Being asked if im neurodiverse

[WhistleforChristmasTime]

Ive been asked a few times recently if im ND! I probably have some quirks but someone told me I have nervous energy like her brother who has ADHD. Someone else told me I present as autistic !

Did you post too soon?

I'm not sure what you're saying about it/asking?

Who are these people? Are they very close to you, or strangers or colleagues?

I've also had an increase of people asking me, but tbh, I will get my results next week and professionals of the area keep going "neurodiverse for sure, specific diagnosis TBD" so clearly they aren't just guessing for the fun of it.
Does it bother you? After a life of doctors shrugging off my "are you sure it's just anxiety and depression" questions, I finally feel somewhat sane.

Colleagues mainly. I get on well with them. Ive been labeled with anxiety and depression which is probably a correct diagnosis to some degree. I remember my childhood where I spent a lot of time alone and become obsessed with my own world really. My family said I was an odd child lol. When I got older I was shy but I did socialise well in primary school but did struggle. I lied alot too. Im very avoidant I think. I mean does it matter?

Nobody is neurodiverse anyway. Society is neurodiverse. Groups are neurodiverse. Individuals are not neurodiverse. I wish people would stop using it wrong!

I wish people would stick to pedants corner or make their own post about wanting people to use correct terminology rather than being knob head know it alls and running someone down on a thread where they are talking about something that’s concerning them.

If you are happy then no it doesn’t matter at all.

I think in most contexts it is as rude as asking if someone is pregnant. I'd change the subject/not answer.

Having said that, I'm autistic with ADHD and I have a very finely tuned radar for other people with these neurotypes. I don't say anything unless the conversation is going in that direction though.

Im not happy but who is ?

I don’t know.
i have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression but this year for reasons I won’t go into realised that it’s possibly undiagnosed ADHD. My doctor agrees with this and I need to get an assessment. I think it matters for how you or your GP approach and/or treat it, and there’s a high level of co-morbidity between ADHD and depression. It takes a lot of energy to keep on top of things for a start and i am massively self-critical of myself for not being more organised and less chaotic. I mean, it’s exhausting being me.
I do actually think it could have been helpful if someone had said earlier. It was actually my daughter who said. I would probably ask someone why they were saying it, to be honest.
I think happiness is something which comes and goes but you can get towards a baseline of contentment and doing things you enjoy and feeling like they are meaningful.

Lots of people are happy (I’m not currently one of them though!)

I’m wondering about my own possibility of having ADHD at the moment. Exploring that rather than just continually putting it down to depression has been helpful in someways.

Do you have any avenues of support to help with your unhappiness?

People are constantly telling me I’m autistic. I’ve just been diagnosed with ADHD. It’s kind of annoying because people insist I’m autistic because of one or two things (explained by ADHD) and think they know me better than I do.

OTOH I am entirely convinced my nephew also has ADHD as he’s got so many of the things I have.

So I guess I find it annoying and yet I do it too! Not to his face though.

Im super organised. I wasn't as a child. My head was elsewhere. Ive never been happy I suppose. I dont really confide in people. Not my style. I was very fickle with friends and have low tolerance I suppose.

Neurodiverse people can generally pick another ND person out in a crowd.

I would suggest booking 6 sessions of counselling and see where it takes you. This is an important conversation for you to "have with yourself" if that makes any sense, and a therapist could help you explore this in a way that is much more productive than pages of MNers correcting terminology.

I do think people should stop asking people if they are neurodiverse. When did this become standard smalltalk? DD gets it a lot.

I had a lot of counselling but at 50 quid an hour its a lot of money

Fair enough, maybe not then.

An NHS assessment is free but waiting lists can be long. You can ask about Right To Choose which can speed things up. We paid £1k for a private adult autism assessment but people can spend more or less than that or wait on the NHS route. It is really up to you whether this is something that is important enough to you to pursue. For some people it helps them process, find peace and a more positive way forward in life, for others they see no need. It's a personal decision. What there isn't is a big bucket of money or support that becomes yours with a diagnosis. But it can empower someone to make changes, feel more comfortable with themselves, advocate for adjustments at work etc.

It is common for a newly diagnosed adult to go through a period of "unmasking" where the autistic traits they have been suppressing become more pronounced.

I also wish people weren't unpleasant on here and didn't call others names, but we can't always have what we want in life.

I wasn't running down the OP. It is incorrect for others to be telling OP they're neurodiverse, because it doesn't mean anything anyway, so OP doesn't need to take it seriously if they don't feel it resonates.

I think it's something that should just be left to the professionals and I'm not a fan of laypeople doing this. The process for diagnosing this sort of thing is very long and thorough so why people think they know enough about it to just suggest it like this makes no sense.