Pgl and terrible sleeper

[Herculesandtheloveafffair]

Dd is a young year 5. She’s a terrible sleeper, well terrible at going to sleep. She stil needs us a lot, often really stresses out that it’s taking her ages to go sleep etc. She will eventually go off but often with us cuddling her.

PGL in year 6 is looming large in her mind and she’s already worrying about what will happen if she can’t get to sleep. And tbh so am I. She can get herself in to some really states.

Has anyone experienced this or similar? And if so what happened?

Yes. We had this. Our DC was motivated by wanting to go even though he was really anxious about it, so we started incrementally increasing independence at bedtime months in advance. We also did reciprocal sleepovers with very well known and trusted friends whose son was also nervous about the whole thing.
You can reassure her that it is only a couple of nights, that the days are full and that she will be in a dorm with her friends, so won’t be alone in the dark. And a book and favourite bear can be taken along. She may feel more ok about it as time goes on.

Send her with a book and a torch maybe?

I think teach her the a-z game and give her a list of things to do it on while she's away. Best Disney characters, favourite bands etc.

Oooh I don’t know the a-z game will look it up.

We’re already doing a gradual retreat type thing in the hope it helps her, even though PGL is actually a year away.

thanks for the suggestions

She will be exhausted from a full day of outside activities, if that is likely to help.

To be honest I think kids who are used to late nights are better prepared for these trips than the kind who are asleep at 7pm with no exceptions. My eldest has always been able to keep going on 7 hours sleep because she doesn't go to sleep until 11pm regularly.

We just remind her that lying in bed eyes closed is still resting, it isn't a waste of time. And getting stressed is never the answer 🙃 we realised she didn't know the feeling of falling asleep, so that last minute or so she would turn over, kick her legs, anything to wake herself back up. We had to try and get her to recognise the feeling and not to fight it.

It's just think of a theme and then a-z. So topic could be animals...

Armadillo
Bear
Cat
Deer

Etc

This is my daughter and has been since a baby. Never did the sleepy cues, never napped . And unlinke by son, who looks like he’s drunk 4 pints of beer if he goes 10 minutes beyond his usual bedtime, she can keep going and going.

Sounds good, I’ll get her to give it a go. Thank you!

If it gives you hope my eldest is 12 now and she has finally figured out her "way of sleeping". It involves a specific arrangement of pillows and it has worked much better since we gave her a double bed!

That is somewhat reassuring! She gets so stressed about it even though we try and tell her to relax (probably not helpful), but it’s hard when you’re also desperate to go to sleep!

We had quite a few classmates who were bad sleepers or prone to homesickness for sleepovers in preparation for PGL trips. Could she have a few of those so she’s used to it?

Yes I really like this idea @fiorentina. I might save it for. Few months and then start to ease her in. She’s had sleepovers with cousins who are very close, and an aunt who’s willing to lie with them until asleep. She’s only ever had one sleep over at a fiends and it didn’t go well, so we’ve never done it again.

Having taken children on trips to PGL, they all stay up late the first night (hello 3am!) the second night they all crash out early thank goodness.

As long as she’s in her bunk and not disturbing others/preventing them from sleeping it’ll be ok.

Thanks @Marmite27 I think her worry (and mine) is how stressed she getsabout not sleeping. It’s like she can’t just lie there peacefully. So at home one of us will end up going in and calming her down or holding her belly for her. But if she doesn’t have that and can’t sleep she has the potential to freak out a bit

Hopefully being exhausted and happy to be with friends will help her, but it’s a worry (mostly for her 😢)

That was me, I was a very stressed sleeper until I had kids of my own 😁 my mum had zero patience with me which was very sad for me. On my residentials I remember 1. staying up way later than usual and burning lots of energy by being social and 2. very busy days meaning I fell asleep very quickly! Hopefully your DD might find the same thing.

Thank you @ResusciAnnie thats helpful hearing from your first hand experience.

Im sorry your mum had no patience with you. I really try and be patient with DD, it can be hard sometimes though!