I was hoping somebody could help or at least sympathise. I’m so frustrated with the situation with my ex and our sons. We split up 2 years ago and are now divorced. He sees them on average 9 nights a month but we don’t have a routine in place for him to see the boys due to his job. From when we were married, I know that he has no shift patterns in place at all but has to do a lot of weekends and night shifts. He seemed to have his shifts a lot further in advance when we were together (6 weeks - 2 months in advance). Every month since we’ve had this arrangement, I’ve had to chase and beg him to let me know when he wants to have the boys the following month. As of today, 27th November, I don’t know when wants to have them beyond this weekend. He decides when he is going to have them based on his work pattern so he never has to arrange childcare; I have to use the school’s wraparound care which has to be booked a week in advance. I suppose I’m asking if anything can be done. I’ve tried repeatedly to ask if he can ask his employers to give him some sort of regularity or more warning about his shifts, he says there’s no way. I really don’t want to get to a point where I’m refusing him access to the boys as they have a good relationship with their dad. I don’t care how often he sees them – even if he only had them once a week on a fixed day it would be better than this. It’s making me so anxious as every month rolls around and I have to chase him for dates again. Is there anything legally I can do? I just feel like I’m living under his control even though we aren’t married anymore.