it’s part of life.

Yes last times lead to first times that are happy

Mine are 11 and 20 and I can't remember when I last picked either of them up. I can remember when my eldest became able to climb out of his car seat without me lifting him and being so relieved as I had a very small car that meant lifting and twisting at the same time and it was doing my back in. That must have been at least 18 years ago and I have not missed it at all!

I never understood the "sadness" that kids grew up and didn't stay little. FGS it's better than the alternative. They were cute babies but I can still coo over photos of them happy in the knowledge that I won't be changing shitty nappies later. Maybe I'm just a hard bitch.

I don't mind a bit of sentimentality... but not contrived sentimentality. Like tonight we were at the Secondary School play. They got the Yr11s in the play, many of whom have done this every year since they started, to do a special Final Bow. That was acknowledging all they have done.

If they got them back in 10 years... then that will be pointless.

This is exactly my thought process for every card, every visit etc. I hug my DP extra every time I see them. It’s a horrible feeling.

I have seen it but I’m afraid I found it neither ‘heartbreaking or beautiful’.

Mawkish, unoriginal and copy-cat bollocks? 100%

I would get emotional if I thought too hard about this so instead I reframe it. I think ‘thank god they’re healthy enough to have grown up and are too big to pick up’. The alternative of not having them grow up soon makes me feel grateful and I don’t linger on the sadness of not having small children anymore.

Absolutely.

Every time I see things like this I want to say, count yourselves lucky that you’re able to watch your children grow up. That’s all.

Gosh I don't think I really care. I must have a heart if stone.

But I don't want to pick up my 6ft 20 year old!!!
It is sooo not the same as my snuggly 10 month cooing at me.
Love has evolved as my child has grown.