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DS and GF split and and now back together.

3 replies

Beltand · 26/11/2025 16:36

I don't know what happened between them and don't expect I ever will (or should).

I got on well with GF and had invited them both on a trip with me (which I paid for).

They split just before we were due to travel, with the result that neither DS or GF came. I lost the money. At the time I told GF not to worry about it and take care of herself. I think she might have offered something to reimburse me but I cut that off. I genuinely didn't want it, felt very sad for both of them and that money should be the last concern. Considered I'd planned to spend it anyway, so it hadn't cost me anything extra iyswim.

Anyway, they're back together and talking about living together. Yes, I have concerns but not my place to get involved.

What I am concerned about is that "before" she would be at our house several times a week. The last time I spoke to her was when she "let me down" over the trip. I haven't seen or spoken to her since they got back together.

DS says this is just because things haven't worked out for them to spend time at our house. I'm worried it's because she feels uncomfortable, either about the trip/money or the split and some of the things that were said, by her, then, when basically she never wanted to lay eyes on him again.

Obviously I don't want a situation where DS's partner is uncomfortable around me but I don't know what to do without risking making it worse.

If I make a thing of inviting her, that would be very different to the way it was before, when they just came and went and she was always welcome.

OP posts:
ItsABarbecueShowdown · 26/11/2025 16:39

How old are they and how long have they been back together?

Perhaps you could use Christmas as an excuse to plan something low key.

W0tnow · 26/11/2025 16:40

If it’s all recent, do nothing for now. Let things settle, and develop organically. If you must do something, mention to your son that you’re glad things all worked out.

Crikeyalmighty · 26/11/2025 16:49

I’m in a similar situation except they had been living together 2 and a half years - ( mid 20s) it’s my sons choice, he feels it’s too domestic/cosy at 27- she’s a fabulous hard working and very kind girl who has totally given it her all ( probably a bit too much bordering on needy) - don’t know if they will get back together at some point and suspect my son wants some space - I’m upset though I must admit - I really feel for her she sent me multiple texts pouring her heart out out saying she feels he’s thrown her away like the trash etc !! I’ve promised I will stay her friend as she had a rather disfunctional family and I think saw me like a mum x

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