Anyone else’s mum against HRT

[Scotsmare77]

I’m 45, my mum is in her 70’s. She’s been very vocal to me recently about her dislike of HRT, says there’s no need for it, you’ve just got to get on with it, do it the natural way etc.

She was a complete bitch to me through her menopause. I’ve only put 2 and 2 together in recent years but she’s so lovely now (most of the time!).

I haven’t needed anything for peri menopause yet but I’m right to be taking no notice of her aren’t I? Just do what suits me when the time comes.

Yeah, just do it and don't tell her.

YANBU

My mum was vile through her menopause, well through my whole childhood actually, and when challenged would dissolve into tears and blame her hormones. She started HRT but then stopped because of the negative publicity. However she now maintains she "didn't notice" going through it.

When I have talked about taking my HRT she keeps talking about blood clots and cancer, like she's an authority on the subject. "What do you think your "anxiety" is being caused by the menopause do you?" etc. Fuck off mother.

Perhaps educate yourself as to the pros and cons and yup.. do what suits you when the time comes!

It's your decision, not hers. She already got to make her choice, she doesn't get to make yours as well.

Maybe she's bitter, maybe she's misguided, maybe she's just plain wrong. Whichever way - nod & smile and do what's best for you, and don't be afraid to keep quiet for the sake of harmony.

It’s quite possible that your mum went through the menopause at a time when there was a bit of a backlash against HRT when a couple of studies had highlighted some health dangers from HRT and magazines at that time were full of natural alternatives. This would have been possibly in the 1990s or 2000s and I recall reading a lot of articles aimed at natural solutions in magazines at this time, magazines aimed at older women such as Good Housekeeping which my mum used to have plus the health magazines I used to buy myself at this time. I think that the studies referred to older kinds of HRT which my mum would have taken in the 90s. But the articles stuck in my mind and I didn’t even investigate HRT, which most of my friends around 5 years younger than me (I’m 60) have taken to their benefit and I do wish I had investigated modern options a bit more thoroughly myself as I may possibly have benefited.

So yes, do your research and do what suits you when the time comes.

Its a personal decision.
My mum refused HRT when it would have helped her. We spent years as a family walking on eggshells around her, and I was a particular target for her hormones. I will not ever forget some of the things that were said to me, sadly.

You do what is best for you! HRT saved me. I'd become a shell of a person.

My DM claims that HRT made her nuts during the menopause.

My memory is that she went nuts due to menopause and that is why she got the HRT, however it was back in the dark ages of Prempak C and didn't really work.

Lots of memories of all the windows open while she had hot flushes and raged at me and my DF.

Her experiences are why I was so keen to have HRT myself as her bones have crumbled and she has had multiple episodes of urinary sepsis - she doesn't acknowledge that she has vaginal atrophy despite me explaining it over and over.

Was taking HRT in those days seen as a sign of weakness? I have friends in their 60s who refuse to take it and others who swear by it.

I can't take it as I'm on oestrogen inhibitors following BC treatment 😓

I think you should absolutely look into it and do what's right for you. I don't see how she would even know whether you're on it or not unless you tell her. Anyway, you get to make your choice just like she got to make hers.

I agree with a previous poster that your mum's menopause is likely to have been at the same time as some negative press about HRT (which has since been debunked). Plus there are some people who just think the Natural Way must always be best. My own DM is one of those (and is now in significantly worse health than she would have been if she'd accepted more medical treatment in the past for various things). I've never told her that I'm on HRT. It has been a great benefit to me.

My MIL was the same. She was a horrible woman for many years that it nearly cost her marriage. Barring a few barbed comments or just ill-considered comments, she's a lot better these days. Her days as a menopausal witch helped me ignore a lot of things and so I don't take a fervent interest in some of the things she says now, kind of a direct consequence of being that way I guess. HRT might have helped her, but she didn't seem interested in talking to her GP about it.