Child’s confidence at school

[Ohmydays35]

I am feeling really worried about my child’s confidence at school. She is bright as a button and has always done really well at school before - she’s seven and now in year 3. She’s not performed very well in their first round of English exams and so has been invited to do multiple early morning booster sessions (private school) even though her teacher said not to worry as she’s totally where she should be in class and clearly loves learning. She’s never been great at spelling but she’s summer born so still catching up there a bit I think…

I can’t help but feel doing these booster sessions is going to make her feel she’s crap at English- she already likes to joke “I’m not the one who’s good at English in this family” as we’re quite a bookish family and her older brother won an English competition last year. She’s a sensitive child who really takes things to heart and I don’t see how I can sell these boosters to her without them reinforcing this (wrong) view that she’s rubbish at this subject. It feels like it might embed something harmful really early on. (Separately I had her tested for dyslexia recently just in case because of the spelling and she doesn’t have it and in fact has a reading age of 10 and really good comprehension!)

Separately but contributing to my worry about her confidence, literally ALL her best friends except for her have just been chosen for a sports quad when she thought she was quite good (she is - not far behind them but not quite as good). So she’s already feeling left out and rubbish about that.

Feeling a bit lost and sad and not sure how best to help. She’s so little to start putting herself in good and bad brackets!

Booster sessions are to help. It’s all in how it’s sold to her. My DD severely dyslexic we always “sold” learning support as a positive and highlight how brilliant her dyslexic brain is. She is totally open with people about her dyslexia and views it as different but not negative. Some people need help with maths, some with English, some with foreign languages we are all different. Sell it as no big deal. At this age she will take her cue from you and school. If relevant my DD is at a selective independent secondary school so I don’t think it being private makes any difference beyond the cohort potentially being academic if it’s a selective prep.

I suspect this is a side effect of being in a competitive private school. I would just really big up what she is very good at. Just reassure her she is good at English etc it’s just to see if she can get even better.

She won’t be “just catching up” on being summer born, in Year 3.

Thank you - yes, you’re right. It’s just a bit tricky working out how to sell it to her is the only thing. My son (who is really great at English) has processing issues and some extra stuff for that and in a way that’s easier to sell because it’s a solid reason, and the adjustments really helped immediately. I just know my DD is almost looking for evidence to support her feeling that she’s not good at English and I don’t want to give it to her…