Bored & groundhog day

[namechangedforthisone90]

I work FT, have DH, x3 teen DC and a dog. Hobbies are gym/running/exercise. I am 53,no menopause as yet (sigh .. as I cant wait for periods to end).

I am bored, so bored with life. Love DH to bits. Have great friends. Don't want a new job or a new hobby or to move.

Everyday is ground hog day - in the week it's school run, work, if WFH then I'm picking up little home jobs inbetween working then dinners, gym/running/exercise. bath/shower, bed. Me and DH go out for meals sometimes, all hum-drum samey as little choice in our area and there is nothing decent further afield unless we go absolutely miles out.

We have holidays planned for next year.

everything just feels so boring. Is this peri-meno ? I feel like I am waiting for something to happen .. but not sure what that is ..

Maybe it's ..

waiting to get the minor house repairs/re-decorating done .. (but in reality that will NEVER happen due to wider issues) ...

...or for me to lose the weight I need to get off (2 stone) ... I've been trying to do that for several years now ..

...or waiting until one day I actually manage to find/buy some clothes that fit me AND look lovely on me AND make me feel fabulous .. that angst has also been on-going for several years. I have an old, tatty, minimum selection of clothes.

it feels that long gone are the days when I had any excitement . which last time I had that was when I was in m 20s.

Yes - it's all a bit samey, samey isn't it?
I think the long, dreary winter days don't help.

Reframe it as trying to enjoy small pleasures and new opportunities.

I feel the same and I’m only in my 30s. There’s not much excitement in doing things anymore.

What gave you excitement in your 20s?

Have you talked to your DH? Perhaps he can come up with some suggestions.

I feel like just taking off for the day .. no idea where .. and I would only be on my own. .. but I could drive to every end of England and I would still be bored.

It sounds like you're a little depressed and that can be caused by perimenopause.

It's not so much the feeling of boredom, but the feeling like there is nothing you can/want to do to change. The feeling that you're not in control of your life, that's a red flag for depression.

Things like:

I'm bored and everything is the same - but I don't want a new hobby.

The places we go for meals are humdrum - but we can't go anywhere else, literally everything different is impossibly far away.

I need to do some minor repairs/decorating - but that will never happen

I need to lose weight - but I can't

I need new clothes - but that feels impossible.

It's not feeling these things that suggests depression necessarily, but the complete lack of control you feel in being able to change them. Of course, if we look at them objectively they're all things within your control and it's unlikely that any of them are actually as impossible as they seem.

@frozendaisy tbh .. it was the buzz of being 'out out' ... pubs and clubs were different in my younger era .. I was a huge flirt and loved the attention. Work was one big hoot .. I was a junior with no responsibility, lunches were down the pub at least several times a week, some Fridays we never made it back to the office .. and the boss was with us. The only worry I had was what to wear for going out. I was slim, so very slim. I had little money and a shit car but I was so much happier. I can still go 'out out' now but there is no longer any appeal, pubs in my area are dead and I never want to go to a club again.

me and DH can go away for the weekend .. but what's the point as we are not going to do anything different to what we could do at home. We don't need childcare in the eves at home so we can go out whenever .. and one weekend away is not going to solve anything.

@NuffSaidSam some words for thought, thank you

Have you had any blood tests recently?

Low iron and Vitamin D made me feel down and bored. Once I got my levels up I started wanting to do things more often.

This 😕

@namechangedforthisone90
Yeah those heady days of our 20s are not coming back.

Would you book yourself in with a John Lewis stylist? They might at least be able to find you clothes you look fabulous in.

Know exactly what you mean OP. My early twenties were a great, zero responsibility blur of clubbing, drinking, flirting, easy to find part time jobs and total selfishness 😅 and full of hope and enthusiasm for the future!

That has all gone. I'm bored to tears. Have zero hopes for the future. I'm a full time carer for a family member. Even if I wanted to go out-out, which I don't and can't, I'd have to remain stone cold sober as I get a hangover from a single glass of wine now.

Perimenopause absolutely sucks. It sucks the life out of you. And HRT makes my IBS ten times worse. IBS - another thing I didn't get until my 40s.