Ds9 struggling in school

[Beansandcheesearegood]

My ds 9 year 5 is really struggling in school. Doesn't want to go. Doesn't like teacher- i get the feeling its mutual. He gets into trouble- low level stuff, talking in class mostly, needing toliet in lessons. The teacher is retirement age and very strict apparently, old school style. We've had parents evening- all ok academically, she said he's chatty, too chatty (fair comment!) But she was saying he's not paying attention, answers back (he says he's explaining so who knows!). But anyway I'm not sure what to do. We've explained to ds he needs to not talk, concentrate etc. Hes finding it very boring, he feels shes harder on him than others- feels its unfair, he says he's getting told off every day- sometimes for things he's not done but if he tries to explain it makes it worse so is now taking punishments (losing break times) for things others have done. We've talked about perseverance, resilience not always being liked etc but its still early in academic year and I'm worried. Hes actually crying tonight to not go in. Any advice? I can talk to school again but its so hard to basically say to the teacher he doesn't like you & you dont like him- how can we fix this?

Poor kid is only 9 and he is being punished because he can’t act like an adult all day. This is the schools failing they have become so controlling to the detriment of children’s mental health and education.

@Clinicalwaste thanks, I'm trying to be unbiased but obviously I am! Good to hear another perspective. I feel its unfair, he's definitely not perfect but he's 9 abd clearly the teacher has all the power. Would you contact school again?

If he’s upset about going to school you need to raise it with his teacher. It’s a change that she needs to be aware of.
Talking aka being chatty is what’s classed as low level disruption. He needs to reduce it at the very least. If he’s explaining his point to the teacher that’s not answering back. Could you ask her for examples so you can talk to DS about it? You could frame it with her as wanting to help D S understand what is acceptable behaviour and what isn’t.
Some lessons are boring, but your DS will need to learn how to manage that.
How is he academically? Kids that are below where they should be can struggle in class and then say it’s boring if they don’t understand what is being taught. Is it all lessons or a specific lesson?
If you communicate to the school that you want to work with them to find out what exactly the issues are and how best to help your DS, they will be happy to help.

Thanks @Clinicalwaste great advice. He is chatty- this is definitely his issue. He is where he should be or above in all subjects so not sure what's going on- I've explained he might be bored and that's honestly hardluck. I've contacted school and we are having a meeting. I've explained a few bits so hoping to get a plan of some sort in place.